Hey MaClarCa0 -- you're already on the right track here! Fetishes are usually the product of external influences (like environment), individual experiences, and sensory preferences. It can be a little difficult to generalize the origin of fetishes because each person has such different experiences a...

Hey harry-p59 -- a "burner" is phone or other device that's designed specifically for temporary use. Usually they're inexpensive (though lower in quality compared to the average cell phone nowadays) and use prepaid/pay-as-you go minutes versus a contract so they're easier for young people ...

Gotcha! I ask because I'm wondering if this difficulty is mentally contributing to continued difficulty - sometimes this happens to folks. When you masturbate, what kind of environment are you in? Do you have enough privacy, or is it something you worry about?

Hey amberrobert -- I'm curious, when you're masturbating do you ever think about the fact that it's harder for you to orgasm? Do you feel frustrated?

Hey Madasheck -- you did say you were being snide but could there be some truth or genuine concern coming through with what your grandmother said to you? Sure, there could definitely be the motive of wanting someone else to deal with your rightfully intense emotions after this experience, but could ...

Hey Spider_Queen -- I think what's happening sounds pretty normal. You said that you were unable to communicate with your family about being trans for a long time, and to me this means you probably accepted them not using your name and pronouns and it became a norm. Now that it's suddenly switched, ...

Hey Raffles - I think you'd be surprised at how similar the needs of children and adults are. If you were talking down a child from a tantrum, what would you say or do? Maybe we can try to adapt those skills in a strategy for when you talk to A and B.

Hey again amysands176 -- I'm wondering, what do you consider harm in this case? I'm curious because, like I said before, you did mention that you were feeling some distress because you were concerned about having these fantasies. To me, harm is a spectrum... while I don't think this is an intense fo...

Hey amysands176 -- I wouldn't say that an obsession needs to be expressly negative to be worth talking over with a therapist or other kind of mental health professional. Having sexual fantasies is very normal, and often times people use their sexual fantasies to explore things they may or may not wa...

Hey ndisg -- unfortunately there is no handbook I can pass on to you on how to be a woman, even though it feels like everyone seems to know how to do it. You're totally right, gender is a social construct - meaning, we are not born with gender but are taught gender through what we experience through...

Hey Mixxes -- I think those are some of the hardest questions to answer, for ourselves and for others. Not only because everyone processes this situation differently, but because often the solutions are not instant. Right now, answering these questions might take the form of making and maintaining b...

Hey compscinerd -- if you're talking about a bathroom surface, just wiping up should suffice. You can always use a surface cleaner or anti-bacterial surface wipes if that's something your family keeps under the sink in there. If you're talking about cleaning yourself up, you could also just wipe off...

Hey Hollow -- there's a lot of dependent variables here. As it sounds like you already know, generally flavored lube is recommended for oral sex only as the glucose in most flavored lubes will feed yeast and thus can cause a vaginal yeast infection. Though this is definitely a thing that happens, it...

Hey ndisg -- I totally feel you on this because I'm currently experiencing something similar as I try to understand narcissism. Truth is, sometimes words or terms that have been created in order to more helpfully describe experiences or trauma make their way into popular culture. And sometimes, not ...

Hey littlemeowmeow -- your sexuality doesn't need a label right now, or ever if you don't want it. What matters is you're able to understand yourself, feel good, and communicate what you want or don't want from a sexual partner. Also keep in mind that you may change over time and you're never locked...

Hey shypixie -- You live with your sister, right? Those situations can be very complicated, here's how you can make a safety plan in that situation . It focuses more about feeling safe even if actually leaving is difficult. I also do not know how to drive or have a car, and I understand how much tha...

Hey Estobawk -- Though I totally understand not wanting to come on too strong, I also think trying to be subtle is a little risky too. You could accidently miscommunicate if the hint you're dropping has a different meaning for her, for example. I would recommend trying to find a way to be as straigh...

Hey cammcat -- I read that you're worried you're going to have a hard time remembering and explaining how you've been feeling. For what it's worth, I think you did a very good job explaining exactly what's been bothering you in your last post. If you're worried about remembering, you can also write ...

Hey truly-bluely -- I totally understand how you feel about your therapist. I don't think it's a requirement that therapists have personal experience with a given situation in order to give advice or help someone through it, but I think you're doing the right thing in being very mindful of the way y...

Hey tinygoblin -- I'm so sorry this is so frustrating and that it's continued from when you first posted. It sounds like the stuff that's going on with your friend isn't making it any easier for you. It looks like we already made sure it wasn't something like a new medication or stress, which are co...

Hi cherryrain -- I left a note for Sam on our backend to share whatever resources she had in mind when she responded last. I read through your thread and wanted to make a note of something: not all people with trans identities have a desire to have hormone treatments or gender-affirming surgeries. Y...

Hey tulipgardener77 -- did you check out the link Mo sent the person who posted the question you related to?

Hey Dabeda -- like Sam said, this is generally considered a low risk activity. It is possible to get STIs from precum, but it's tough to say that the chances would increase per se. If you experience any symptoms (like discharge that is not urine or semen or burning when you pee) or are feeling espec...

Hey shypixie -- I'm so sorry your sister outted you to your mom without your consent. I agree that talking with your mom sounds like an important thing to do. If you see this in time, you may want to check out Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out for some tips abo...

Hey Astra -- Much like Elise expressed, I think it's amazing that you're so self-aware and willing to explore what's going on for you when you read through material on our site. Based on what you described, it sounds like you may be a little sensitive to reading material that makes you feel especial...