It’s been almost a year since I posted this. This is an update to say that I think I’ve come to peace with the loss. I accept that womanhood is a thing that will happen to me whether or not I identify with it. This is my life. I can either whine about it or live with it, so I will live with it. So w...

Hi there! Sorry it's taken me so long. I have been trying to figure out what my wants and needs are, but they're often so in conflict with each other that it's easier to meet other people's expectations than my own. The good news is that I've started therapy, and that's something I can bring up and ...

Her reaction was odd. The fact that she compared it to not being invited to my very hypothetical future wedding seemed very strange. Usually it's my dad who does stuff like that, so it took me off guard. She has had a history of not understanding boundaries and privacy, but it might be a cultural th...

Thank you for the example! I mostly feel like boundaries = not love because of how they have reacted. We rarely talk about love or even say “I love you.” So the only time it’s really talked about is when I attempt to set a boundary. I almost feel their definition of love is that I don’t have boundar...

The mask was very deflective back when everything first started. It was a lot of “I’m fine,” “I’m just tired,” and “I’m still full from lunch earlier.” Now, it’s more preventative. If I show up with a smile and a joke, no one asks if I’m depressed. If I take a smaller first serving so I have room fo...

Hi! Sorry it's taken me so long to respond. Thank you for your kind words. To answer your first question, I mostly brushed them off (this was happening about 9 years ago). Since then, I've gotten very good at putting on a mask, so they don't ask me anymore. I think that if I were to mention that I'm...

If at all possible, I would like to avoid having my parents know that I’m in therapy. When my mental health issues first started, they were very invasive. I’ve learned to mask it so well because of that. Any time I didn’t take seconds, they asked if I were anorexic. Any time I wasn’t smiling, they a...

One of my big goals this year was independence. I wanted to graduate college, move out, and set out on my own with only occasional assistance with rent. Now, I'm back to living under their roof, and I hardly even pay for groceries. The one thing I was proud of was having my own health insurance and ...

No worries! It's really a combination of two things. First is that all the current job openings are exactly what I'm doing now just in a different location. I'm really not looking for a lateral move, and there aren't any other options open. I'm leaving the job for a lot of reasons, but a part of it ...

I'm reading through the resignation process, and it looks like the exit interview is just for the hourly staff. I'm salaried, so it looks like I have to write all my thoughts on the form. I'll still reach out to the union rep later next month, but at this point I'm just so exhausted I want it to be ...

Hi! I know I'm not an official Scarleteen person, so feel free to ignore this.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I'm in a similar boat with mental health issues. I'm not sure if this is quite what you're looking for, but I've found the SAMHSA to be helpful and knowledgeable.

I hear what you're saying about the negative self talk. I tend to be pretty touchy about gender stuff, so I often assume the worst because it's happened enough times. For example, the majority of the times people asked me about my pronouns, it was just to misgender me later. I meant in my prior post...

I haven't said anything to her, and it feels pretty awkward to say anything. I'm hesitant to say "hey I'm grateful for the invite, but it feels like tokenism, also you've broken my trust by putting my name down on this document and sharing it" to the one person who might be able to help me...

Apologies for my last post. I meant to say "curt" in the first sentence, not "cute." I'm pretty embarrassed; that was a very awkward typo. Some stuff has happened in between then and now that I'm not really sure how to feel about it. At first, the union rep seemed really supporti...

Hello all, I have a period question. I’ve had a regular cycle for years now with minimal deviation, but I completely missed my period last month. It just started today after about 40 days. I know I can’t have been pregnant because I have never been sexually active, so I’m not sure what happened. Rig...

I’m sorry my last response was so cute. I wanted to wait until there was more information. The union rep got back to me, and she’s willing to help me out. We are looking to create some sort of non-discrimination protections for employees. A lot of times, people will hide behind equal opportunity emp...

I have the job for 11 more weeks. I've decided to reach out to my district's union, and they seem to be interested in helping me. I managed to get a hold of the vice-president, and she is reaching out to the president and the state-level union. It sounds like they'll be able to help me talk to HR, o...

I told HR about everything that I wrote above. To be fair, one parent situation and one kid situation had been "handled" by my supervisor, even if not done in an ideal way. I shared the anecdote about the kid staring at my chest to show some of the difficulties I faced being out, but the H...

I just signed up for a listserv of others in my field, so we'll see how that pans out. I'd rather table the conversation about my friends for now because work is the main problem and it's what's most emotionally taxing. I've been having issues with most of my coworkers using she/her with me, and I'v...

I wish your friend the best. It's a tough spot to be in. I guess I'm just worried about implicit biases. I sort of went through this in the job search process. People saw me as a young woman and immediately sorted me into working with young kids even though I specifically stated that I prefer workin...

Hey there! It's totally okay that you responded. This is a bit of a jumble because I had a good response typed out but then I accidentally closed the tab and it all got deleted, so this is my quick retyping before I have to go. I remember that story, and I am sorry that your friend had to go through...

Lately, I’ve been having a hard time with my internal perception and the external perception of my gender. When I look in the mirror, I see what everyone else sees: A young woman. Try as I might with hair styles, wardrobe choices, and pronouns, I am always read as a woman due to my small stature and...

That's it for now, thanks.

I had a mild episode of alopecia back in October, but it hasn't fully grown back. I haven't had more than one spot (that I'm aware of) at a time since my very first episode when I was 7. Fingers crossed that my luck holds there. I'm not doing any upper body things, besides the things I'm allowed to ...

Hello! I'm (mostly) over being stressed about the bones being broken and in a cast, especially now that I'm allowed to start using that hand again. The thing I'm really concerned about is the rehab. The last time I broke a bone and tried to return to the sport, I came back too quickly and ended up w...