Hi Maximil -- the first thing I'm going to advise is definitely getting some lube for anal masturbation. The anus and rectum are not self-lubricating so using lube will help avoid any minor tearing in addition to making it more pleasurable. Is this something you think you could get ahold of? If not,...

Hi Hel -- I'm sorry to hear that seeing your older posts is causing some distress. As a general rule, we don't delete posts on our message boards, which is mentioned in the site guidelines. I'm happy to talk it over with our staff, but exceptions are rare. However, I don't want to minimize the anxie...

Hey purple_triangle -- I responded to your other thread with more technical advice, and here I'm going to try to address the emotional side of what you're describing. I'm so sorry to hear that this is causing you to question yourself and if there's something wrong with you, as well as all the frustr...

Hey purple_triangle - you're so right, starting to think about your frustration definitely contributes to continued issues in this arena. I'm sorry if I'm missing or forgetting details here, but am I right when I say that you're primarily using a vibrator and sometimes try your fingers? I'm wonderin...

Gotcha, thanks for explaining that. It sounds like, even though this therapist had been working with you for a long time, they weren't a good fit for you as you've matured and transitioned. I think that's something to just kinda keep on the back burner for sure. Again, we ask about the therapy stuff...

Hey whiteraven -- I have experience with narcissistic abuse myself and I'm so sorry to hear that you've had to endure it for so long. I'm glad you've made steps to get out of that situation, and I hope you and your daughter can stay safe. Getting used to things on your own is always tricky, but I kn...

Hey Advice123 -- what you're describing is one of the most common things users write in to us to talk about on the boards. Our bodies are all so different, so sometimes it can be hard to tell someone exactly what will help in cases like this. One trend I do notice though is that it's very uncommon t...

Hi AngelofEden -- I wouldn't be surprised if you trying to figure out if anything feels different or more normal is something that is really feeding into the experience you're having. Also, consider that how you're masturbating might not be what works best for your body. This resource and this resou...

Thanks for clarifying a little for me! Like I said, what you're describing is one of the most common things users write in to us to talk about on the boards. Our bodies are all so different, so sometimes it can be hard to tell someone exactly what will help in cases like this. One trend I do notice ...

Hey Lyle -- I totally relate to how you're feeling. Existing in a deeply misogynist, toxically masculine world can be exhausting and disheartening. I know there have been days where I felt actual shame and guilt for existing because of the unwanted, relentless, and harmful attention I've received fr...

Hi AngelofEden -- welcome to the boards! This is a very popular topic on our boards. I want to start by getting a little more information from you and clarify a few things you're experiencing. I noticed you said getting a finger in is uncomfortable, but then you said it's not uncomfortable just bori...

Hi glubglub, I'm glad you're able to relate to sweet-lemonade! Our users tend to pop in and pop out, so I'm not sure when she will be able to get back to you. If you want to talk about your situation more specifically, feel free to create in your own thread about it and we can talk there.

Hey again Raffles -- in regards to letting people in and asking for help, how open are you generally about your mental health with your friends? Based on your previous threads, it sounds like they're pretty open with you. When you say its easier said than done, what worries you the most? Are you wor...

Hi Raffles -- I'm a mentally ill person myself and I totally understand how you're feeling. I've been in so many situations where I committed to plans and shut down very shortly into them. I've apologized to my friends about it, but much to my surprise, I often end up finding out that my behavior wa...

Hi greenergrass333 -- it sounds like you're moving in a good direction with this. The thing about anxiety is that it makes us spin out and think about the possibility of things happening, often several steps ahead of what is actually happening. Seeing asking someone on a date is the very first step ...

Hi Lemonsodas -- the first thing I want to say is that having a bad or unenjoyable sexual experience doesn't necessarily make you asexual by default; sexuality is fluid, so asexual and sexual are not necessarily opposites of each other. What about the experience did you not like? Do you feel like yo...

Hey StarSystem42 -- I'm going to reiterate some of the advice Sam initially gave utgard, the original thread poster. You're definitely in a complicated position because dating communities that center on BDSM are currently not an option for you legally. It might be helpful to consider dating and find...

Hi fodder_king_ -- there's a lot we can talk about here. I'm going to ask a few questions to get some more details from you. Something I'm wondering about is the tension between having a restraint kink or fetish but also being triggering by media that contains restraint. I think you did a good job o...

Hey masu -- if it's not your period, then I think it's definitely an indicator that you and your boyfriend may need something to help with the friction when he fingers you. Valerie sent along some great resources about lubricant that I think might be helpful!

Hey Learningthings -- based on your description, it sounds like these bumps are ingrown hairs. These occur when a shaved or tweezed hair grows back but directly into the skin, often causing inflammation in the form of small, pop-able bumps. Generally, these do go away on their own but if you're find...

Hey Timm -- We will not answer ANY questions about pregnancy fear or anxiety in our direct services with users who are not pregnant or who are not or have not been otherwise directly involved with an actual pregnancy. Please do not post this kind of question here. If you are seeing this text with a ...

Hey Astra - not an awkward question at all, this is our bread and butter! We have a lot of folks who write in with very similar concerns regularly. I think I have an understanding of the feeling you're describing: when you put a finger in, you are more aware of the finger there than feeling pleasure...

Hey WiseOwl55 -- there is a possibility that you may not develop as much body hair as other people during puberty, or you may still be waiting for a bit. The rate at which bodies develop through puberty can vary. Taking a look at our resource Not Everything You Wanted To Know About Puberty (But Pret...

Hi WiseOwl55 -- while you are experiencing puberty, it's very common and normal to get erections unexpectedly and/or involuntarily. An erection isn’t always about arousal - sometimes it can happen as a result of friction, temperature changes (which might be happening while removing clothing to use t...

Hey Lyle Lanley -- we define personal safety in this case as someone causing or threatening bodily harm to you or you harming yourself. Feeling anxious about the possibility of someone seeing the posts or moving past the feelings you posted about does not fall into these perimeters right now. Howeve...