Hi 42! So glad you've found the resources at the public library - and will have a bit of money of your own too! Massive UGH to your parents trying to control how you act and dress. I do get why this might feel like a big deal. Even if you wanted to wear dresses and heels and make up and have long ha...

Hi! So I think there are two things going on here - the anxiety (and maybe shame?) you're feeling about accessing or wanting to access this content, and the feeling of impulsiveness around it. I think we could talk about that anxiety and shame if you like, but you've asked about managing impulsive f...

Hi Jo809 If you're seeing it, then it's definitely possible! In general, yes, the amount of blood that's trapped in the penis when it's erect often leads to changes in colour. In some ways it *is* constricted - the veins taking blood out of the penis are squished closed when you're erect, which is w...

No problem - we're here if you have more questions! I wanted to add that moving your body is a great way to relieve stress - you get a rush of endorphins and feel-good chemicals when you get your heartrate up that way, just like you do from masturbation. That might be going for a run or a bike ride ...

It means ejaculating directly onto the genitals.

Seconding Carly's point that it's important to ask them what words they like, but wanted to also offer "theyfriend" as an option I hear used!

Hi Estobawk, Sorry to hear you keep losing what you've written, that's really frustrating! I usually find that if that happens to me, hitting "back" gets me back to the post with the text I've written. Other options are selecting and copying the text you've written before you hit submit, s...

Hi again Jo809, I promise you there really isn't a standard amount of hair to have around your genitals - whether you have a penis or a vulva. Perhaps you've seen a lot of images of shaved genitals in porn or the media, but in real life some people have long, natural hair, some people shave everythi...

Hi Jo809, So early ejaculation is counted as anything less than 1 minute, so 5 minutes is totally normal! And your longer sessions too are not especially out there. It does sound though like you're ending up sore and frustrated when you spend longer on masturbation - we can troubleshoot that some if...

Hi Sandpiper, You've clearly been doing your research and taking the time to reflect and understand your body. I'm sorry it's taking so long for you to be able to find good professional support around this. Since you're asking for personal experiences, I can relate to the tight jaw and shoulder - I ...

Hi crowcaw73 I can hear how much thought you’ve put into finding the words that feel “right” for you, and imagine that it feels kinda sucky to hear other people describing feelings of gender euphoria when you’re mostly feeling neutral. I don’t have new pronouns to offer you. What I wonder about inst...

Hey hiImcrocheting :) It sounds like you've got some ideas about how you might like to describe your gender - like non-binary for example - which you can start to try out for a little while. As you start trying this on, I wonder what the difference is, for you, between feeling like a woman but not w...

Hi Sienna! Welcome to the boards :) So if by tips you're asking for specific masturbation techniques, then we talk about the range of different ways people masturbate right here: Going solo: the basics of masturbation . We can't get much more specific than that because, well, every body is different...

Hi blblblbl! You know, the instinct to ask your T prescribers about localised estrogen might be a good one. On T, your vaginally tissues become thinner and less stretchy (known as "vaginal atrophy", which I don't love), which makes them a lot more prone to irritation amd small tears - whic...

I'm sorry that you're in such a hard and unsupportive place with this right now. I hear how much you're trying to figure out the best way for *you* to act to make this feel better, but ultimately the responsibility lies with the people around you to be respectful, and get your pronouns right if they...

Hi Raffles, I can really hear the frustration here! So many mixed messages, with people asking your pronouns and then not even respecting them if you do share. I can hear the discomfort of feeling like you're lying too. The thing that's really striking me in your question is that sometimes there *is...

I'm so glad you've found this conversation helpful! We're absolutely still here if you want to talk any part of this through some more

Hi Tameletjie,

Glad to hear it What would be useful for you right now? Do you want to share a little of what you've been thinking about around gender, or for us to share some resources with you, or...?

Hi Cherry, I'm so glad that you found the conversations here helpful, and I'm especially glad that talking with Blue went so well. What a lovely message to read! One of the really cool things about relationships is that you can build them into any shape you want - and that includes having all the ro...

You're right, there definitely IS a point in starting to make those small steps that will one day help you build towards making bigger ones. You don't need all the answers at once! I wonder if finding out more about how to set up a bank account that your parents can't access would be a good start? P...

Hey Sam526687, I totally agree that letting yourself be patient and figure this out is a great approach here. There's a reason I leave my sexual identity and orientation as "figuring it out" on here. I have a bunch of ideas about what words do and don't suit me at this stage in my life but...

Hi Ilovecats, Welcome to the boards! The chat times are all here , and the easiest way I find to convert between Pacific time and UK time is with a timezone converter like this one [/url]. The converter takes care of daylight savings so you can just put in e.g. "London" and "Pacific&q...

Okay, well the good news is that you can have all sorts of sex and intimacy based on the things that you do enjoy - all that external stimulation that you've been enjoying for a while now. You don't have to do penetration if it doesn't feel good for you. Maybe fingering feels weird because you're no...

Hi Onyx, This sounds pretty off to me. When you add in your parents past behaviour, this could be more manipulation or attempts to control you. What did it feel like to you? I don't think that there is anything specific that you can do about this specifically - either to convince them that you are s...

Hi Theansweris42, It's okay to turn to other people when we're working things out sometimes - especially when it's people like us who are here for exactly that. The links Elise sent were our article called "on the rag", an external site called cyclesavvy.com, and a book by Chella Quint cal...