Thank you for the tips, Heather, I'll do some more reading on that part. :) And I just want to thank you again for bouncing these thoughts around with me. This has all helped me feel a little more comfortable asking for things and voicing my thoughts, and I think our relationship is much stronger fo...

Okay, so things haven't exactly settled down around here (if anything, they're a little crazier than a couple of days ago, gah), but there has been some changes despite this. Now, I was pretty sure that he had put this whole thing out of his mind for now, so imagine my surprise when I show up at his...

I just wanted to say that I won't be able to answer for a while now, maybe a few days. But I'll take this time to mull over these questions and try discussing them with him whenever he seems up to it. I'll get back with the results as soon as I can.

Honestly, the thought that he's just avoiding accepting that he has a problem sounds much more appealing than him trying to manipulate me into dropping this issue. But at the same time, I guess I shouldn't be jumping onto that as the only explanation because it "feels" better and start act...

And congrats on handing in your manuscript, as well, good job!

I think I can try asking him to leave the initiating to me for a while. It might actually mean that sex is off the table for a long time anyway, since I tend to run against some kind of block when it comes to asking for it, just as I do with asking for anything that I want. So it might be good pract...

Okay, sure, the chat service sounds like a good idea. But I might not be able to know when I can chat or not until next week. No, I didn't feel forced to have sex with him. He just started touching me, and as it got more sexual he caught himself, paused and asked me if I really was okay with it and ...

Hello Ashleah! Thank you for letting me know. :) My boyfriend did suggest taking a break from sex, but then he initiated sex anyway, so I suppose he might have been joking or changed his mind. Sometimes I do find it really hard to work out if he's joking or not. I think that it might be a good idea ...

So it turns out that I had too much other stuff to get back to this before Friday as well. Heh. Well, short update: it turns out that I brought this up in a time when everything else in his surroundings decided to mess up at the same time. There’s a lot of issues in his family which has surfaced rig...

Thank you! I'm glad that I did work up the courage to do this. He still feels that it was good that I did this, but now he's begun to feel pretty sad about the whole thing. He feels like it's strange that our relationship is based on whether or not I get off (yeah, I do think this is an unreasonable...

Okay, well, I brought this up to him today. It was frightening, and I knew the timing wasn't great since there's so much else going on in our lives right now, but I decided that there's no perfect time for these kinds of talks anyway and that I should bring it up while I'm calm and composed rather t...

Thanks for the clarification, Heather, and sorry about your stress. I guess I've been piling onto that with all this. But for now I'll have to mull over these questions and return to this tomorrow. Good luck with your deadlines.

You know, I'm not even so sure sexual compatibility is the right frame for this, because no one is going to be able to be in a reciprocal, satisfying sexual relationship with someone who a) only seems to want a partner for their own wants and needs that are all about them, and/or b) not only isn't ...

Btw, am I getting that this was a first sexual partner for you? [...] So, if I have that right and you want to talk about what we should generally be looking for and expect in honest-to-Betsy sexual partners, feel free to ask away. Yes, he is my first sexual partner. I really didn't have any clue a...

You know, on some level, I'm not at all surprised to see this answer. This has been fluttering in my head quite a lot, the fact that sexual compatability is a pretty big deal and as it stands right now, we're just not compatible in that area. It hurts to see it laid out, and it hurts that I'm basica...

Thank you, Heather, I'm glad I found this place. :) This is perhaps going to sound like a stupid question, but since you didn't say this explicitly in here, I want to ask it so I can know how to best help you: in your sexual life, with anyone, do you WANT a sexual partner who WANTS to have quite a l...

Hello everyone! So I'm in a relationship that has lasted almost two years. I'm very happy with the dude I'm with, but lately something become more and more of a problem. There have been an (alarmingly) increasing amount of times that I've almost felt more like a masturbation sleeve than a sexual par...