Search found 438 matches

by Carly
Sun Jun 12, 2022 3:40 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fetishes
Replies: 1
Views: 907

Re: Fetishes

Hey MaClarCa0 -- you're already on the right track here! Fetishes are usually the product of external influences (like environment), individual experiences, and sensory preferences. It can be a little difficult to generalize the origin of fetishes because each person has such different experiences a...
by Carly
Sun Jun 12, 2022 3:25 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: coming out struggles
Replies: 29
Views: 9940

Re: coming out struggles

Hey harry-p59 -- a "burner" is phone or other device that's designed specifically for temporary use. Usually they're inexpensive (though lower in quality compared to the average cell phone nowadays) and use prepaid/pay-as-you go minutes versus a contract so they're easier for young people ...
by Carly
Tue Jun 07, 2022 9:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never orgasmed
Replies: 11
Views: 1555

Re: Never orgasmed

Gotcha! I ask because I'm wondering if this difficulty is mentally contributing to continued difficulty - sometimes this happens to folks. When you masturbate, what kind of environment are you in? Do you have enough privacy, or is it something you worry about?
by Carly
Tue Jun 07, 2022 6:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never orgasmed
Replies: 11
Views: 1555

Re: Never orgasmed

Hey amberrobert -- I'm curious, when you're masturbating do you ever think about the fact that it's harder for you to orgasm? Do you feel frustrated?
by Carly
Wed Jun 01, 2022 7:43 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker AND ANGRY
Replies: 9
Views: 5033

Re: Was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich stärker AND ANGRY

Hey Madasheck -- you did say you were being snide but could there be some truth or genuine concern coming through with what your grandmother said to you? Sure, there could definitely be the motive of wanting someone else to deal with your rightfully intense emotions after this experience, but could ...
by Carly
Wed Jun 01, 2022 6:31 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?
Replies: 3
Views: 4307

Re: Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Hey Spider_Queen -- I think what's happening sounds pretty normal. You said that you were unable to communicate with your family about being trans for a long time, and to me this means you probably accepted them not using your name and pronouns and it became a norm. Now that it's suddenly switched, ...
by Carly
Thu May 19, 2022 6:44 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Preparing for a difficult conversation
Replies: 25
Views: 29193

Re: Preparing for a difficult conversation

Hey Raffles - I think you'd be surprised at how similar the needs of children and adults are. If you were talking down a child from a tantrum, what would you say or do? Maybe we can try to adapt those skills in a strategy for when you talk to A and B.
by Carly
Wed May 18, 2022 9:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Weightgain kink
Replies: 5
Views: 2489

Re: Weightgain kink

Hey again amysands176 -- I'm wondering, what do you consider harm in this case? I'm curious because, like I said before, you did mention that you were feeling some distress because you were concerned about having these fantasies. To me, harm is a spectrum... while I don't think this is an intense fo...
by Carly
Sun May 15, 2022 3:43 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Weightgain kink
Replies: 5
Views: 2489

Re: Weightgain kink

Hey amysands176 -- I wouldn't say that an obsession needs to be expressly negative to be worth talking over with a therapist or other kind of mental health professional. Having sexual fantasies is very normal, and often times people use their sexual fantasies to explore things they may or may not wa...
by Carly
Thu May 12, 2022 8:25 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: I don't know how to be a girl/woman?
Replies: 3
Views: 4839

Re: I don't know how to be a girl/woman?

Hey ndisg -- unfortunately there is no handbook I can pass on to you on how to be a woman, even though it feels like everyone seems to know how to do it. You're totally right, gender is a social construct - meaning, we are not born with gender but are taught gender through what we experience through...
by Carly
Mon May 09, 2022 10:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 78
Views: 14760

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

Hey Mixxes -- I think those are some of the hardest questions to answer, for ourselves and for others. Not only because everyone processes this situation differently, but because often the solutions are not instant. Right now, answering these questions might take the form of making and maintaining b...
by Carly
Wed May 04, 2022 11:18 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masturbation worries
Replies: 7
Views: 2916

Re: Masturbation worries

Hey compscinerd -- if you're talking about a bathroom surface, just wiping up should suffice. You can always use a surface cleaner or anti-bacterial surface wipes if that's something your family keeps under the sink in there. If you're talking about cleaning yourself up, you could also just wipe off...
by Carly
Wed May 04, 2022 9:32 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: I accidentally used flavored lube while masturbating?
Replies: 3
Views: 10482

Re: I accidentally used flavored lube while masturbating?

Hey Hollow -- there's a lot of dependent variables here. As it sounds like you already know, generally flavored lube is recommended for oral sex only as the glucose in most flavored lubes will feed yeast and thus can cause a vaginal yeast infection. Though this is definitely a thing that happens, it...
by Carly
Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?
Replies: 16
Views: 4126

Re: How do I know I'm not missing red flags?

Hey ndisg -- I totally feel you on this because I'm currently experiencing something similar as I try to understand narcissism. Truth is, sometimes words or terms that have been created in order to more helpfully describe experiences or trauma make their way into popular culture. And sometimes, not ...
by Carly
Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:23 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Never wet/aroused
Replies: 5
Views: 3060

Re: Never wet/aroused

Hey littlemeowmeow -- your sexuality doesn't need a label right now, or ever if you don't want it. What matters is you're able to understand yourself, feel good, and communicate what you want or don't want from a sexual partner. Also keep in mind that you may change over time and you're never locked...
by Carly
Wed Apr 27, 2022 7:03 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!
Replies: 21
Views: 13114

Re: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!

Hey shypixie -- You live with your sister, right? Those situations can be very complicated, here's how you can make a safety plan in that situation . It focuses more about feeling safe even if actually leaving is difficult. I also do not know how to drive or have a car, and I understand how much tha...
by Carly
Thu Apr 21, 2022 6:50 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How / when should I tell my friend I'm in love with / want to date her?
Replies: 10
Views: 3572

Re: How / when should I tell my friend I'm in love with / want to date her?

Hey Estobawk -- Though I totally understand not wanting to come on too strong, I also think trying to be subtle is a little risky too. You could accidently miscommunicate if the hint you're dropping has a different meaning for her, for example. I would recommend trying to find a way to be as straigh...
by Carly
Thu Apr 21, 2022 5:26 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Advice
Replies: 8
Views: 3165

Re: Advice

Hey cammcat -- I read that you're worried you're going to have a hard time remembering and explaining how you've been feeling. For what it's worth, I think you did a very good job explaining exactly what's been bothering you in your last post. If you're worried about remembering, you can also write ...
by Carly
Thu Apr 21, 2022 5:05 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: The idea of sex makes me dysphoric
Replies: 5
Views: 3441

Re: The idea of sex makes me dysphoric

Hey truly-bluely -- I totally understand how you feel about your therapist. I don't think it's a requirement that therapists have personal experience with a given situation in order to give advice or help someone through it, but I think you're doing the right thing in being very mindful of the way y...
by Carly
Mon Apr 18, 2022 12:00 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Wanted: Libido
Replies: 7
Views: 1520

Re: Wanted: Libido

Hey tinygoblin -- I'm so sorry this is so frustrating and that it's continued from when you first posted. It sounds like the stuff that's going on with your friend isn't making it any easier for you. It looks like we already made sure it wasn't something like a new medication or stress, which are co...
by Carly
Wed Apr 13, 2022 7:24 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Why does wearing women's clothes feel like crossdressing even though I'm female?
Replies: 6
Views: 10695

Re: Why does wearing women's clothes feel like crossdressing even though I'm female?

Hi cherryrain -- I left a note for Sam on our backend to share whatever resources she had in mind when she responded last. I read through your thread and wanted to make a note of something: not all people with trans identities have a desire to have hormone treatments or gender-affirming surgeries. Y...
by Carly
Wed Mar 30, 2022 2:49 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: i only feel pleasure from other people, but i still can't orgasm. help?
Replies: 4
Views: 3232

Re: i only feel pleasure from other people, but i still can't orgasm. help?

Hey tulipgardener77 -- did you check out the link Mo sent the person who posted the question you related to?
by Carly
Wed Mar 30, 2022 2:48 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can you get STIs from a handjob?
Replies: 3
Views: 3969

Re: Can you get STIs from a handjob?

Hey Dabeda -- like Sam said, this is generally considered a low risk activity. It is possible to get STIs from precum, but it's tough to say that the chances would increase per se. If you experience any symptoms (like discharge that is not urine or semen or burning when you pee) or are feeling espec...
by Carly
Wed Mar 30, 2022 2:33 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!
Replies: 21
Views: 13114

Re: My sister told my mom that I am a lesbian. Please help!

Hey shypixie -- I'm so sorry your sister outted you to your mom without your consent. I agree that talking with your mom sounds like an important thing to do. If you see this in time, you may want to check out Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out for some tips abo...
by Carly
Mon Mar 28, 2022 12:25 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Uncomfortable reading the articles here
Replies: 3
Views: 1444

Re: Uncomfortable reading the articles here

Hey Astra -- Much like Elise expressed, I think it's amazing that you're so self-aware and willing to explore what's going on for you when you read through material on our site. Based on what you described, it sounds like you may be a little sensitive to reading material that makes you feel especial...