Happy to help!

Hi Sarxzer,

I think that Sofi had a great idea to wash them privately. If you keep your toys clean, they could stay in the same box, or you could even put them inside of a bag.

Hi Wannabevamp, I don't think that joining a dating app would be a bad idea at all, since it sounds like you have a handle on what your boundaries mean to you and are looking for people around your age. Dating apps are a new area to explore, you can find what you like and dislike about them. My only...

Hi telegram, I am so sorry to hear that you're going through this, it sounds incredibly scary. As a fellow trans person, I completely understand your desire to be yourself and use your real pronouns at camp, which I think would be a great thing for you! It sounds like if you make that choice you're ...

Hi Fernstalk, I'm incredibly sorry to hear that you're having this negative experience. Building off of what Hannah said, if you're having sex that is not enjoyable for you, it's probably making you feel worse about it. I would agree with you that internalized shame is the reason you are so self-cri...

I understand that. Do you feel worried that you might objectify someone or come off as predatory? Would it help for me to define what objectification really means so you can see it and say, “oh yeah, that does not describe me at all!”

I think it’s moreso that women are acutely aware of what it feels like to be objectified. Objectification is not a widespread issue for men like it is for women, which is probably why you feel like you wouldn’t feel guilt for being attracted to men. It’s also encouraged as the “right” way for straig...

Hi Shaymie, I hope it’s okay if I jump in and offer my perspective. This is a common feeling I’ve heard my queer friends talk about in their attraction to women. You are not alone in experiencing this! It makes sense in our patriarchal culture that attraction towards women feels objectifying - most ...

Hi Leonor, Welcome to the boards! I understand your frustration completely. There is nothing wrong with you. It can be hard not to compare our own journeys to others, but I want to remind you that you have so much time. You are not alone. It's normal for these experiences to take time, and I can ass...

Happy to help!

Hi agapezara, Not to worry, there is no risk of pregnancy here. Sperm cells are very fragile and can't survive the trip from the penis to the hand to the vagina, let alone the trip from penis to hand to other things he touched and then to the vagina. Nor can they survive after being wiped off. The o...

Hi Wannabevamp,

Glad that worked out for you!

Hi Wannabevamp,

If you're clear about your intentions and provide him the safety to say no, there is no harm in asking!

Heather has an article titled Casual... Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex that might be useful. And here's a quick read about How to Be an Ethical Hookup Partner.

Hi Nat, I’d just like to jump in and say that it’s also completely valid to be more romantically attracted to men than sexually attracted, when that’s not the same for women or other genders. That’s part of the fluidity of sexuality. As someone who is on the asexual spectrum, I too felt pretty uncom...

Hi Astronomywhom,

That sounds like satisfying a normal urge. Compulsion would make masturbation feel totally outside your control, like something you have no choice in, and you feel you have to go through with it even when it doesn't feel good.

Hi Kaualves2,

Yes. Sperm is nonviable in this situation even if the semen still feels wet, it's too dry in the open for sperm to survive.

Hi Brian, No need to worry. In this situation, pregnancy is impossible. There are a couple reasons why sperm cannot survive in water — not only are they all dispersed, but they’re also separated from the fluids that protect them. Even if they were to survive (they couldn't in a lake, the water is fa...

Thank you! Sure, I think it’s a pretty unique experience! The confusion and shame I grew up with while having a kink, but no interest in sex in the traditional sense, caused a lot of inner turmoil for me because I felt like there was something deeply wrong with me. The trauma I experienced navigatin...

That’s so wonderful! And totally! Fat people have been told that we don’t deserve pleasure, especially pleasure from food, and so one of my favorite things is when fat people don’t deny themselves the pleasure that we have always had a right to access in our bodies! When fat folks are able to releas...

Yes, absolutely! When I found out that Scarleteen was a fat positive organization, I was over the moon about it because unfortunately, that’s a very hard thing to find! For users who may not be familiar with fat liberation: Fat people experience systemic structural oppression, and weight loss is not...

Aww 🥰 Yes! For me, it felt a lot like a missing piece clicked into place. I finally had the words to describe my experience, and it felt so reassuring to hear from folks who felt the same way as I did. For example, I remember dressing up as a boy every chance that I got, Halloween, school plays, eve...

Great question. I’m a queer, trans & non-binary person on the asexual spectrum. I’ve known I was queer since early on in high school, and I’m lucky to have grown up in a town with quite a few other queer people and learned that I was queer myself from hearing about their experiences. I was also ...

Thanks for the intro, Heather! I’m a volunteer at Scarleteen and I answer questions about sexuality and relationships on the boards section of our website, and also respond to users one-on-one in real time using our chat feature. I’m so excited to be here for the AMAs! I’d love to be asked about any...

Sure, what is your specific question regarding birth control? Every option does come with pros and cons. And of course, I think what Sam meant by "physically intimate" is if the person asks you if you're okay with a hug, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, etc. Those things require consent t...

Hi Rose 99, I can understand your concerns, and I just would like to reiterate what Sam said earlier: Until you're in different headspace in terms of your trust of a partner and your comfort with risk, being sexual with another person just isn't going to be a sound choice in terms of being kind to y...