Hello! Thanks for the article links. They were both very interesting and helpful, a lot of things I hadn't really thought of before or hadn't been able to put words to. I'm glad that people see me as approachable and caring so that they are able to talk to me. I'm fine with my friend opening up to m...

That makes sense. Honestly, hearing that it's okay to go at my own pace helped a lot. I often feel cruel and manipulative when I "test" boundaries and vulnerability, but it does help me to feel more at ease (or know someone it's trustworthy with minimal damage on my end). I tend to wait li...

I've been generally unsuccessful with boundaries in the past. I used to really hate having my back touched, so I told my parents. They didn't really care and kept doing it until I got over it. I also have misophonia (a really intense negative feeling about a specific sound). The sound that sets me o...

In almost all of my relationships, I feel a lot of pressure to be constantly positive and strong. I'm the friend people turn for emotional support when things are bad, the voice of logic for difficult decisions, and a laugh in stressful times. Toxic positivity is the norm from my parents, to the poi...

Yeah, I think part of what I've learned is that actually asking someone's pronouns can be super personal. The friend who started definitely had/has intentions of just being a good ally and using the pronouns I gave her, but that was not the end result. I just have to be more careful in the future. I...

Hello everyone! First of all, I know that I use this service a lot, and I want to make sure that I am not monopolizing anyone's time/this resource. Please let me know if I'm using the message boards too much or too frequently, and I can definitely remove this post. Before I really go into this next ...

A few updates. I spoke to my friend/manager about how her report made things difficult for me personally. She sort of apologized to me, but explained that it was her job. It was clear that she was sorry that her actions had a negative impact on me, but it was clear that she wasn't really going to ch...

I think she'd feel incredibly guilty and feel like she can't speak to me anymore about anything that's bothering her which I don't want. She worries enough about work as it is without my telling her that she's made my situation a lot more awkward and uncomfortable. I think she also genuinely believe...

I can't seem to catch a break lately. I've got another friend that's been using me as her stress/venting relief. She's been very stressed out about school and work, and I completely understand that. However, she is also my manager and sort of (unintentionally) made things worse for me by reporting a...

Hey, y'all. It's me again. I've been working with a teacher this semester as a part of my training, and on the first day she asked me what my pronouns are. I saw the "everyone is welcome" rainbow sticker on the board, so I told her that I prefer they/them and was delighted when she used th...

Hello, everyone. Just a small update from me. The good news is that my friend has not texted me as a hotline for a good month or so. The bad news is that we will be texting about normal everyday things, and then they'll say something like, "lol nothing matters, gonna hit the dab pen before clas...

I really appreciate the suggestions, but I'm not sure if I can apply them to this specific relationship. This sounds completely awful, but I don't think I want to spend more time with this friend than I already am. Most of my classes are with them, we're in a lot of the same group chats, so I end up...

I'm pretty introverted and I'm a very active member of my club so that tends to eat up a lot of my social energy. Accepting last minute plans is really difficult for me, but I do make an effort to do social things that are planned out in advance, like attending a back-to-school dinner or things like...

The examples in those articles sound pretty extreme, and I'm definitely not there. I think I've also done my friend a bit of a disservice by making it sound worse than it is. In most respects, they are pretty good about boundaries. They know I'm pretty introverted, so they always respect my "no...

I'd say that even before their traumatic event, our relationship was 75%+ them asking me for help. Now it's pretty much all our relationship is. We do a few fun friend things together, but it's pretty unbalanced. I didn't realize this until recently, and it's been a weird thing to come to terms with...

I think this mentality probably comes from I was raised. When I asked for help with small things, my parents often said "I'm supposed to let you fail," so I've become very independent even with big things. My failures and issues are my own, and they shouldn't become someone else's problems...

Sorry for the long paragraphs and post ahead. I'm not really sure what I want out of these specific friendships, but I've learned from previous friendships that it's better to keep my personal struggles out of it. This means I don't really give them a chance to support me besides the regular stuff l...

Hey, y'all. This is sort of long post, and I'm not sure if it belongs here because it doesn't relate to sexual or romantic relationships, but I thought I'd give it a shot. One of my friends opened up to me about something something traumatic that they went through last year, and I've been supporting...

Honestly, we aren't super close. He's definitely more of a colleague than a personal friend. The fact that he knows tells me that it's a sort of widespread fact (at least among our extended friend group) and trying to put the cat back in the bag might not be an option at the moment. I think it's som...

Yeah, the financial aspect is a big push. One of my goals for my first few years out of university is to become financial independent and hopefully be able to push myself through some mental health treatment for some ongoing issues. As for the situation with my friend, it's a bit of both. I think he...

Hey everyone! It's been awhile since I last posted, but I've been pretty stuck lately. I've been thinking a lot of the pros and cons of coming out, and it's really weighed more on the con side for me. For me personally, I feel like coming out as agender it a lot for trouble than it's worth. In my he...

I hear you. I tend to believe that pretending like all sides of an argument are equal can be pretty harmful (like appearing to say that homophobia is okay). I'm definitely struggling to toe the line between shutting it down and not getting fired. I think that taking a no-hate approach and comparing ...

I'm unfortunately in a state that prohibits discussion of same-sex relationships in a positive light (not that that stopped any of my high school teachers). My manager suggested that I say something like "You have your own beliefs and that's okay, but we should think about how it might affect p...

Hello! I think this is my first post under Sex, Culture, and Politics. Not sure if it quite fits here, but it seemed the closest. Heads up that this story has some pretty intense homophobia in it. For some background: I'm a summer camp counselor in a swing state/district, but the kids tend to come f...

I do have quite a bit of choice where I end up, so that's good. In terms of presentation, that's been sort of a big struggle for me. I don't necessarily want to fit a stereotype of non-binary in order to be seen as valid. There are some things I do that probably read as more "androgynous" ...