Thanks for the advice. I could see myself getting upset if I can’t get the smallest dilator in because I’m still insecure about having vaginismus but I know it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me as a person.

Yes, I’d like to talk about it. I’m anxious that the smallest one won’t go in because I can’t insert my own finger. I’m also anxious that it will hurt a lot.

Thanks for all the advice! I think I’ll use the first appointment to talk to the doctor and deny a pelvic exam until a future appointment. But maybe it would hurt less because I’ll have been training for a few weeks. I’m anxious about starting to use the dilators.

What would possible accommodations be? I have an ativan prescription and that’s all I can think of,

Thank you, I think that would help. The idea of her inserting a finger stresses me out because it’ll hurt a lot. I’ve tried it and there’s burning pain for up to 20 minutes after. I definitely feel traumatized from previous failed/painful pelvic exams. The thought of it makes me want to cry. Maybe I...

I read part 2 of the article and I’ve looked at recommendations on Reddit. I’m thinking of buying the small set on Intimate Rose. I’d like to learn about advocating for myself at the doctor. Am I allowed to turn down a pelvic exam? I don’t think it’ll be physically possible for her to insert anythin...

I’ve talked on here before about how I had several failed internal exams, and the one time I could actually get a Pap smear I was in excruciating pain during it and for the rest of the day. In the past few months I can’t insert a tampon and I can’t even get 1 finger in with a lot of lube. The only t...

Yeah, I could check their social media to see what events they have.

Thank you both for the advice! My college has a queer organization and there’s an lgbtq community center nearby. I haven’t been to either but I could try. I don’t think I have time to join an intramural league right now but it’s a good option for the future. Almost all of my current friends are quee...

Yeah I’d like that! Just so you know, I’m sober and don’t go to bars or clubs.

Thank you for sending that article; it helped a lot! I don’t have any lesbian friends so I don’t feel a strong sense of community.

I have a very strong preference for giving sexually and I’m not into having my genitals touched. I get physical pleasure from seeing and hearing my girlfriend enjoying what I’m doing to her. I’ve tried receiving manual and oral sex before and it makes me uncomfortable. My girlfriend, on the other ha...

I hope so! I feel like people talk so much about using condoms but protection for sex that doesn’t involve a penis is so unknown and stigmatized. I already get anxious about sex and using barriers lowers the anxiety.

There’s nothing I can do to 100% prevent getting sick again in any sense. My body could even develop another chronic illness for no reason. I’m still gonna take precautions but the desire to make connections with other people and let my gf do the same outweighs that. Sometimes I feel like no one els...

Ok that’s good! I have health anxiety and I worry about getting another illness. But I think that’s outweighed by how much I want to date other people. And it’s really unlikely that I’ll end up dating someone who’s never had any partners before like my current relationship. So there’s always some ki...

Does the HPV vaccine make it less likely to come back irregular? Also my mom never got anesthesia for hers, are you also american?

I have healthcare through my college health center and there’s a planned parenthood very close by, so I would be able to get treatment if I had anything. I don’t want to keep myself or my girlfriend out of experiences with other people. Like if either of us makes a great connection with someone else...

I’m interested in nonmonogamy. My partner and I have been practicing safer sex and we’re only sleeping with each other at the moment. Our practices include: Dental dams every time, nitrile gloves most times (or washing hands right before if we’re not using gloves). We haven’t used toys but we’d put ...

That all sounds good! I can try to see when the queer student group meets next. I really want to meet like minded people.

I feel like I don’t know how to start conversations. I’m on the autism spectrum so I’ve been made fun of before for not acting “normal.” I worry about that too.

I like the idea of ENM and starting to casually date a second person but the thought of it makes me anxious. I wrote about this on the boards several months ago. My gf and I decided that each of us could date other people if we wanted to. I’m very happy with her, but she’s ace and I want the experie...

Could I say something like:
“I know we think about the definition of sex differently and we’ve had different experiences, but I feel invalidated when you say that PIV is the only ‘real sex.’”

My friend and I are both in college. She’s bi and I’m lesbian. She’s only had one partner before, who was a cis man. She and her (now ex) boyfriend did everything but PIV intercourse. My friend said a few times that she’s “never had real sex” and that she’s a “technical virgin.” I don’t know if I’m ...

I can do that. I’m seeing my psychiatrist in a few days. Hopefully he’ll find something but I’ve just kind of given up. I recently read about someone whose friends stopped inviting her on trips because her periods were irregular and they’d cause such bad pain that she couldn’t do anything. It remind...

I feel like there’s always a stressful situation. This past fall was just a combination of bad things: new job, long distance relationship, losing a 2 year long friendship, family problems (including being harassed by relatives over my politics and needing to block them),questioning multiple aspects...