So I talked to her about me being able to be monogamous to her for a while, but that I don't know if my desire to be in a monogamous relationship will change in the future and that made her feel extremely unsafe with me and sad because she wanted to be monogamous with me forever. And I told her that...

I’m okay with being monogamous with her and seeing where the relationship goes. She’s never been in an open relationship, which is why she said it’s a possibility but not a certainty and why she said she’s scared it might happen, but not completely sure it will. It’s theoretical. I did ask her about...

I have been with my girlfriend for two months and we have been talking about our boundaries, identities, and different dynamics we want in our relationship. I am caedograysexual and polyamorous meaning that I became asexual after a traumatic experience and have periods where I feel sexual attraction...

Hey everyone. So around a year ago, I wrote to y’all about what I was going through with my ex (ie. her manipulating, gaslighting me, treating me poorly, cheating on me, etc.) and through therapy I recognized that she emotionally abused me. I had to still work with her in the non-profit we’re a part...

It was more so a discussion we were having, not really about a particular situation. But the conversation sprouted from this reel that mentioned a person not having a “spark” because they’re not constantly thinking about the person they’re dating and that person is not constantly occupying their min...

So recently I got into a debate with a friend about whether having “intensity” in a relationship is indicative of an unhealthy relationship and whether you can be “obsessed” with someone and have a healthy relationship. My belief is that obsession and healthy love cannot exist in the same space but ...

Yea. I think I’m definitely going to distance myself from her. Especially when she continues to caress me and treat me like a romantic partner when I’m not one. It’s pretty hurtful to think that someone you cared about and who you thought cared about you views you as a weird anomaly rather than a pe...

So I've currently been dealing with rejection and also confusion from a close friend, let’s call her Tammy. I've had a crush on her for a few months now and yesterday she confronted me about it and asked if I liked her. I said that I was actually even going to ask her out to Queer Prom and plan some...

So we took a small break so that they could collect their feelings and think clearly. When we came back to talk they apologized for their behavior and for trying to get me to apologize to Jill when I didn’t want to. They said that they were just very stressed because every time they hung out with Ji...

We’ve run into yet another dilemma. Lake now wants me to apologize to Jill but I have nothing to apologize for. Lake said that it’s because they feel that an apology will get Jill to stop being in pain and will solve the problem of Jill’s suffering because they know Jill needs one. And my other part...

I decided to break up with Jill because our conversations were going nowhere and my friends helped me realize that she was behaving in a manipulative and controlling manner with me and I could not tolerate it. I also realized that I wasn’t myself with her at all and I felt like I was constantly walk...

Honestly, it sounds like Ashley is a monogamous person. She even said herself that she sounds like a monogamous person too. The funny thing is she has another partner, Charles, and they’ve been together for 8 years but she says she’s lost passion for him. She still loves him, but they feel more like...

So we had a conversation as a throuple but it feels like it’s going nowhere. Jill constantly feels excluded, constantly feels alone, constantly feel alone and I just don’t know what to do about it anymore because I’m trying my best, and so is lake, to include her. I’ve planned dates with her, Lake i...

Lake seems to be coping with their past trauma better than Jill, but I'm afraid it's because they're not confronting what happened. They seem to have moved past it but I don't think they have because it shows up in the way they feel like they owe sex. It seems like they feel they owe partners sex be...

So it’s not that I don’t like having intercourse at all, it’s that it doesn’t really sexually stimulate me very much and I can’t orgasm from it. However, if my partner wants to have it with me, I enjoy it because they’re enjoying it if that makes sense and that’s what sexually stimulates me: the fac...

Im not quite sure how I can when they’re both very intercourse centered and geared. They say they don’t need intercourse, but that’s usually the go to sex act for them and is what their sex is centered around, which leaves me out of the equation most of the time.

Of course. So it took me a bit to realize I wasn’t satisfied because I guess I’m just used to not orgasming now? And when I did I told them about how I was feeling. I told them that I had a lot of difficulty orgasming, that I wanted to orgasm, and that I needed clit and nipple stimulation to get the...

Hello! I just recently entered a triad with two partners. Honestly, I'm very happy with our relationship so far as we have great chemistry and communication. However, I have been feeling insecure about my capabilities to perform during sex as well as my adequacy as a sexual partner. These insecuriti...

So before I engage in sex with any new partner, I always ask about STI status, past condom usage, and their preferences on condom usage when having sex. Usually I’d “so before we engage in our fun, let’s about STIs and condom usage” which then leads to a conversation about our status and whether our...

I definitely can. I always use condoms with anonymous partners/random hookups. However, they disclose that they don't use it with others and use that as a way to get me to not wear condoms, which just makes me want to wear them even more with them. Haha. The only people I don't use condoms with are ...

That makes total sense and could possibly explain the harsh nasty reactions I got from cis men as opposed to my partners who are women and non-binary people. Those men probably have prejudice against me because I'm a femme, bisexual, trans, non-binary, polyamorous person. And they probably blame me ...

No one has directly called me worthless, but the way some people (particularly cis het men) reacted to me telling them was very off putting. The guy I most likely contracted the chlamydia from who never uses condoms or gets tested got mad at me, yelled at me, and said “I hope you didn’t give me that...

Hello! I recently tested positive for chlamydia. This isn’t the first STI I got (I tested positive for HPV years ago) but it’s my first time getting chlamydia. I knew it was bound to happen because I have many sexual partners and am extremely open sexually (I attend sex parties, kink parties, etc) a...

Hey Sam,

That makes total sense. Thank you for the clarification. I’m going to be talking to my therapist about this to figure out next steps on how to heal from this and how to avoid relationships like this in the future. Thank you for your input. It helped tremendously.

One other thing I’m struggling with is also trying to figure out if abuse really was involved and, if so, who the abuser was. My friends say there definitely was abuse and that my ex was abusing me, but when I confronted my ex the day we broke up about her being abusive, she said that it was really ...