I would by all means say that people who still hold that opinion -- that people have to be a certain gender to ask people out -- are holding a very, very outdated opinion. Some people do still think that silliness, but if we didn't do things because someone looked down on it none of us would ever do...

Hi there, sky. Given what you have said throughout this post, and what you and I already know about your fears around sex, I would personally suggest hanging out in a way that's more like a first meeting: not at anyone's house or apartment, somewhere more public, and not with any expectations on any...

I am just seeing this, and I am so, so happy you got to have this experience of community! I literally just cried with joy for a minute.

Hi there. So, you're right, it probably isn't anything medical. Not everyone likes every kind of sex, or finds every kind of sex to be exciting and satisfying. Some people -- whatever kind of genitals they have -- are into intercourse, others, not so much. Like other kinds of sex, what a given activ...

In case you (or your Mom) want additional help besides what we can offer you here, or more local/culturally relevant information, I also wanted to make sure you knew about the two hotlines for sexual abuse in Indonesia listed here: https://findahelpline.com/id/topics/sexual-abuse <3

Hi there, naurmi. I'm so sorry that you have had these experiences of sexual abuse and grooming. While I think it's loving as a daughter that you are concerned about your mother's stress, I would go ahead and let her take care of herself here, including managing her stress, and let her be your paren...

Okay. So, I do think it's worth thinking about that if she is still in your home and hurting you, SOME kind of intervention might actually be helpful. Something, for instance, like a therapist talking to your parents about how it might be best for you for them to ask this adult who is doing you harm...

Hey there, UnicornKitty. I don't want to step in too much, because Sam will be back tomorrow, but I do just want to share one thing with you. I think far fewer people ask other people about their intimate relationships and that history than folks might think. More times than not, when someone is ask...

Is your sister still living in the house? If not, then if you make that clear from the start -- that this person isn't living with you anymore -- that should take care of that. I also think it's always a good idea, just so you can make your own informed choices, to ask a therapist what their protoco...

Hi there. It's okay to have preferences. That doesn't make you a bad person. But we do want to remember when we're talking about body parts that those parts are attached to people and think about what that means. <3 I do want to start by saying that the term "fetish" and the sexological fr...

Hi there, Rainy Oxygen. I think that there's a different, and better, way to look at this than looking at it as a numeric age difference. I think the better and more accurate way to assess this is to look at the level of emotional and social development and life experience people have had. We also a...

Hi there. This is so hard, when friends get caught up in new romantic or sexual relationships -- or other kinds! -- and it sounds like you basically have a double-whammy here. I do have some thoughts, you can let me know if any of them work for you. The first thing is this: I would suggest that you ...

Hey there, forest_wave. I think that what you're asking in this last post is for sure something to bring to your partner in the larger conversation you're going to have with them. It may well be that something that feels right to both of you is finding some middle ground where you're getting more of...

Mila: it sounds like last time the specific gynecologist you saw didn't feel like a good fit for you, or they just were not great, period. Can you choose a different one?

Hi there, Glorious. I think one of the central things we tend to learn through experience with relationships is to check in a lot with our feelings and trust them. So, maybe we can start here: how are you feeling with all of this, including the things you specifically posted about? Is anything not f...

Just because you two are so worried -- and certainly, if you didn't use any method of contraception -- I would suggest she take one in a few weeks if she still wants to then. So, any bleeding we have from any kind of wound in our bodies can clot. And when we get any kind of injury -- even something ...

Hi there. So, chances are the bleeding is from not using lubricant or not using enough of it, and also two nervous people having intercourse in ways known to cause minor injuries, like her saying yes despite not being turned on enough yet, and you pushing in because you didn’t know not to do things ...

It's okay, my understanding everything is not on you! <3 So, this is one of those things where someone else isn't likely to be able to tell you that. Instead, this is something where we are most likely to figure it out by just experiencing and observing our experiences and feelings over time. The go...

You know, it's not actually weird for the desires to be sexual (be it alone or with partners) to wax and wane like you are describing: that's perfectly normal. It's very common for people to have times of high and/or frequent desire, and times of low or infrequent desire, and that can happen day to ...

Good morning, Silly.

I'm having a little bit of trouble identifying the questions you've got with this. Can you write a few of them out for me separate from that post? What help are you looking for with this for us? Thanks!

I would disagree that you are unhelpable, nor that what you've said here means you are not a candidate for some of the kinds of therapies that might help here. I'm still happy to help you look for a sliding scale, queer-friendly therapist to help with this in your area, or virtually, if you would li...

Hi there. So, when we're not talking about making reports or courts of law, I think it's generally best to try and identify these things based on how the people who experienced them feel. I want to offer you a few things that I think might help you think through this for yourself: 1) When we talk ab...

Hi there, brandii. Ideally, we don't want to try and self-diagnose and treat any kind of infection unless there's just no other option. Let's see what your options might be first, and if there really isn't another way, let's at least help you be as sure as you can be about what this is and the best ...

I hope both of these go well for you this week, dollparties!

Hey there, acearohonda. I’ve been keeping up with your thread, but this is the first time I have popped into it myself, so hello. Like Sam brought up, I do think it sounds like for the most part, the help that you’re looking for is something a therapist is going to be able to better provide than we ...