If I may ask, what is the hurry to find a relationship? I....guess I don't have a great answer to this question, and it's something I've asked myself when I feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself. I absolutely take your point about being interested in people and not thinking of them as r...

Thanks for this thoughtful answer and for the encouragement, Heather. It's a good list of offline suggestions--I've tried speed dating a couple times with no luck, but I like the idea of volunteering and meetup groups. I do definitely feel like trying to socialize more and thus overcome general feel...

Yes, with you so far, and thanks for the reassurance--I think I was flailing a bit when I wrote all this, and your response helped. Especially your point about trying to just enjoy meeting people and socializing instead of trying to go in with the goal of finding dates, it's something I've thought a...

A few different folks recently have asked me whether I'm dating anyone. When I've said no (and it's not for lack of wanting to), a couple of them replied with some version of, well why not. To which I guess I have some ideas. For one reason or another, the apps just haven't worked for me (cue anxiet...

Thank you, Sam!!

Hi Sam, Thank you for these resources! As far as communicating, a few things come to mind off the bat: 1) advocating for myself, especially in a difficult conversation or when I'm worried the other person will be upset; 2) being clear and direct about what I want and voicing my opinions, instead of ...

Hi Latha, Thanks for your thoughts. To start with the second point since it's quicker, yes, I guess I just need to remind myself to defer that question for now about my coworker, and see what happens if/when I leave my job. Re. long-term relationships, I guess I have a few concerns: 1) I felt like I...

A couple months ago, I ended a relationship that was just under a year long. I'm at peace with that, but I don't feel like I've done the self-reflection, self-growth, etc that I feel like I need to do to start dating again. The thought of another relationship (long-term, anyway) is intimidating righ...

Yeah, that seems like what's needed. Thanks so much for all your input!

Hi, (thanks for that disclaimer) Yep, I think slowly but surely I've come to that realization. It hurts me to say it's starting to dampen my enthusiasm for the relationship as a whole, and yet. (It seems like it's maybe indirectly bringing up some of the repressed purity-culture religious ideas arou...

So, an update: I tried bringing this up, and it didn't go well. For context, it was during a conversation about our relationship generally, in which they were expressing they'd like to see me be more expressive with my thoughts and feelings (on the one hand, not my strong suit, on the other, they kn...

Thank you for that very helpful advice and the resources! To your last point, I think it's a bit of all three of those things (maybe the excitement factor being first among them). I like the feeling of connection I have when we're making out or cuddling, and part of what I want is to take it to a ne...

I'm in a new-ish relationship that's been exclusive about five months now. The mental/emotional connection feels good, we see eye to eye on a lot of things, but our sex life has been developing very slowly. Anything we've done has been fully clothed, not touching each other's primary erogenous zones...

Yes, that sounds good. Thanks. She does seem like someone I would want to have as a friend if not as a partner, so I definitely want to be sure I phrase things right. Any advice on how to thread that needle? And text vs in person? Thanks so much.

I've been taking a summer college course that just finished up yesterday. It was remote but some of us who all live in the same city have been getting together and there's a girl I met who is really nice, cute, fun to be around. Some of us were all hanging out last night (and drinking), she asked me...