Hi there, doorknobby. Take a look at this piece here, where you can read about what risks fingering and other activities present: Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That? Sounds like you also could stand some accurate information about how pregnancy happens, period, and you'll find th...

I'm not a big fan of the word "normal" in nearly any context, because it can be pretty misleading. In this case, what's meant when people say that isn't actually about whether painful periods are common, so much as that there's not really an anatomical reason for them to be painful most of...

Oh, it was okay to post it here, it's just that providing direct help with mental illness and its symptoms isn't something that any of us are qualified to do in this medium. Even if we were, we'd be unlikely to be able to help you as well as your own therapist who you are you are working with, and w...

Oh gosh, any number of things. For sure, if you were tense about this, relaxing could be one thing that made a difference. So could things like subtle adjustments to the angles of things physically, a different time in your cycle, or -- and I'd say this is most likely -- having a different mindset w...

Hi there. Since what you're reporting sounds like it's much more about OCD and obsessive thinking than it is about sexual orientation, this is really outside our scope and abilities. The right person to talk with who could help the most would be a mental healthcare provider you're working with on an...

I'm happy to talk a bit about the more theoretical part of your question -- why is menstrual pain so widespread? -- if you want, Jay, just let me know!

Naumi: let's circle back to the thread open where Sam has asked you some questions and see where that gets you. I also think that in order to close the door on the pregnancy scares and the conversation about them, you'll need to finish making the kind of plan, with the intention of enacting it, we h...

Max: it might also help to know that at certain times in every fertility cycle, the cervix is also lower/closer to the vaginal opening, than at other times. It also usually pulls itself back when and if you're sexually aroused.

I'm sorry it sounds like you're in an all-around tough spot right now. What do you think about just thinking about all this on your own right now while you wait on things settling down on the whole? Maybe even having fewer in-person hangouts with this person for a little bit so you can focus on all ...

Hey there. (I don't like or use the phrase "tough love" because it originated with a very deceptive and abusive theory about how to parent "unruly" teens, one that I personally experienced no less. None of what I'm about to say is that or anything like that.) It does sound to me ...

Hey there, naurmi. We had some confusion behind the scenes with our team this morning in terms of your posts. Before we move on to this next, and huge issue, I'd like us to go back to where we were in our conversation before this. It can be very, very difficult to try and process and work on more th...

Done! Just FYI, the place you had originally posted is marked as a space where ONLY staff and volunteers can reply, so if you ever want to post something you want open to the whole community to answer, not just our team, be sure to post it in one of the areas that isn't marked that way. <3

Hey sky. I am just seeing the discussion here regarding insurance (and since I was last in the thread, period), and I just want to remind you of something I talked with you about in chat some time ago. You could get access to healthcare through either permanent or temporary disability, both of which...

I certainly understand. Can we try and talk that through a little? If you actually don't enjoy being together or work together without there being anything sexual, and we already know that the sexual stuff isn't great for you, then why would you *want* to stay together? In other words, if all those ...

It's no big deal. But I can move it for you, if you'd like me to!

Thanks for telling me those things. I know they can sometimes feel bad to feel or to share with someone else, so thanks for extending trust around those shares, too. Even physical and emotional pleasure we get from sex itself can last long past the moment, but for that to happen, we tend to need the...

Let's go ahead and stay in this thread, okay? It's what got us to the point, after all. :) Sometimes it's hard for us to keep up with a user who has many topics and threads. How about you maybe get the ball rolling here by just first filling me in on what your motivations for being in a sexual relat...

Hey there, naurmi: I did want to add one thing in here that I think might be coming into play for you based on this post and what I am seeing in some decisions across a few posts right now. One thing that being sexually abused is very strongly associated with are survivors then feeling like their se...

Hi again, naurmi. I'm sorry to see you're still having such a hard time with this. One thing I know from working with people in this kind of pregnancy scare for decades now is that the way you're approaching this not only often will not help this kind of anxiety except in the very short term, it act...

That soap should be fine -- and even just water by itself is fine -- and just be sure you're only ever washing the external portions of your genitals: don't try and wash inside the vagina or anus. I'd also be sure your undergarments are all cotton -- nothing synthetic -- and that your clothing is lo...

I am so, so sorry, swimminginspace. I've been in a similar spot that you have earlier in my life; I had to leave my primary home and everyone in it when I was around 15, and that meant leaving my sibling and stepsiblings, as well as all my extended family. I still had my Dad, and thank goodness, but...

I'm so sorry you have to keep dealign with yeast infections! So, the thing about those is that those more often start *inside* your body than from external things like hands that aren't clean with masturbation. What it sounds like to me is that you may keep having infections because your infections ...

Good morning. :) So, those last two questions are questions you'll want to bring to a healthcare provider. Do you have a reproductive/sexual healthcare provider you can see? If not, would you like help finding that kind of healthcare? In terms of your pregnancy concern, can you tell me when you took...

Hey, ellie. I'm the founder and one of the directors of the site and its services. I've been keeping up with your posts but I haven't been able to engage with them, and I want to be honest with you and let you know why. It's very clear you have a lot of internalized bias against a lot of different g...

To the best of my knowledge, you don't have much experience with dating, so if anyone did ever do that to you -- give you the impression that they paid for a date so you need to have sex with them -- I would consider that the exception, not the rule. I'd also suspect it has more to do with who you c...