Hi there, Newtothis, and welcome to the boards. I want to just start here by telling you a few things. 1) Very few people will experience a lot (and many won't experience any) of pleasure just by putting a finger into the vagina. The same goes for penises or toys. The vagina all by itself isn't very...

Same! And this is certainly welcome here: we were one of the first sources of this kind of information to make it inclusive and to try and get others to do the same, so we certainly get it!

I also want to check in to see if they verified that what you indeed saw were clots. I say that because menstrual flow doesn't usually clot: it just both isn't all blood and isn't that *kind* of blood. More often, when people think they are seeing clots, they are instead seeing flow mixed with thick...

Hey there, aulikeevan05: Just a reminder per our user registration agreement and guidelines that: a) It's not okay to post personally identifying information about yourself or others here, like a full name or address. b) There aren't other ways here on Scarleteen besides the boards for users to conn...

I'd love to hear what you think about the Gawande. I hope to read it soon, too!

Sure thing. Using that term doesn't mean someone's info is outdated, just FYI. Some places do still use it, especially if they do or have served an older population, or they want to be sure to catch people looking for help or info who do only know the older terminology.

I also just want to pop in to let you know that HRT, as a term, will often pull up hormone therapies for menopausal people, or just older information since it's not the most modern term. That "R" was always a problem, since the idea that hormones can be "replaced" or need to be (...

Hey, Crow. I don't mean to leave you hanging! I just had a feeling that some of the missing each other might be because I'm not the best fit for you for any number of reasons. Sometimes that happens! So, I have a shoutout to other staff and our volunteers here to see if one of them can pick this up ...

Hey there. How about we pick this up in one of the two threads you've already started about this?

Those are:
• viewtopic.php?f=5&t=12417
• viewtopic.php?f=5&t=12486

I'm so sorry if I'm not hitting the mark here, and I can understand why you're feeling the way you are. Here's one thing I can say with complete certainty: if you are having ANY kind of sex that you are not going into feeling a lot of desire to be doing whatever that is (and I don't mean a desire to...

Hey there, welcome to the boards. So much of the time, pleasure is way more about what's in our heads than about what we are doing to or with our bodies. Just touching our bodies won't necessarily be pleasurable or even all that interesting unless our heads are really in the game. Even when we're ju...

I really appreciate you putting so much effort into trying to get clear on this with me. I hear you on the "too much." It definitely sounds like if and when that happens, it isn't something you can kind of bounce from easily, and like it is upsetting for you. That given, I would ignore som...

Thanks so much!

Which did you find? I'm curious!

I have a little to say about #2 there, and then another question. I would actually posit that trying to create rigid boxes for what is and isn't sex is often a barrier for people trying to just find out what they want and like. If we didn't live in a world that made sex so loaded, including within r...

Thanks again, this is helping me get a clearer picture. I'm sorry to keep asking you questions, but I have a couple more, if you don't mind: 1) What if you two simply are exploring any of this together -- physically in the moment, not intellectually ahead of time -- and you do find a given thing ove...

I appreciate that. This can all be really complicated even in the simplest iterations! So, when I talk about being sexual, what I'm talking about are ways your actively express and explore your sexual feelings, alone or with a partner. That can certainly include genital sex, but it both doesn't have...

Thanks for this. So, it's interesting to me that I hear you saying you mostly have a desire for touch and more general pleasure but the only thing I'm seeing you say sex is for you is genital. Does your sexual life together not include other ways of being sexual, and touch and sensation of your whol...

I also really want to thank you, thanks to you I learned that something like death doulas exist and then after some research I realised how profoundly important part this kind of care can play in people's life. And I'm a little ashamed that I never thought about all this before. Probably because th...

Hey there, Crow. I wonder if you might fill us in on what "having sex" looks like for you? In other words, what does it involve? Do any of those activities, whatever they are, feel more or less pleasurable and fulfilling for you? Can I also ask what your motivation is when you choose to in...

Using condoms feels different than not using condoms, and the idea we can put that on a more/less continuum of pleasure just doesn't really square with the diversity of our experiences. There certainly are some things that can make it so that it feels less pleasureable for most -- like not using lub...

Something a lot of people don't realize until or unless they have had a few sexual partners is this: EVERY new partner is a first time if we're doing it right. Let me explain: because all of our sexualities, our bodies, our lives, our vibes together and more are all so diverse and different, no one ...

Sure thing.

Is there anything else I can help you with right now? If not, you're welcome to circle back here anytime, be it to talk more about any of this, or about something else.

If it helps to know, I'm a 52-year old lifelong allosexual and I even work in sex and sexuality conversations. And yet, I by no means feel comfortable with the way anyone and everyone talks about sex and their own sexual lives.

Glad to be of help! By no means does what you're asking about make you a hypocrite. Just because we're okay with sex or sexuality in one context doesn't mean we have to be in another, or we're somehow doing something wrong. Too, being okay with your own masturbation doesn't mean that you -- or anyon...

Thanks for sharing all of this with me. This is helpful. You know, I don't think there is any hypocrisy here, because what you feel and want in your own masturbation has literally no impact on anyone else. It doesn't impact the asexual community, it doesn't impact anyone else who is asexual and/or r...