Just a quickie: all those oils up there are *not* okay for using with anything going inside the vagina. For those, you want to avoid Vaseline and any other petroleum products, baby/mineral oil, other oils that don't break down, or any other oils like massage oil that have things added to them and ar...

Hey there, padparadcha. Welcome to the boards. Before I say anything else, I just want to validate your feelings of frustration. It's not an overreaction to feel upset or frustrated when we are trying to experience pleasure and can't. You get to have those feelings! If it's okay, I'd like to see if ...

I do want to just pop in and add that we actually know that asymmetry is the norm with bodies, not symmetry. What you're noticing not only is common for people, period, it is probably even the case for some of the people you are looking at and idealizing. We are all usually much more intense and con...

That sounds like it's clearly about something emotional. Since chemically, the opposite would be happening, chances are that's about the kind of stuff that tends to leave people feeling that way, namely, shame. Do you have any sense of what those feelings are about? Have you experienced them in any ...

It might also be helpful to know that it's typical for how we experience sexual response to change all the time throughout our lives: from day to day, week to week, experience to experience, life phase to life phase. Things that create those changes are pretty much every part of life: sleep, if we h...

Hi there. Since you feel so nervous about this, and the last pregnancy test seemed to reassure you, sounds like you might benefit from taking one again. Can you do that for yourself? Periods can skip or be later than expected more than people realize, and more often than not due to things besides pr...

What if some of the other things you can do can also be social? Like, what about: • volunteering for something that involves other people • joining some kind of team, be it sports, gaming or something else • connecting with some kind of queer youth group/community? I also want to weigh in on how it ...

Hey there, Soph. I appreciate you trusting us to share all of this. I wonder if it might help to start by realizing that literally everyone alive is vulnerable, even those of us who are also "tough" or confident. Those things aren't mutually exclusive or at some kind of war with one anothe...

Hey there.

You know, it sounds to me like you want to know if you have any lasting issues from that injury, so why not go ahead and make an appointment with a healthcare provider who can assess that for you?

I really like this portion of this larger piece, too, Silly: https://www.scarleteen.com/the_sex_godd ... xual_shame

Hey there, florence. So, the first thing I'd say is that ideally, anyone we pick as a partner to be sexual with in any way should be someone we have built trust and comfort with, and who we know we can count on to be cool even when they might think something is weird. We can't ever really do (or not...

Ha! So, here's a link that describes lovebombing and other behaviours common to emotional abuse in relationships: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault_relationships_etc/the_quiet_voice_how_i_stopped_listening_to_emotional_abuse I can't say whether your friend's behaviour was abusive or n...

Absolutely! Also, it's not like anyone is required to provide an orientation or words for their orientation to anyone, ever. Identifying with a sexual orientation is a lot like identifying with a given culture or faith: you can do that if you want, and you can opt out if and when you want, too.

I've been sappy my whole life, so here's a sappy fistbump for ya. :) I first want to make clear that lovebombing is actually part of abuse: it's a lot more complicated, and is also about control and manipulation, not affection. We can talk about any concerns you have about emotionally abusing people...

Hey again. When you say it stings, can you describe that sensation a little bit more? Does it sting like, say, getting lemon juice in a cut? Or does that "sting" feel deeper, rather than on the surface? Is there anything else you've experienced that might be related to this? Do you have ve...

Hey there, Cerulean, welcome to the boards. You know, being with people is often one of those things that often gives us more information about our orientation, but it's rarely the core information about it. In part, that's because gender groups are made up of millions or billions of people, and mos...

Can you be more clear about what you mean? Do you mean that you tend to get attached to people you are dating before you've really built something to be attached to?

Hey there, LightUpTheStage. I think it might help to know that it's actually pretty common when dating to have a lot of misses compared to the number of real matches we have. We also are not at all likely to be able to fit all of who we are and what we want in any kind of relationship into a few tex...

So, before anything else, it sounds pretty clearly like you don't want to become pregnant. Unprotected sex obviously isn't a choice in alignment with that. Have you talked with your boyfriend about this and made plans to change the way you've been doing things? If not, do you need help with that? Ap...

Hey there. So, there's actually no one kind of "actual" sex, to start. There are so, so many ways that we can be sexual -- and when we are, that's us engaging in sex. Masturbating with a vibrator, for instance, is actual sex. People massaging each other's bodies as ways to express their se...

Happy to help.

Hey there. So, you know, if you're not really feeling it when it comes to being sexual, it's fine not to be. In other words, you don't have to try and come up with things to turn you on to be sexual with yourself. You can instead simply let those things show up when they do, and then be sexual in re...

Sure. I am mostly not at work this week save with office work because I'm trying to get some rest, but if this is time-sensitive, I can schedule a time in the next few days. When is good for you?

Hey, whispermae. I’m happy to talk with you.

When you’re next here, fill me in and we can get started. <3

I love this topic! Totally here for walks, especially with my dogs, who are very, very happy about the warming weather and all the new smells. I'll also start working on my back porch container garden as soon as I can! I geek out on this just like everything else, so I want to broadcast that some ba...