I understand. Try thinking about boring things, yeah, there really isn't much else one can do to fix this. Sorry!

I hear you about the embarrassment that someone will notice. Unfortunately, the best remedy is to slowly train yourself to stop thinking about sexual things when you get hard in a non-sexual situation like sports. Try thinking about gross things, or about really mundane things like times tables or s...

Hi otter8, This isn't uncommon! I would chalk it up to the adrenaline, and to certain muscles flexing. In some contact sports, like wrestling, this is quite normal, and is usually completely non-sexual. Also, you're currently going through puberty, right? Random and frequent erections are quite comm...

Hi utgard,

Yes, it's completely normal to feel arousal from a young age. There is no normal starting age per se for arousal and genital pleasure to occur.

Hi ivleo, Yes, it can get confusing, mostly because there's a lot of fearmongering and misinformation out there, I think! But then again, bodies are so variable, and reproductive systems are no exception. Lube doesn't actually limit sperm, it just slows it down and limits its ability to move spontan...

Hello Amara23, and welcome to Scarleteen! The fact that fingering doesn't feel like anything special for you is completely normal. In their response to another user who had the same issue as you, our founder Heather explained why it's completely normal for many people with vaginas to not feel much a...

Hello spottedowl, Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments with us. I understand the heartbreak that comes with being stonewalled by people with whom you once shared such deep and dynamic relationships, and it sucks that their stonewalling isn't really blameworthy--they were stonewalled by you ...

Then I think you should really consider talking to them about your loneliness and not being able to move on. Your therapist is trained, as Sofi said, to help you with stuff you're going through, and I can guarantee that the topic of romance and heartbreak is something that they won't find awkward to...

Glad we could help, Somesh!

Hello skzly, and welcome to Scarleteen! The disconnect you're experiencing between your sexuality and your continuing fantasies about men is a very common experience among lesbian people, especially those who have realized their lesbianism in adolescence or adulthood, as you have. Almost all of us a...

Hello TakeControl, At Scarleteen, we think that when someone does not like to perform or receive a particular sex act, they should not be expected or asked to perform/receive it anyway. Your girlfriend has made it clear that she doesn't like to perform oral sex, and she also told you why. You see, s...

Hi MusicNerd,

This is great news, thanks for the update! It's lovely to hear that your response to their state of mind was closure and relief, and it's even better that you feel free now to immerse yourself fully in dating other people. Good for you!

Hello Crow, Some techniques that hyposensitive people may use for sensory regulation are: eating strong-tasting foods (esp. super spicy, sour, and bitter foods), chewing ice, using weighted blankets (or piling on lots of blankets, or having someone lay on you [if you're both comfortable with it and ...

Hi misokosou,

That's a great idea! Sex, whether solo or partnered, should only be about pleasure, and not about conforming or battling FOMO. Good for you on deciding to take a break from trying.

Hey, good to have you back kokopeg! You don't have to make a whole new post, this is fine. On the one hand, I'm glad that you've gotten back to masturbation, and that it was fun the first time. On the other, it's really unfortunate that it left you feeling so upset the second time. Before we go any ...

Hi Spider Queen, I read through your thread, and I'm really sorry about this breakup. It's great, though, that you've been honest with each other about your expectations and current needs. How do you feel about them saying that they still like you, but not necessarily romantically? Is it comforting ...

Hello! Please don't feel inexperienced or embarrassed, the things we're talking about aren't very well-known at all! There are a bunch of stereotypical ways to masturbate that everyone grows up seeing and hearing about, which don't work for many of us out there, and I think it's worth celebrating th...

Hi spottedowl! Congratulations on steadily moving forward from what sounds like a horribly overwhelming phase in your life. It's clear that you've thought quite carefully about yourself, your needs, and your surroundings, and that's very inspiring to see. Your Sleeping Beauty analogy is quite apt; m...

Hello Somesh! I completely understand where you're coming from. Luckily, there are good telehealth services available in our country, and many of them are free. Here's a short list, in order of preference:- 1) iCALL Helpline is a free helpline and chat counselling service run by the School of Human ...

Hi mondilebel, and welcome to Scarleteen. You may have noticed that I've removed a word from your original post--I did that because that word attracts horrible trolls to our website, so don't think you did anything wrong by using it! I'm deeply sorry that you went through such a horrible experience,...

Hello Cecilia, I read through your thread, and I must echo Elise: it is 100% not OK that he coerces you into sexual activity, and it's absolutely not true that that's what girlfriends "have to do". Him telling you that you have to do stuff you don't want to do is sexual assault, like Elise...

Hello wolfcub, What are some ways that you've tried to expand your opportunities, aside from the dating site strategy you mentioned? Sorry to hear that it seems like you're stuck in a loop of some sort with regard to finding romantic links that stick. You spoke of your inexperience, and how that's w...

Hello mjlurks,

That sounds fun! Glad to hear that the language barrier isn't too much of an issue.

Hi sky! I hear what you're saying, and I can appreciate just how hard it must be to get in touch with your feelings as an adult, after having had them consistently sidelined in childhood. Would you mind elaborating on why you're afraid people will be angry if you don't disclose your virginity to the...

Hello kokoPeg, please don't apologize for bringing something else in, that's what we're here for! I'm really sorry that you're experiencing so much distress around masturbation. It sucks, truly. And I think you're right--stopping for the time being sounds like the best thing to do. You're not being ...