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Search found 79 matches

by Lyle Lanley
Sun Oct 16, 2022 12:59 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: it changed colour?
Replies: 1
Views: 2566

it changed colour?

so, yesterday i was checking out my private with a hand mirror, and i noticed that a lot of it was brown, when the other times i checked it was pink. what could be the causes? i've googled yesterday and most of what i remember is that it happens in puberty. i think mine is basically done since my pe...
by Lyle Lanley
Wed Oct 05, 2022 7:14 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: best friend cut ties w me
Replies: 3
Views: 6702

best friend cut ties w me

before we start talking: this is no recent thing. it happened in may. last year me and this friend (i'll refer to her as R) were going good, but by the start of this year our friendship was already falling out, i was the one who talked a lot about myself while she didn't talk much about herself. we ...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Oct 03, 2022 10:19 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: should i see the dr.?
Replies: 5
Views: 3910

Re: should i see the dr.?

hi sam w, the pain is basically gone. today i have peed with no pain whatsoever, and i didn't need to go a lot. also no incontinence or leaks, and the only cramp i recall recently was in my ovary due to the recent end of my period. also, is hand on clit okay if i wash my hands? (and i could get cond...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Oct 03, 2022 6:47 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: should i see the dr.?
Replies: 5
Views: 3910

should i see the dr.?

hi scarleteam, me again. so, i've been starting to have UTI symptoms when i was abroad. i'd hold my pee for long until it hurt, had a few small accidents, and when i peed it was not much. i would often get pain before or after peeing, or a few times even at random. worth mentioning that my hygiene w...
by Lyle Lanley
Fri Sep 30, 2022 12:50 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: are my crushes normal?
Replies: 2
Views: 4903

Re: are my crushes normal?

also, i don't like it when people say liking older men is cos of "daddy issues". i love my dad so much, he is a great person and i think that he is the person who treated me the best and loved me the most in all my life. we have a great relationship. with my mum though, not so much. i've n...
by Lyle Lanley
Fri Sep 30, 2022 12:30 pm
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: are my crushes normal?
Replies: 2
Views: 4903

are my crushes normal?

okay so, i am on the asexual/aro spectrum and define myself as grey-acearo. the definition of grey-asexual is someone who experiences limited sexual attraction, or only in certain circumstances. (same with romantic). i have chosen to use that term since it resonates with what i feel somehow. so, as ...
by Lyle Lanley
Sun Sep 04, 2022 1:36 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: complicated relationship with men and masculinity
Replies: 5
Views: 11788

Re: complicated relationship with men and masculinity

thanks a lot carly. yes i am starting to realise that, trying to work stuff out and all. no, not anymore, i stopped therapy last year, before some other problems started surfacing (like my loneliness and this misandry thing). and then again, that therapist has been my therapist ever since i was abou...
by Lyle Lanley
Wed Aug 31, 2022 2:30 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: complicated relationship with men and masculinity
Replies: 5
Views: 11788

complicated relationship with men and masculinity

so, i am a masc nonbinary person, and am dating a trans boy, right? but i often catch myself saying things like "men are trash/murderers/rapists" "i hate men" "they should die" etc. and talking about how they are very selfish and have built this entire world using the b...
by Lyle Lanley
Sun Aug 21, 2022 12:57 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: ace/aro, trauma or...?
Replies: 3
Views: 3703

Re: ace/aro, trauma or...?

hi valerie and tysm for the answer. i want to just have some more clarity on my identity. i know that i've only felt sexual/romantic feelings about people who wouldn't be realistically pursue-able, while i can have qpp/alterous feelings for ppl regardless of gender but preferibly t4t (might be a coi...
by Lyle Lanley
Wed Aug 17, 2022 1:00 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: ace/aro, trauma or...?
Replies: 3
Views: 3703

ace/aro, trauma or...?

hello scarleteen. this is a doubt that has been tormenting me for years, so it might be a long post and i apologise. the first exposures to love that i had, were cishet couples. my mum and dad, disney princesses, other cartoons, which also included children dating (obv cishet, cos gods forbid a chil...
by Lyle Lanley
Wed Aug 17, 2022 12:26 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: delete old posts?
Replies: 3
Views: 11435

Re: delete old posts?

define personal safety. it's mostly mental health reasons and also fear that if the ppl involved saw the posts, they'd turn against me. i'm just very anxious but that's my problem. also they came from a skewed perception of the reality at the time: my relationship problems could've been solved by co...
by Lyle Lanley
Tue Aug 16, 2022 3:39 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: could my mum have found something?
Replies: 7
Views: 4278

Re: could my mum have found something?

update update! i was able somehow to get around it by asking her out of genuine curiosity, if she sees every info about what i buy from my credit card (which was given to me in occasion for this trip specifically). she said she sees everything, then asked me "why? do you want to buy something f...
by Lyle Lanley
Tue Aug 16, 2022 3:32 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: delete old posts?
Replies: 3
Views: 11435

delete old posts?

i've already changed my handle for anonimity, but could you please delete my posts "a load of relationship stuff" and "i regret this so bad", please? if this is too selfish of a request and you can't do it, i understand. but i've gone over that now, so much changed for the better...
by Lyle Lanley
Sat Aug 06, 2022 5:19 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: tampons and hymen
Replies: 3
Views: 3705

Re: tampons and hymen

thank you for the answer sam w. now i don't mean to gaslight myself, but i think it's just the hymen plus the emotional impact. i was already feeling uncomfortable cos i felt the tampon and i had it in wrong, so i was sitting there in discomfort and pain and couldn't tell anyone except my mum. i had...
by Lyle Lanley
Wed Aug 03, 2022 10:36 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: tampons and hymen
Replies: 3
Views: 3705

tampons and hymen

i apologise for this may be a long topic ok so, last week on vacation i successfully used tampons. this is a great step for me because one of my first topics here was my inability to get anything inside my vagina. the tampons were small, the "beginner" size. i tried them in june and it was...
by Lyle Lanley
Tue Jul 26, 2022 11:35 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: AGAB lies
Replies: 1
Views: 2835

AGAB lies

*sighs* here again. sooooo. it's been a year since i know this girl online. i went by he/him on the social she found me on. so she assumed i was cis and i ran with it. for over a year. even casually mentioning amab anatomy/terms and even issues. and i am a nonbinary, technically "trans boy"...
by Lyle Lanley
Fri Jul 22, 2022 6:10 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: could my mum have found something?
Replies: 7
Views: 4278

Re: could my mum have found something?

heather, i think if she had a negative opinion of it (which she probably does) i would be very scared of ending up in trouble. which i am. since she's been very strict all my life about many things, told me not to do drugs, drink, watch porn etc. how do you think she'd feel about me having a sex toy...
by Lyle Lanley
Sun Jul 17, 2022 8:54 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: could my mum have found something?
Replies: 7
Views: 4278

Re: could my mum have found something?

thanks a lot for your answer. yes, she does have a vibrator. but i thought that she would only be ok with adults doing it, not her 15 year old child. but a conversation we had on the exact day where i posted this made me feel as uneasy as it did less anxious. she started with saying that her friends...
by Lyle Lanley
Sat Jul 16, 2022 1:17 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: could my mum have found something?
Replies: 7
Views: 4278

could my mum have found something?

i am 15 and recently i bought a clitoral vibrator, here in italy sometimes they sell those in automatic machines along with condoms. i've been using it when my family is asleep, or when my brother is out of our shared room and my parents are elsewhere. it's my first time with a real toy since i've b...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Jun 27, 2022 3:03 pm
Forum: Gender
Topic: scared of detransition + my views on gender
Replies: 6
Views: 7805

Re: scared of detransition + my views on gender

update on this!! i am nonbinary transmasculine, and despite internalised transphobia and those intrusive thoughts, i am trying to accept more my feminine side. i do makeup and sometimes wear a bit more fem clothes, but not in a cis girl way. cos what i don't want to be, is a cis girl. and i am not t...
by Lyle Lanley
Tue Mar 29, 2022 2:52 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: am i exagerating? what do i call this
Replies: 1
Views: 4383

am i exagerating? what do i call this

i've had some instances where there has been some mild-ish action when i didn't want it. i'll describe it here some years ago i would be hanging with this cis guy B (i call him ex but tbh we ""dated"" in elementary, then we had conflicts and then soon we were "on friendly te...
by Lyle Lanley
Tue Mar 29, 2022 2:13 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: scared of detransition + my views on gender
Replies: 6
Views: 7805

Re: scared of detransition + my views on gender

to sam w's question, it's just me feeling more on the feminine side of gender sometimes. and it makes me feel uneasy and scared. scared cos i don't want people to see me as a "girl". it's not as much about presentation, as it's how i feel. being a femme transmasc is just not for me (i was ...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Mar 28, 2022 11:53 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: scared of detransition + my views on gender
Replies: 6
Views: 7805

scared of detransition + my views on gender

okay. so for starters i am a genderqueer trans guy since last year or so, and ever since my puberty ended i have identified as nonbinary or transmasc with any label. but lately, i am feeling oddly feminine, and i don't like it; i'm scared that one day the feminine feeling will take over me completel...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:12 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: i regret this so bad
Replies: 4
Views: 3107

Re: i regret this so bad

also, the kiss was disgusting. teeth clashing, tongue slashing and saliva sloshing... not for me. now trying to think/fantasize about kissing anybody else or having any type of romantic closeness repulses me. idk if i might be on the ace/aro spectrum and this is a "symptom", or if it's jus...
by Lyle Lanley
Mon Mar 14, 2022 8:05 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: i regret this so bad
Replies: 4
Views: 3107

i regret this so bad

yesterday i've had my first kiss, but not with my partner (let's call him L, who is long distance) but with another guy (A) , who i am not attracted to and lives pretty far away from me- we see each other sometimes because our parents work together. i can't determine if it was an accident, or who ki...