Goodtrouble, "I have questions! Kier! I would love to hear what your favorite tips are for young people navigating sexual healthcare, particularly, in terms of how to feel more comfortable, safe and able to be honest with their providers! "

Kier, I also have a question for you that popped up when I was putting in your bio! Can you talk a little more about what patient advocacy for queer and trans folks looks like?

Hi Everyone! Happy Pride! I'm Sam, one of the co-directors here at Scarleteen. And I'm so excited to moderating this AMA with the super-rad Kier, one of our volunteers! Kier is a genderfluid, AFAB, queer person living in Chicago! Their pronouns are she/they and they identify as neurodivergent. They ...

I'm glad you and they were able to have that talk; if nothing else, it sounds like the kind of communication that parents and kids would ideally be having around high-stakes life stuff in other cases. I do think they have a point in that taking a pause--especially with so much in motion--might benef...

I'm glad my response was helpful! I do want to add that you weren't being "stupid" or anything like that; you were a kid yourself, trying to make sense of a piece of media you really did not have the needed context for. With that conversation with your brother, I think one starting place m...

Sadly, you're right that for a lot of people, it's far more convenient for them to ignore a dangerous or abusive/potentially abusive situation, especially if they're under any outside pressure to do something that acknowledging or investigating that abuse might interfere with. But, as you're learnin...

You're very welcome, and I'm so glad we, and I, am able to be an ongoing support for you. I'm also so glad you were able to get in contact with someone who has experience as a foster parent but also experience with having to push back against a pretty busted system. And good on you for tracking down...

Hi wheely.tractor, I'm sorry you're carrying so much guilt around this, and I hope that we're able to help you put some of it into perspective. From what you're describing, this sounds far, far more like the kind of sexual exploration and curiosity that we know is a common part of children's sexual ...

Hi Rose, In addition to what Andy said, and building off something Kier said in their first reply, if you're trying to get some clarity on this, focusing more on the kind of person (or people) you could see yourself dating or being sexual with or that you have enjoyed being sexual with in the past, ...

I'm glad to hear you were able to utilize some of those self-help techniques! And it's great to hear you'll be able to access mental healthcare through your college.

Once again, I am torn between wanting to congratulate you for how on top of this you are, and all the ways you're thinking three steps ahead in terms of protecting yourself and anger on your behalf for how you've been treated. It does sound like you're already developing a plan for getting out and s...

I'm so glad talking with both of us is helpful! I have a few resources in mind for learning about how trauma impacts out brains and how that can play out in both our emotions/thoughts and our bodies: https://www.unco.edu/assault-survivors-advocacy-program/learn_more/neurobiology_of_trauma.aspx https...

We're I someone's supervisor in this case, I'd be having a few words with several people for how they're handling it. But I'm not, and I'm talking with you, not them, so we'll leave it at that. I'm so sorry that your concerns continue to not be taken seriously by the people who have the power to kee...

Hi Jellyfish, You're for sure welcome when the chat is on today! We talk with folks about things that aren't explicitly connected to sex all the time (think relationships, sexual orientation, body image, etc), and so far in chat I haven't noticed our conversations being outside the scope of what we ...

I'm glad you're getting some support through therapy! You're right that the trick your ex used is really nasty. It's also really, really common. Saying "I'm not abusing you, YOU are abusing ME" not only lets them deny what they're doing, it helps to further warp the other person's sense of...

I'd say being field flexible is quite the trait to be proud of, if for no other reason that it encourages curiosity and engagement with lots of different ideas, which I think is a net positive. Also, what on earth, I am so sorry a resource told you they "didn't deal with spectrums." Even i...

Oy vey, I am SO frustrated on your behalf, though I'm glad it seems like your foster family is increasingly willing to push back and raise a fuss to keep you safe and keep you with them. I happen to agree with them that taking you out of a loving, stable home and putting you in a group home is only ...

Hi Emma,

In addition to what CaitlinEve suggested, can I ask how sexual interactions between you and this guy generally went? Were you communicating a lot about things like positions, or how things felt, or talking before hand about what you each liked or were excited to try?

You're welcome! I'm so glad to hear your partner is supportive, and that you feel able to talk about this! I'm so, so sorry to hear that your experiences with formal support networks have been so lackluster and downright unhelpful. Among other things, it doesn't sound like attention was paid to any ...

Hi S88, I want to start by saying that I'm so sorry that multiple people in your life made the choice to abuse you, and that I am so, so glad to hear that you're now in a relationship where you feel safe and supported. There are a few different things I think could help you let go of the guilt you'r...

So, with the burning sensation, it's not necessarily a sign that the vaginal opening can't stretch further than two fingers, since the vaginal canal can actually stretch/expand quite a bit to accommodate things that are inserted. I do think it's worth trying some additional, store bought lube to see...

Thank you for that context, it's really helpful! Can you say a little more about what doing dating the "right" way looks to you? And when you say you've seen friends enter meaningless relationships, what about them seemed meaningless? Was it just that they ended? With masturbation, if you'...

Hi Rose, I'm so glad the conversation you're having with Ellie has been helpful! With the concerns you laid out about the various methods, it sounds like the IUD or Implant, and maybe the Shot, might be your best bets. With the Shot, some of the risks, like the cholesterol, are manageable (and if yo...

Hi secretlyawolf, Before I dig into the heart of the question, I want to separate out the concept of "bottoming" from the concept of "dominant." Bottoming is, at it's core, about the mechanics of sex, whereas dominance is about the dynamics of a sexual interaction. So, someone co...

Hi Rose! We're happy to answer multiple threads from the same user, especially if they're on two unrelated topics! So, when you've tried inserting fingers, how much lube were you using? I ask because, if there's not a lot of lubrication present, inserting anything into the vaginal canal unlikely to ...