Sure, what is your specific question regarding birth control? Every option does come with pros and cons. And of course, I think what Sam meant by "physically intimate" is if the person asks you if you're okay with a hug, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc. Those things require consent t...

Hi Rose 99, I can understand your concerns, and I just would like to reiterate what Sam said earlier: Until you're in different headspace in terms of your trust of a partner and your comfort with risk, being sexual with another person just isn't going to be a sound choice in terms of being kind to y...

Hi Claire2swag,

Plan B can sometimes cause some spotting, or irregular bleeding. Even without the plan B, there is no possible way you could be pregnant because sperm cannot pass through even one layer of clothing. No worries there!

Hi, MistahCFS! I've been catching up on this thread and I want to applaud you for asking so many great questions! It's great to see folks challenging the dominant culture around sex and relationships. To answer your question, yes, I think "pleasure gap" would be a much better name for this...

Hi Aomi, Welcome to the boards! I can definitely understand why these questions may feel overwhelming to you! I'm so sorry you experienced sexual assault at such a young age. If that's a reason why the thought of being with men makes you uncomfortable, that is totally okay. If not, it's still absolu...

Here's a post on the topic of kinks, and it mentions fetish as well: Working The Kinks Out. You can also use the search bar to find discussions about fetishes in the boards.

Hi Raine, Welcome to the boards! Wow, I'm sorry you had such a confusing experience! It never feels good to be ghosted. Firstly, you did absolutely nothing wrong. Sounds like she wasn't ready to communicate her feelings maturely, so she took the easy way out, which was to disappear. That's disappoin...

Hi Mika.M, There are no fetishes that are inherently wrong or bad. People disapprove of things they don't understand or personally find distasteful, and a lot of people hold the belief that someone's fetish or fantasies determine their character or their actions, which is untrue. Fetishes are a wond...

Okay, I understand! Firstly, I want to make sure that you know that it's very common for people to have extreme fantasies that they would never want to act out in real life, and even fantasies that go against their values. I absolutely understand where the shame is coming from, but know that your fa...

Hi iLilli,

Welcome to the boards!

Just to clarify: the content of your fantasies is distressing for you to think about objectively, or does shame for enjoying these fantasies play a role in your distress?

Hi Ocelot741, Welcome to the boards. Firstly, I am so sorry that he did that to you. I'm glad you've been seeking therapy to process it, and I hope you continue on that path. I want to reaffirm this for you, based on what you've written: you did not consent and he knew that. If you don't remember sa...

Hi Naurmi008, I think it's great that you're in a place where you want to start healing that internalized shame. Did the article Willa shared offer anything beneficial for you? Also, I've found that making connections with other queer people who can relate can be a huge relief. Do you have any frien...

Hi itzxnikki,

There's definitely no pressure to go any farther or step outside of your comfort zone. If it happens that one day you're comfortable exploring more or experience sexual desire, then it happens! What's important is that you feel safe and fulfilled with your partner.

Hi Suomi,

I'd love to help. Could you describe this a bit more? Is this a fetish that remains in the realm of fantasy (imagination) for you, or are you concerned about physically hurting yourself?

Hi looking4advice, Welcome to the boards! What you are describing sounds like ejaculation, or "squirting," which is not the same as urinating. While it appears that this kind of ejaculation is a function of the paraurethral glands (like the Skene's glands) which comes through the urethra -...

Hi Jay27, I'm so sorry that you're having that experience. I can relate, my birth control pills affected my mood in a big way. It sucks! You are still on the same progestin-only pill as before, correct? There are plenty of other forms of birth control you could try that reduce PMS symptoms like cram...

Hi bluespreadsheet, Just did some quick research on this - Keeping the area clean and dry will help, with some mild soap and warm water. Creams with calamine will soothe the itching and burning. Eating fiber before or after your spicy meal can help too, and drinking plenty of water. Also, milk! Dair...

Hi cyprns,

Welcome to the boards!

What you've described do sound like a side effect of the yuzpe method, but given the timing, there is also a chance that it could be a period. Have you noticed any symptoms that usually come with your period (like cramps, irritability, breast tenderness, etc)?

Hi Runmelon51, Glad you were able to get on BC! Birth control pills are effective immediately only if you start them during the first few days of your period, but the emergency contraceptive should have been effective since you took it right away. Like Sam said, you lowered your risk as much as you ...

But there are times when you feel out of control, like you are acting against your own wishes?

To be sure I’m understanding how this is for you, what happens when you want to masturbate, but choose not to? Can you make that choice and just not do it, even if it feels uncomfortable? Or do you literally feel like your hands do things even when you don’t want them to?

Okay, got it. If you are struggling with compulsive sexual behavior, it would be in your best interest to seek treatment from a mental healthcare professional. Is that a service you have access to?

Hi Mika.M,

If I may ask, do you feel that masturbation is interfering with your everyday life, or is a compulsive behavior that is causing you distress? Otherwise, there is no need to control or suppress your sexual desires.

Hi SolarExlipse1, Welcome to the boards! It's possible that overthinking about your vagina or putting pressure on yourself is making it difficult for you to relax during masturbation. Sometimes extended foreplay can help relax the vaginal muscles before inserting fingers, or even having a clitoral o...

Hi Runmelon51, Welcome to the boards! Based on what you're describing, the chance that you could be pregnant is very low. Condom slippages are only a problem if they slip completely off, partly off or most of the way down the penis, but it is safest for him to withdraw before ejaculation. Because yo...