That does sound like an incredibly anxiety-provoking and all around stressful experience to have had with your mom, and I'm so sorry that she reacted to you making the choice that felt right for you--and that was yours to make--around a sport. Are you two still living in the same space? Or are you a...

Hi lexiee, So, what I want to focus on is the fact that you know this isn't how pregnancy occurs, but that knowing so hasn't gotten rid of the anxiety. When that happens, it's generally because there's something else going on that's leading us to worry we're pregnant when there simply isn't a chance...

Hi Bumpkin, Some people who are not pregnant and who have not recently been pregnant may indeed lactate. It's not particularly common, but not exactly rare, either. If you suspect that is the case what you'll want to do is see your doctor and have your prolactin levels checked (prolactin is the horm...

Nope, you have the right idea! Are you able to come in during the hours this morning (it starts at 8:30 am PST)?

Hi Enphery, It may also be helpful to read up on the ways porn does--or, more often, does not--reflect people's day to day sex lives. These two pieces are great starting places for that: Making Sense of Sexual Media , Sex on Screen: Reality-Checking Mainstream Porn . Too, if you want to talk about w...

Hi Elusian, So, unless your mom is handwashing your underwear, it's unlikely this is going to be noticed in the first place. But even if it is, it would be very hard for someone looking at underwear to tell dried ejaculate from dried vaginal discharge, so in the event she did comment on it, you coul...

I'm so sorry that those experiences have basically left you with the habit of internally policing yourself to the point of such intense fear. That's an incredibly frustrating thing to deal with, and when it's tied up in trauma it can for sure be harder to unlearn or, at the very least, quiet down. I...

Hi Rue, In addition to all the good advice Cat gave, I want to point you toward this piece from our Trans Summer School series that might help you make sense of how you're feeling: Trans Summer School: So I Think I Might Be Trans. Now What? . Going along with that piece, a helpful question to ask yo...

Hi gortiz, If there is clothing present, then this being ejaculate instead of pre-ejaculate does not change the risk. And unless someone ejaculates on a hand and then that hand is immediately placed in the vaginal canal or on the vulva--a movement that's going to be deliberate, not accidental--then ...

Hi blu_envy, Oof, having someone overhear you having sex is certainly a peril of living with other people! One thing that may help you gain perspective on all this is that, if we're both a sexually active person AND a person who has a lot of shared living situations over the course of our lives, the...

Hi Enphery, I actually think the answer to the question in your title is a simple one: you grew up with a concept of sex that lead to you viewing women who engaged in it as less than human. Which means that, when you're confronted the fact that women you know and care about are probably having it, i...

I do think you have a very clear-eyed picture in some ways of what's likely happening with your parents, and of the fact that when you're the youngest sibling, you do have the ability to observe what older siblings do and see how things play out for them, including how your parents react to them. An...

A new piece from guest writer Emily Wilson on how vulnerability is a necessary part of pleasure!

How to be Naked in More Ways Than One

Hi Ren_eh, You know, a decent family therapist could actually help your parents with that thing you're describing, because part of doing family therapy is looking at the dynamics between everyone involved and going "hmm, okay, this element of the dynamic is off." So they'd very likely noti...

Hi jkimgust, In addition to what Kier said, I want to add that it's incredibly common for a period to arrive a few days later, or earlier, than expected. And that three days isn't even really considered a "late" period because of how common that variation in arrival time is. Too, depending...

I'm so very glad I was able to offer you a new perspective and help you with all those feelings you were carrying around this. If there are other things we can do to support you, or you have other questions down the line, you know where to find us <3

Hi aaa, I want to start by saying I'm sorry that all of these experiences are tangling up inside you and making you feel this way. There's a lot to unpack here, but I want to start by addressing the last incident first. COCSA does indeed capture instances of sexual assault between teenagers. In fact...

I'm glad I was able to bring some clarity to that! And yes, like we were talking about earlier in the thread, boundaries in relationships are about things like how we and a partner treat each other, or the structure of the relationship, rather than about what goes on in our own minds.

You're very welcome!

Hi sakamoto,

Nope, you do not need to take any supplements even if you masturbate frequently. While semen contains certain minerals, even frequent ejaculation isn't going to result in large enough quantities of them being lost to pose an issue.

I do think that, given what you're describing, a lot of this ties back to the anxiety you're working on, and that the more you're able to address that, the more confident you might feel in some of your other emotions and identities. Too, I do think it would be worth talking with your therapist the n...

You know, I think it speaks to a lot of self-awareness on your part to have realized that some of this is about wanting to avoid discomfort. That doesn't me as all that childish an urge, more like a human one; I think most of us would prefer to lean away from discomfort and stay in the space where w...

You're very welcome!

Hi heylola12, From the sound of it, you may indeed be reaching orgasm, since you feel that build up and then a moment of relief or release. If you haven't read it before, this article gives some helpful context to what an orgasm generally feels like, so you can see if it matches with your experience...

Hi Skybushh, I do think boundary check-ins are a good thing to do, especially if you're feeling unsure about where a specific boundary is. A caveat to that is that you'll want that conversation to be about behavior and actions one of you might take, rather than on the fantasy element of this situati...