Hi! Sorry that it took so long for me to respond. My issue with your definition of trust is that that’s exactly how I felt and then it was broken anyway. And my issue with you saying that people live full lives after “life ruining” scenarios is that for me a full life would involve a degree of succe...

Hi, thank you for the reply! Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I think you may have missed a word in your quotation there, I’m not sure what you meant to say. Random question: it ethical to masturbate (and/or watch porn or similar) without telling a partner? I see what you mean about not ...

Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's a common thing even here on Scarleteen to hear about people freaking out that their partners watch porn, so I would personally be a little scared to do anything like that if I were in a relationship, but that's fine. I feel like all I really need is a partner. Re me talki...

Also so sorry for upsetting you, truly. I just happened to check at a REALLY bad time.

Okay, thank you! I'm looking for a response to my August 5 post.

I don't know. Usually people jumping in don't ask for a refresher, so I was just a little confused why you were. Can't you see the thread?

P.S. Sorry if I'm a bit crotchety, I'm a bit anxious today (not about this specifically, just in general).

No, it's fine, I can wait for someone else's reply.

I don't know how long a "shift" is, and I don't mean to sound impatient, but can I check that this is still in the works? I'm totally fine with waiting, it's just that I'm surprised a shift could take over a day and I wanted to make sure that I wasn't completely forgotten.

I see what you mean. The problem is I’ve had incredibly close friends (not romantic, but still close) who I thought wouldn’t leave me for the world but have turned their back on my and badmouthed me for shit I didn’t even do, so part of the issue here is I can’t tell how much affection “proves” some...

That happens to me too, sometimes.

More of the latter - I’ve already been successfully convinced that I’m not “one of them transvestites” (not that such a group actually exists) I’m more concerned about others’ perceptions and potential social repercussions (or maybe even legal ones… somehow, but I’m not sure how that would work).

It’s kind of both - I DO play out worst-case scenarios a lot, but a lot of the people around me seem super judgy, and what with a lot of the moral panics going around today (and you’ll rarely hear me make a “hurr durr both sides bad” comment, but it truly IS on both sides of the political spectrum i...

I think you misunderstand my concerns about explaining my gender identity. My concern is less that I can’t explain it adequately and more that I’m afraid of extremely adverse reactions to it, either because of a poor explanation on my part or, even in the case of an accurate explanation, because the...

No big deal! I’m surprised that you replied at all, I kind of thought that this thread was dead. It’s nice knowing that I was useful to someone!

Thank you for the insight! I see what you mean about fantasies and hurting people. My concern was that if it really WAS just a sexual fantasy (which I'm convinced it isn't), then, even if no one could tell, just from a moral perspective, it would be like parading around naked in public. But you've a...

P.S. Just wanted to throw this in: I think that part of what's appealing about this fantasy is that "being a girl" in the "fulfilling expectations of femininity" sense (which I DO want do do, and I DO have those expectations of myself) seems really frickin' hard both from an obje...

Thank you for the reply! I'm still curious what makes you think my dual (and potentially conflicting) interests in femininity AREN'T weird or bad. This might seem like a dumb question, but how can you (or I, for that matter) TELL that my feelings don't hurt anyone? I feel like my interest is the kin...

I hope jumping in here just as another user and not a volunteer is kosher, but, assuming it is, may I add: I saw that you were worried that you might be a "psychopath" and that really resonated with me because that's a worry that I've had in my past too (it wasn't related to sexual stuff, ...

Hi, Latha! Re: Paragraph 2, thank you for the validation, it means a lot. I feel like my doubts about the "guys who are just attracted to girls don't want to be one" points are mostly settled. I still experience some "want her or want to be her" turmoil but I feel like that's a b...

EDIT: I put this in the "Sexual Identity" topic because I thought that this question was a bit racy for the "Gender" section. Admins, feel free to move it if it's a better fit. Hi! Basically, my question is in the title. I'm a transgirl/genderfluid puddle (not sure which, or if I...

Hello! I'm not friends with abusers. I mean, I don't really have any IRL friends anymore (at school at least), but the friend I was talking about was really sweet so I figured that she was just over-affectionate without realizing the harm they caused. You're right about depression. Granted I suppose...

Thank you for the sappy fistbump! Let me go wash my hands. Typing is hard with sticky hands. ... I'm back! So I didn't actually know that lovebombing was abuse, I had just heard from a friend about a former relationship that they (not their partner) had engaged in lovebombing in. Maybe you can tell ...

I mean that I haven't started dating yet, but I tend to get really attached to people I like (both romantically and just platonically) - see how I still like someone despite not having seen them for six months - and I worry that I'll accidentally end up "lovebombing" or seeming clingy or w...

Thank you. That means a lot. That's a good way of thinking about it. Do you have any tips for dealing with attachment problems?

Thank you! Couple questions here: I've never heard of this actually HAPPENING. Is this a case of "not a rule if you don't enforce it," or are there documented examples of people actually becoming sex offenders for having consensual sex with people their age? And, if so (or even if conseque...