dday76: I'm not allowed to leave the house until I'm married :( You've got two rules your parents are imposing on you which seem to be a problem: arranged marriage (at 25) and not living outside the house until you're married. This is in addition to your difficult family relationships. Australian l...

Thanks for clarifying. Australia narrows it down pretty well, ie not india, pakistan, etc. That doesn't diminish the problem, but potentially other solutions are more accessible than they would be. It helps for context at least. I like Heather's idea about putting out more information rather than le...

I think we can presume she didn't want to list it permanently in the obvious spot on her profile and/or she doesn't want to be specific. But since it came up and would help me better participate in the discussion, I think it's helpful to ask. You as staff may know but I don't, and this is open discu...

The good news is your parents care and protect you and you've got lots of free time to focus on things other than boys. That's worth something. Heather seems to be helping you find allies and confidants within the family. That should give you the best emotional support in the short term and the best...

The problem is that i'm not out yet to my parents or anyone besides my best friend and I don't plan to come out until I figure out who I am... How can I experiment without people knowing?? It sounds like you're sure you want to experiment, and that's something. People often use that word 'experimen...

I agree with Edith. You don't have to decide. Just do what feels right (safety first of course). You never have to pick a label, and if you do pick a label, you can switch whenever you like. You might consider picking something extreme. Go all frilly dresses and makeup - traditional girl. Then try p...

not sure if this is elsewhere, but I thought it was a great explanation of consent. No analogy is perfect, but this one seems pretty good. Now I'm going to go make myself a cup of tea.
http://magazine.good.is/articles/tea-ne ... ed-so-good

ok. sorry. I was just cheering on with my feelings about it. no advice intended. I'll keep off the staff boards.

I agree. Nothing at all wrong with the feelings you're having. They're 100% normal and even expected. A person you like a lot is super nice to you and you're surprised you are interested in some romance with them? That's normal not weird. The question is what to do. I've experience and heard about t...

Sorry to jump in, but you might have won the lottery. Rejoice. One of those lucky women who get no period with an IUD. No periods for you ever again. Celebrate!

I think Heather had good insight that anxiety in general may be contributing somewhat to the issue as much as the threesome itself. It might be helpful to consider both lessons. It sounds like you learned something. The threesome was a learning experience and you didn't like it that much. It's healt...

Well I was 21 and no guys IRL ever showed any interest in me, it was either finally get to lose my virginity with someone who I at least knew or lose it to some stranger on the internet which I didn't want to do for my first time. Ideally I would have liked to lose it to someone who cared about me ...

I think you should definitely post to this thread. I think you're asking good questions and getting good feedback. Edith is totally right that marriage doesn't equal consent. There are countries in the world with laws that let husbands rape their wives. One of those countries was the US until recent...

here you go: http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/08/12/sex_in_a_teenager_s_room_evidence_suggests_it_s_good_for_kids_and_parents.html This is media coverage plus a book called "Not Under My Roof" that compares US and Dutch parenting with respect to teens. The idea is that in the US, ...

Mellonhead, I hope you don't run off after one response. Here's a perspective as well. Basically 'no' is the short and simple answer. This is a hard and fast 'no' if you're not the one who decided to get drunk. Especially if you're not in a committed relationship, you just open yourself up to liabil...

Hey TCO, You might first consider telling your mom that her abstinence-only attitude is discouraging you from talking to her. You can tell her that you want to honor her wishes, but you're a kid and you have feeling and things will (not might, will) happen. And that will very likely be during high s...

The fun way to do the math is half your age plus 7. It actually works out pretty well. But I'd say the 'older guy' double standard isn't entirely arbitrary. I'd suggest these objective differences: 1) Guys develop later and so have at least a few years delay in their sexual maturity (in very general...

I think it's helpful to consider how that yes might turn out. 1) They might say yes and not mean it and just go through the motions. Then it's just awkward or maybe they stop half way and then it's more awkward. 2) They might say yes and not mean it and then regret it in the morning. Then you're not...

Also consider he probably had the same feeling. Even with protection, there are a lot of juices flowing around and they can stop up the works a bit. It's not exactly a sexy conversation, but it's a good excuse to be more open about what you're feeling. Openness can lead to all sorts of other good th...

I think your approach now is right: you can't do anything about it. Acceptance is a good direction. Your feelings of anger at society or your parents for forcing this on you are to be expected as well. Acceptance doesn't mean ignoring your feelings, just trying to add perspective. I'm circumcised. I...