Hi Veronica37111, welcome to the boards! I’ve merged your posts to address them together. I can’t say for sure why you didn’t feel pleasure, but you’ve listed a few plausible reasons. The fact that this was your first time and that you didn’t do much foreplay could have contributed to you being tens...

Hi PomPom, Everyone is different, so it would be hard to pinpoint a single explanation — maybe it is difficult for you to feel aroused at the end of a long day, or perhaps something in your environment needs to be changed. You could try again when you’re at home during the day, to see if changing th...

Hello PathLessTaken, welcome to the boards! So, it sounds like you want to experience pleasure from penetration and orgasm without a vibrator — is that right? We can absolutely explore ways to address these concerns, but I wouldn’t necessarily think of them as problems to be fixed. Often, it is bett...

Hi Sky, Don’t worry, Heather and Sam are very nice people — they may provide advice on your profile, but I can’t imagine them saying that you have no chance. That would be mean, and it is also untrue. It is okay to want reassurance, but do you see how this is an example of negative self talk? You ma...

Hi there, Candikelp! Of course, it is okay to respond after a month. You don’t have a deadline, and we are always here. :) I think that trying a new haircut, a binder, and maybe exploring HRT are great steps to consider! You could also explore masculine voice training and the kinds of aesthetics tha...

Hi Sky! I understand that you had no intention to be transphobic. It isn't disrespectful to be in lesbian/sapphic spaces when you are curious about penises. Since there are sapphic women who have a penis, you may well be able to explore that interest with them. We should only remember that just beca...

Hi there, Sky When we ask you to focus on yourself, it isn't because you should feel fine being alone. Human beings are social creatures — your desire for connection and support and deeply understandable. Taking the time to care for yourself can help you manage anxiety, and tune out any insecurities...

Hi there, Malla_Fluff I'm sorry you're experiencing so much distress, but I'm glad you feel safe talking about a subject that is so personal here. You are not disgusting, you are worthy of love, there is nothing wrong with you, and this will not keep you from finding a loving relationship. I promise...

Hi Sandrah, welcome to the boards!

Yes, you are right! There is no chance of pregnancy in the situation that you've described. Sperm cells are pretty delicate, so they can't survive being transferred to your hands and then being exposed to soap and water.

Hi Sterling, welcome to the boards! I understand this looks like a situation where you have no good options, and that must be really frustrating! You've been on this birth control for a few months, so it is a good time to evaluate whether it is working for you. Before you make changes, you might wan...

Hi The17O, welcome to the boards! I'm sorry, it is clear that this has been very distressing for you! For what it is worth, this does not seem like sexual assault to me. You were not showing deliberate disregard for your partner's safety or wellbeing, you just got caught up in the moment and didn't ...

Hi there, Sky! I think your explanation is clear, and you can certainly frame it this way when you talk to your therapist. I'm just not sure about this idea- if your first time was very pleasurable, why does it mean that you won't feel that good again? As Sam discussed, there is evidence that people...

Hi Dayriri, So, you do experience arousal, but both clitoral and vaginal stimulation feel neutral or painful. In that case, I wonder if it would help to take a step back from genital pleasure to focus on general bodily pleasure instead. Sometimes developing a better connection to your body can make ...

Hi Sky, As I understand, you want to explore a sexual/romantic relationship with someone you trust. Of course it makes sense that you want that. I wouldn't say that you can't have what you want, just that you may not be in the right circumstances. I do feel sex is gross like there’s so much exposed ...

Hi Depressedlol, welcome to the boards! The way you experience your sexuality can change throughout life — just because you're having difficulties experiencing pleasure now, that doesn't mean it will feel this way forever. There is definitely hope. You mentioned that you have read some similar posts...

Hello Serek, welcome to the boards! I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed - I hope this information will alleviate your concerns. Sperm can't travel through clothes, so you can safely assume that there was no risk in the activity you described. Since you're experiencing your usual PMS symptoms, your ...

Hi there, Sky Our feelings are important, but they do not always describe reality. Being able to make this distinction is a useful skill — one that can be improved with practice. Is sex wrong and gross, or do you feel like sex is wrong and gross? Do you have nothing to offer a partner, or do you fee...

Hi Privacy1234!

If it helps, a few of your posts have already been moved to a part of the boards that only staff members and volunteers can see on your request. If there is still information that could pose some risk, users can use this contact form to explain the issue.

Hello Rain39! Hmmm, I don't think there is an alternative to condoms in the situation that Kier suggested. Lube and condoms are very useful to have on hand when you're exploring sex. Would you like to talk about some ways you might be able to access them without going through your parents? You don't...

Hi Maxipad101! It is good that you stopped once you were feeling uncomfortable! I think you are on the right track for dealing with that tear- if it isn't bleeding, you can continue to treat it gently until it heals. When you say you know that your partner doesn't have any STIs, is it because both o...

Hello Xiaoge! You're right, it can be really hard to imagine how a new relationship might work if you don't have any examples - this is a common issue for people who are new to polyamory. Thankfully, the skills you need to manage a polyamorous relationship are not all that different from the ones yo...

Hello Cy! You might be able to look into your mind or your past and find a reason that explains why you are attracted to periods, but that doesn't always happen. Often, there just isn't an obvious or clear explanation for this sort of thing. There is nothing wrong with your interest, so I'm glad you...

Hello Vixtor, welcome to the boards! This is a new activity, so it makes sense that it feels strange. I will note that masturbation tends to feel better/less awkward if you try it when you're already aroused. If you would like ideas on what you can try, we have an article about masturbation: Going S...

Hello MountainMix, If your girlfriend and Lexi are afraid to speak to Haris, it may be best to have the conversation about limits in different circumstances, like when someone from the office of student apartments is present. For now, do they feel safe in their living situation? Have things simmered...

Hello Sprinkledsugar, welcome to Scarleteen! I promise, there is nothing wrong with you. Yes, many people start exploring masturbation around the age of ten, but that doesn't mean it is abnormal or wrong if you don't masturbate or if masturbation doesn't feel good. Take a look around the boards, you...