i'm not sure. i don't think that the experience bothers me anymore - i just wanted the right terminology for it.
thanks!

i think it's pretty normal to want external validation. & the thing about "attention seeking" is that it's perfectly human to want attention and isn't a bad thing. so there's nothing wrong with wanting to make & post something especially if it'll make you feel better. or maybe try ...

when i was 11, my best friend at the time were in the hot tub together, and she asked me to kiss her. the idea made me really anxious (plus i thought i was a straight girl) so i said no, but she kept asking. eventually i said yes & we kissed. later that night (she was sleeping over at my house) ...