Search found 67 matches

by Mixxes
Wed Jul 19, 2023 2:27 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship
Replies: 5
Views: 38171

Re: Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship

So I talked to her about me being able to be monogamous to her for a while, but that I don't know if my desire to be in a monogamous relationship will change in the future and that made her feel extremely unsafe with me and sad because she wanted to be monogamous with me forever. And I told her that...
by Mixxes
Wed Jul 12, 2023 12:52 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship
Replies: 5
Views: 38171

Re: Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship

I’m okay with being monogamous with her and seeing where the relationship goes. She’s never been in an open relationship, which is why she said it’s a possibility but not a certainty and why she said she’s scared it might happen, but not completely sure it will. It’s theoretical. I did ask her about...
by Mixxes
Tue Jul 11, 2023 9:28 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship
Replies: 5
Views: 38171

Girlfriend says she'll lose sexual attraction for me if we open our relationship

I have been with my girlfriend for two months and we have been talking about our boundaries, identities, and different dynamics we want in our relationship. I am caedograysexual and polyamorous meaning that I became asexual after a traumatic experience and have periods where I feel sexual attraction...
by Mixxes
Sun Mar 26, 2023 9:04 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: How to work with someone who abused you
Replies: 1
Views: 18653

How to work with someone who abused you

Hey everyone. So around a year ago, I wrote to y’all about what I was going through with my ex (ie. her manipulating, gaslighting me, treating me poorly, cheating on me, etc.) and through therapy I recognized that she emotionally abused me. I had to still work with her in the non-profit we’re a part...
by Mixxes
Mon Jan 23, 2023 6:24 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Can healthy relationships have “intensity”?
Replies: 3
Views: 4243

Re: Can healthy relationships have “intensity”?

It was more so a discussion we were having, not really about a particular situation. But the conversation sprouted from this reel that mentioned a person not having a “spark” because they’re not constantly thinking about the person they’re dating and that person is not constantly occupying their min...
by Mixxes
Mon Jan 23, 2023 5:55 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Can healthy relationships have “intensity”?
Replies: 3
Views: 4243

Can healthy relationships have “intensity”?

So recently I got into a debate with a friend about whether having “intensity” in a relationship is indicative of an unhealthy relationship and whether you can be “obsessed” with someone and have a healthy relationship. My belief is that obsession and healthy love cannot exist in the same space but ...
by Mixxes
Mon Jan 23, 2023 9:21 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Confused
Replies: 3
Views: 6307

Re: Confused

Yea. I think I’m definitely going to distance myself from her. Especially when she continues to caress me and treat me like a romantic partner when I’m not one. It’s pretty hurtful to think that someone you cared about and who you thought cared about you views you as a weird anomaly rather than a pe...
by Mixxes
Sun Jan 22, 2023 8:14 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Confused
Replies: 3
Views: 6307

Confused

So I've currently been dealing with rejection and also confusion from a close friend, let’s call her Tammy. I've had a crush on her for a few months now and yesterday she confronted me about it and asked if I liked her. I said that I was actually even going to ask her out to Queer Prom and plan some...
by Mixxes
Thu Nov 24, 2022 5:32 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

So we took a small break so that they could collect their feelings and think clearly. When we came back to talk they apologized for their behavior and for trying to get me to apologize to Jill when I didn’t want to. They said that they were just very stressed because every time they hung out with Ji...
by Mixxes
Fri Nov 18, 2022 8:52 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

We’ve run into yet another dilemma. Lake now wants me to apologize to Jill but I have nothing to apologize for. Lake said that it’s because they feel that an apology will get Jill to stop being in pain and will solve the problem of Jill’s suffering because they know Jill needs one. And my other part...
by Mixxes
Tue Nov 08, 2022 10:03 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

I decided to break up with Jill because our conversations were going nowhere and my friends helped me realize that she was behaving in a manipulative and controlling manner with me and I could not tolerate it. I also realized that I wasn’t myself with her at all and I felt like I was constantly walk...
by Mixxes
Sat Nov 05, 2022 11:24 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Honestly, it sounds like Ashley is a monogamous person. She even said herself that she sounds like a monogamous person too. The funny thing is she has another partner, Charles, and they’ve been together for 8 years but she says she’s lost passion for him. She still loves him, but they feel more like...
by Mixxes
Sat Nov 05, 2022 8:07 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

So we had a conversation as a throuple but it feels like it’s going nowhere. Jill constantly feels excluded, constantly feels alone, constantly feel alone and I just don’t know what to do about it anymore because I’m trying my best, and so is lake, to include her. I’ve planned dates with her, Lake i...
by Mixxes
Wed Oct 19, 2022 3:17 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Lake seems to be coping with their past trauma better than Jill, but I'm afraid it's because they're not confronting what happened. They seem to have moved past it but I don't think they have because it shows up in the way they feel like they owe sex. It seems like they feel they owe partners sex be...
by Mixxes
Fri Oct 07, 2022 7:05 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

So it’s not that I don’t like having intercourse at all, it’s that it doesn’t really sexually stimulate me very much and I can’t orgasm from it. However, if my partner wants to have it with me, I enjoy it because they’re enjoying it if that makes sense and that’s what sexually stimulates me: the fac...
by Mixxes
Tue Oct 04, 2022 3:29 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Im not quite sure how I can when they’re both very intercourse centered and geared. They say they don’t need intercourse, but that’s usually the go to sex act for them and is what their sex is centered around, which leaves me out of the equation most of the time.
by Mixxes
Tue Oct 04, 2022 10:40 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Re: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Of course. So it took me a bit to realize I wasn’t satisfied because I guess I’m just used to not orgasming now? And when I did I told them about how I was feeling. I told them that I had a lot of difficulty orgasming, that I wanted to orgasm, and that I needed clit and nipple stimulation to get the...
by Mixxes
Tue Oct 04, 2022 8:43 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries
Replies: 19
Views: 11093

Throuple Sex Insecurities and Worries

Hello! I just recently entered a triad with two partners. Honestly, I'm very happy with our relationship so far as we have great chemistry and communication. However, I have been feeling insecure about my capabilities to perform during sex as well as my adequacy as a sexual partner. These insecuriti...
by Mixxes
Tue Oct 04, 2022 7:43 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: First Time Getting Chlamydia
Replies: 9
Views: 5375

Re: First Time Getting Chlamydia

So before I engage in sex with any new partner, I always ask about STI status, past condom usage, and their preferences on condom usage when having sex. Usually I’d “so before we engage in our fun, let’s about STIs and condom usage” which then leads to a conversation about our status and whether our...
by Mixxes
Wed Sep 21, 2022 11:00 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: First Time Getting Chlamydia
Replies: 9
Views: 5375

Re: First Time Getting Chlamydia

I definitely can. I always use condoms with anonymous partners/random hookups. However, they disclose that they don't use it with others and use that as a way to get me to not wear condoms, which just makes me want to wear them even more with them. Haha. The only people I don't use condoms with are ...
by Mixxes
Tue Sep 20, 2022 8:34 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: First Time Getting Chlamydia
Replies: 9
Views: 5375

Re: First Time Getting Chlamydia

That makes total sense and could possibly explain the harsh nasty reactions I got from cis men as opposed to my partners who are women and non-binary people. Those men probably have prejudice against me because I'm a femme, bisexual, trans, non-binary, polyamorous person. And they probably blame me ...
by Mixxes
Sat Sep 17, 2022 2:08 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: First Time Getting Chlamydia
Replies: 9
Views: 5375

Re: First Time Getting Chlamydia

No one has directly called me worthless, but the way some people (particularly cis het men) reacted to me telling them was very off putting. The guy I most likely contracted the chlamydia from who never uses condoms or gets tested got mad at me, yelled at me, and said “I hope you didn’t give me that...
by Mixxes
Sat Sep 17, 2022 11:28 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: First Time Getting Chlamydia
Replies: 9
Views: 5375

First Time Getting Chlamydia

Hello! I recently tested positive for chlamydia. This isn’t the first STI I got (I tested positive for HPV years ago) but it’s my first time getting chlamydia. I knew it was bound to happen because I have many sexual partners and am extremely open sexually (I attend sex parties, kink parties, etc) a...
by Mixxes
Mon Jun 06, 2022 9:13 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 78
Views: 16050

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

Hey Sam,

That makes total sense. Thank you for the clarification. I’m going to be talking to my therapist about this to figure out next steps on how to heal from this and how to avoid relationships like this in the future. Thank you for your input. It helped tremendously.
by Mixxes
Sun Jun 05, 2022 1:17 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Polyam Relationship Advice
Replies: 78
Views: 16050

Re: Polyam Relationship Advice

One other thing I’m struggling with is also trying to figure out if abuse really was involved and, if so, who the abuser was. My friends say there definitely was abuse and that my ex was abusing me, but when I confronted my ex the day we broke up about her being abusive, she said that it was really ...