I try to always remember that phases aren't necessarily "wrong," and one of the things I've told those around me who are worried at HRT is that I can count on one hand the number of genuine regrets I have in my life. Unfortunately, I haven't had the chance to go to an event that consists o...

Hi Mo, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for posting this. Your response was so awesome to read because I really relate to how you feel. I feel decidedly not womanly, but not necessarily a man. In fact, the word man is something I find myself shying away from, because it feels very rough. I th...

Thank you so much for responding! I had a very trans-friendly therapist (she wrote my letter) and while she was great in that aspect, I think I need someone with a little more structure. This new therapist was recommended to me by a friend of mine who's a trans woman, so I'm fairly confident she's t...

Hello! I know I posted here 8 or 9 months ago about gender identity. There have been some significant, notably positive developments! I go by they/them with confidence now, and I am part of (and co-facilitate) and a group for folks 18-30 who are trans, GNC, and/or not-cis in some capacity. This has ...

Hi there Redskies. I don't think you grasped the wrong end of the stick at all! In fact, I was sort've thinking of this stuff recently (I apologize for the delayed response, I was on vacation!!) It's NOT about him or him not being "good enough," it feels more about like, it's so hard to ex...

I would love to spend more time in queer spaces and with queer folks, but I don't know a ton! I have this new friend, and a trans man/trans masculine/AFAB support group that meets monthly, but the majority of my friends are cis and straight. I'm working on expanding my circle it's just...hard. Readi...

Hi Mo, Thank you for getting back to me about this. I am such an impatient person sometimes, and I'm awfully hard on myself, so waiting things out is hard for me. I do plan to talk to him once I get back from my vacation, but I worry that even if he commits to being better and watching what he says,...

Hello! I've been having some doubts and concerns about my relationship lately. I'm an AFAB tentatively non binary person and my partner is a cis het man. I've been questioning my gender in the context of this relationship, and have been more and more comfortable identifying as non binary or gender n...

I've talked to my partner about it and he's supportive, but I can tell he's got fears of his own. I think he fears people judging me, and judging him as well. I think he fears me drifting away from him during this exploration, which is not what I feel right now but not something I want to say will n...

All of that makes a lot of sense. Coming to terms with the messiness and the grey area is hard though and I don't know how to go about it, exactly. Like, it's good to say that messiness should be celebrated, or at the very least accepted. But...how? How do I go about convincing myself that messy is ...

This was...so awesome to read honestly, thank you Heather, I really can't thank you enough. This feel very reassuring. I don't know what I need to see me. I wish I could feel more confident, more put together. I wish I could make peace with the grey area I feel like I've been living in for so long. ...

Hi! I hope it's alright to continue this thread...I didn't want to clog up the board and I saw this was still on the front page. I've been having a lot of feelings lately and was hoping to just get some of them out, and get feedback, or insight, or encouragement, or reassurance, or...anything, reall...

I'll have to see if I can snag these from the nearby university library...thank you so much for your help Heather! It was so good to talk to you and get your perspective, I appreciate it tremendously from the bottom of my heart. I'll see what tomorrow brings and then probably pop back on here at som...

I've been trying to get better/have gotten better w/r/t being hard on myself. I think it used to be worse, and now when someone calls me out on it I can take a step back and say "oh...ok, yeah, I see what you mean!" Sure, I would love book suggestions! Do you know if I can get them online ...

Ahh, that's such a good perspective, and you're so right! And I've HAD that kind of mentality about OTHERS before - like, my ex-girlfriend dealt with a host of mental and physical illnesses and I remember telling her, you're very strong to be doing what you do WHILE dealing with all this stuff your ...

I generally only apply superhuman thought or expectancy to myself - other people don't apply, if that makes sense. Like, if someone said to me "Oh I have illness XYZ" I wouldn't be like "EW you're gross!" But when it comes to myself, well, I feel like I've failed myself. I don't ...

I'm sorry for the delay, yesterday got away from me pretty fast. Yes, all if that sounds so supremely helpful, thank you. I don't know, I always tried to be so careful so as to not get coldsores but now if I've got them...in feel foolish, and on the outside, like I need to warn anybody around me I'v...

Thank you for responding to me! I had blood drawn Friday so I should know Tuesday my test results. I was previously tested for HSV 2 and tested negative, but this is my first time being tested for HSV 1. Does that make more sense? If needed I can come by Tuesday when I have results. I just have such...

I went to the doctor on Friday afternoon for a new appointment to get established for a new PCP. While there I told the doc about a rash I would periodically get, and currently have, on my upper lip. She took a look and told me it was probably a coldsore. She out in a lab order for me to get tested ...

Oh wow, yeah that does make a lot of sense. Awesome! Thank you so so much!!

Ah, that video was so great! I really identify with the idea of the little stick figure who is just having pronouns or genders sorta "tossed" at them and is like "ok." Because that's how I feel! Not because I'm apathetic but mostly because I can't pick one that feels comfortable....

Wow...that feels like, well, such a foreign concept!! I CAN be judgey of myself, in ways I would never put on other people...but I have a hard time noticing it without other folks helping point it out! I think I can try to accept a period of questioning...of fluidity, even! And just express myself i...

Good morning (at least, where I am!) I've been having a lot of feelings about my gender lately...it feels like these thoughts come in waves, like one week I'm fine being a cis woman and the next I'm like butareyouerallysure???? And this week has been the latter set of feelings. I don't feel like I'm...

I am trying to accept this has gone way south, it's been hard because there are times, like now, when he's offering to let me know if he's upset me and he's apologizing and being really grateful that I let him talk/vent. I'm gonna try to change things, but I think it'll have to be slow because I fea...

That's a good suggestion, I'm going to try and achieve that. I'm worried that he'll ask why I need space and even if I just say "I just need some space" it'll just morph into a discussion and a source of anxiety for me. I feel so silly - I'm anxious talking to him and I'm anxious when I ig...