Oh I recognise that, and I'm doing my best to break it. I'm doing my best to allow myself to fail miserably and make an idiot of myself occasionally. When I was very, very, very anxious and had suicidal depression, any social faux-pas was world-ending. I asked a guy out once and he said no and I fel...

I do know what you mean. I'm possible the least patient person I have ever met, and I've known me my whole life so that sets the bar pretty high! When things fail consistently, sometimes I just to throw in the towel completely. Like, I've been a singer my whole life -- since before I could talk -- a...

Thank you for your response, Heather! Yes, I have considered these things, and they all seem like serious detractors when they're laid out like that. I could give a counter to each one of those, but I realise I'm here for a good impartial viewpoint. From a personal perspective -- as I've spoken abou...

Yeah I've been thinking about that too: could I be the object of someone's affection if they're that attached to me? He's always gone for women are emotionally unavailable for manipulative, and I think his level of 'clinginess' -- to use a horrible term -- is directly proportionate to the level of s...

Thank you for your response, I think for me the reason that he has become attractive to me is that we have a good foundation of friendship: we confide in one another about life in general, our very disastrous dating lives, but also he helped me a lot when I was suffering from depression. Like, he's ...

Hello all! Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out. First off, talking about these things fills me with all the embarrassment/shame feels, but that's not a discussion for here: I'm just terrible at talking about dating and stuff :3 So, I've had this very good friend for about 4 years...

Apologies for the late response! It's been nearly two weeks since you replied, and a lot of fairly interesting/unexpected/upsetting things have happened. I hear you on the motivation of go-getterness. I was brought up in a very achievement driven household, even though my mother denies that she ever...

Heather,

That's okay! I'll be here

Oh, I know that whole narcissism blindness thing: I'm like that too. I find it really, really, really, hard to spot narcissists. The thing is, they're not always big and bombastic: in my experience, most the narcissists I've ended up with are kind of shrinking violets, who wouldn't be making a show ...

It's grand: I hadn't fully explained it. Yes! I'm happy to be having fun with a guy again. It's early days -- just meeting for drinks and having conversations -- but it's nice. He's originally from the States, so our conversations get very interesting. I'll respond to your post so it'll be waiting f...

Heather, Yes: I'm on the waiting list for the Rape Crisis Centre in Limerick, but by the time I get an appointment I'll be living in Galway, so they recommended I get an appointment with the Galway RCC as soon as possible, which would mean taking a day off work to travel 2 hours to Galway for a cons...

Stephanie, I'm slowly doing things to make myself feel better, but it's slow work. Like, yesterday I decided to do one small thing -- I decided to assert myself in a relationship where I feel disrespected -- and afterwards I was so depressed I felt like throwing myself off the bridge (although, it's...

Stephanie, and Sunshine, Thank you both for your responses! It's always very nice to come online and see a reply waiting for me, plus I'm liking having somewhere where there are hugs waiting for me, too ^_^ The problem with our health system is that most mental health services -- whether specific or...

(I'm not 100% sure that actually answered your question: it was more of a ramble =3)

Redskies, Yes, those experiences did have a profound effect on me growing up, and continue to do so. But the issue I now have as an adult is not knowing what is 'gut instinct' and what is 'over-thinking'. Anxiety has a habit of messing with your mind. I'll take and example. When I was in the early s...

Redskies, Yeah it's been pretty difficult, but I'm grateful for the resource that you guys offer! I suppose when you put it in those terms, I realise that maybe I give myself too much of a hard time over my input into relationships. My emotional baseline is "it's my fault!" pretty much con...

Heather, Days off are a precious resource: make the most of it! ;-) Thanks for your response! I think for me it's just helpful to have somewhere that I can hop ideas off people to help clarify my own thoughts, and that's why I find this forum helpful. It's good to have an environment where these top...

Thank you, I appreciate the hugs! I don't get many hugs so I'm always grateful of one ;) For years I went to therapy sessions that were all kind of general and vague, and as such weren't very helpful. Recently I had an initial consultation with the Rape Crisis -- where they told me the waiting list ...

Redskies, Oh I understand there's nothing wrong with the many unusual ways that people express their sexualities. When I'm not a nervous wreck, I also like some fairly peculiar things. But as you say, it's the context that makes them enjoyable. I have a habit of going for abusive and exploitative me...

Heather, I know the bath thing is a fairly flippant topic, but I have however found introducing a time every week where I just turn off my phone, lie in nice bath with aromatherapy bubbles with candles, and watch a movie on my tablet has done wonders for my mental health. It's like a little oasis of...

Heather, I don't have the same associations with activities that I find sensually stimulating, like nice warm baths and eating nice cakes (both of which I do often, and sometimes in conjunction) because those are solitary activites: they don't involve a second person, usually. Processes that are par...

Sam W, I've always had issues with masturbation, even before being assaulted. When I was a teenager I didn't explore myself for years because I believed it was shameful and dirty, and each time I masturbated I would cry and feel like the worst human being in the world. It was only in my early 20s th...

I don't know if this is a no-go topic or not, but I'm going to risk it. For people who have been following my threads, this probably won't come as any surprise, but I have significant difficulty with exploring myself, but the issue is quite specific (forgive me). I can't get any pleasure (or climax)...

Onionpie,

Haha! Yes, we as a nation of people are feeders, especially the women! I can't have anyone in my house without at least offering them some tea and a biscuit XD

Thank you all for your input! I think this issue has been vented effectively for now

(Also, I have a technical question: If I have a thread here that's still ongoing, can I ask another question elsewhere that's not related to this topic?)