Thanks for being so candid. :) So, don't mean to do reruns here, but can we circle back, in light of all this discussion, and revisit if you DO actually want a sexual relationship with this person? Not if you want to want to - which, about anything, is usually something that describes feeling like o...

Got tied up with other things today, sorry about that! On my list for first thing tomorrow!

Glad to hear you are looking to care for yourself better around this. :) Are print books something you can access? And, if you have looked through all our content on the site about bisexuality as well as orientation, can you fill me in on what gaps you would like to have better filled from those add...

Hey, we live, we learn. :) I would be happy to talk with you about that. Can you fill me in more on where you think your partner or partners are not doing it well, or where you feel you aren't yourself? In other words, what gaps are you looking to fill in with them, or what parts of consenting do yo...

Happy to help! :) Might also help to remind yourself that from all I can gather just from your posts and interactions here so far? You're pretty awesome. And I imagine that you're someone who is probably pretty awesome to be with in any relationship, so it's not like someone hanging out with you or ...

Have you called into your prescribing GYN and taken the first step by asking them about this, as they are the ones with your health history to reference? FYI, breakthrough bleeding isn't what it sounds like you're assuming: that it must be happening because there are not "enough" hormones....

Am I also getting it right, by the way, that you are saying that where things changed per feeling connected was when you understood what was really going on, and that those initial feelings of connection you thought you were feeling were actually NOT connection at all, but you being pressured and ma...

Okay, so it sounds like perhaps we know at least something bound to be an issue, which is having your whole sexuality tied up in someone else, rather than having a sexuality that also is absolutely your own, and not tied up with that other person or relationship. That doesn't have to mean watching p...

Straightening underwear and shorts probably does not involve sticking your fingers inside your vagina or rubbing your vaginal opening, right? If not, what you're describing, even if there WERE fresh ejaculate in your hands, doesn't include the kind of direct contact needed for pregnancy to even be a...

Can I check in with you about how you are feeling per your sexuality that has nothing to do with your partner? In other words, things like your own masturbation, your feelings about your sexuality as not related to your partner (or perhaps even any partners), and your own feelings of desire and arou...

Btw, for any fellow sexuality geeks in the house, while I am normally very bored with most sexuality blogs, this one always has things I did not know about, or know details of. It is some seriously delicious deep geekery. :) Http://www.notchesblog.com (It is not in any way porny, btw, for those who ...

I think that's perfect. I feel like relationships, and what they turn into, really have much more to do with plain old timing, and then what ends up feeling like the right kind of relationship for people as they get to know each other. What we want and are looking for matters, too, but really, we're...

You got it! I'll have a list for you sometime tomorrow.

Any preference when it comes to online vs. print?

When people aren't expecting a period, and are only seeing light spotting right after, or a couple days after, intercourse, what that usually is is bleeding due to vaginal abrasions, which people get sometimes when they are having intercourse too roughly or hastily, without enough arousal, or withou...

I wonder, too, if it might help to revisit what KIND of relationship you want with him. After all, there are a lot of ways of spending - or aiming to spend -- a lifetime with someone. To have that with each other, our relationship doesn't have to be a sexual one. It can be, but that's just one of ma...

As well, know the breast changes -- both visible and not -- occur through all of life. There will tend to be far more of them during adolescence, but it's not like your breasts (or any other part of your body for that matter, though with breasts there tends to be more constant change than with some ...

Well, we're certainly happy to talk to you about it, but if you otherwise have a good relationship with your therapist, I think that would also be a good person to talk to. I do not think it's creepy to bring up topics like the ones you have here with a therapist. They're pretty core for most people...

You are so welcome! I'm thinking the best place to start might be to see if you can't be more clear -- with yourself, in our communication -- about what makes you uncomfortable about having a sexuality. In other words, why do you feel like having that part of who you are feels less comfortable than ...

I'd also be sure that whatever you are finding has been working for you when it comes to socializing with other guys? You bring those same things to socializing with women. Really, there aren't different skills when it comes to engaging with people of any given gender based only ON gender. For sure,...

Is this your prescribing doctor for those meds? If so, it IS within their license and education to address possible sexual side effects of your meds or the conditions they are treating you for, as it is with any other side effects. Given your other answers - especially since they make clear arousal ...

Before anything else, has using a lubricant and doing so ething to relax your body first - like deep breathing or a hot bath, for example - made any difference with this, be it tampon use or masturbation? If we are talking about an issue with the hymen, that tissue is normally super-stretchy, so jus...

I am sorry to hear that, that screening really is standard practice no matter someone's sexual history. :( Sounds like, too, this clinic then probably did not make clear that STI screenings are an essential part of preventative care for anyone sexually active or who has been, regardless of whether o...

This may well be something where we really cannot help, alas, but let me check in about a few things just in case. - Do you have any other issues with pain in general, or would you say you have a very low pain threshold? - When you are trying all of these things, do you feel a string ohysical and em...

Yes. Safer sex reduces infection risks, it does not eliminate them, alas. The risk is much lower with most infections, but there still always is one. But it is standard practice for providers to do an STI screening before an IUD insertion because of the big risks IUDs can pose if someone has an infe...

Unexplained bleeding, at any time, is one of the most common side effects of IUDs. This may well only be that. But, for sure, your healthcare provider is the person to check in with to be sure, especially if you worry you may have PID, or - because you express that concern - are not current with you...