Hi Flush, The only way for her to know she is pregnant is to take a pregnancy test. I think you (and she, if she wants to) need to give this a read: The Pregnancy Panic Companion Since it sounds like you're only using pulling out as your method of birth control, have you considered a more reliable m...

I think a way of framing those worries is that you weren't faking, you were doing your best with the information that you had at the time. Woman felt right, and it was the what you were being told that your body and lived experiences equated to (and non-binary identities are not super well-known, so...

Hi JB, I'm hoping some folks who are less cis than I am can chime in here as well, but I did have some thoughts. One is a digital high-five for, as you started feeling that "woman" may not entirely describe your gender ID, exploring things like presentation and pronouns to see what fit and...

Hi aj2234,

No, the irregularity isn't cause for concern, just a side effect of coming of the pill. As for changes to breasts, yep, that's one of those things were it's going to vary from person to person.

Hi annabanana, Here is the list of things that interfere with BC. It might be helpful to use that as a basic reference when wondering how much you need to be concerned about a certain substance: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/something_you_can_worry_about_less_interference_and_hormonal_bir...

Hi Sappho, Ah, I totally follow (and we were just checking to make sure it wasn't here, since that's something we definitely don't want in this space). And yes, I know I have had the experience of reading something in a space that I thought was friendly and going "yikes." I think that's on...

Saliva does provide some lubrication, but many folks find that they still need some additional lube. Too, for oral sex, dental dams and condoms (which come in flavors!) will help as well.

Yep, that kind of lube You can find it at most drugstores (like walgreens, target, etc) and can buy it if you're under 18 (things like astroglide).

That might have more to with you not finding oral sex that pleasurable, so some of your natural lube goes away.

Hi olivecon, There are a couple of things going on here. One, especially with the manual sex, could be a lack of lube. Even if you are aroused, many people find that adding in more lube makes penetration more pleasant. Something else is to slow down and do even more foreplay prior to trying manual a...

Okay, so if you feel that the guilt over your choice is what's driving this, there's a few things to consider. One is that you made what you feel to be a mistake, so instead of beating yourself up over that, focus instead on a plan for how you will avoid making that same choice in the future. Then, ...

Periods can be irregular, even when you're on birth control. And, it's possible that the bleeding you thought was breakthrough bleeding was your withdrawl bleed coming early.

When you say you feel more responsible for a poor decision, could you explain a little more what that means?

You're welcome :) If you think it would help, you can also take some time to think about whether or not there's something driving this pregnancy anxiety (e.g beliefs or worries that are making it hard to accept the results of the test). Sometimes, if we can work out what's behind an anxiety, it can ...

So, you've done the sound thing and taken two pregnancy tests. Assuming you took them according to the directions, you can trust the results. I'm going to give you two pieces to read that I think might help you right about now:
The Pregnancy Panic Companion
Self-Care a La Carte

Do you think there is one person, out of all people, who you are meant to be with above all others? Or do you think it works differently than that?

I understand, just wanted to check and see if it was an option at all (since it would make things easier on you).

Hi Brit, From what I can gather, your best bet may be to go to a clinic to get access to birth control. If you're concerned about confidentiality, you may want to talk to the place you plan on going ahead of time to find out the rules and policies they have around that. You can also get a prescripti...

So, at this point, if you're concerned you have two options: you can check in with a sexual healthcare provider, or you can take a pregnancy test and get a clear answer that way.

Sounds like a good plan. I can't diagnose via internet, and it's possible that this is just come heavier than normal discharge. But it could also be a symptom of an infection. You can read about that in more detail here:
Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions

Hi busylizzie,

You did the sound thing and went to the doctor when you were worried, so high five there. At this point, your best bet is to do some self-care to help you calm down until you get the results.

Are you and your partner up to date on your STI tests?

Hi Kuraimuin,

I'm sorry you had such a stressful day. And yes, I think the odds are good that something else is up. I'm going to give you this article, and you can see if anything in it strikes a chord with you:
You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You think You Are?

Hi musicnerd, I feel you on the feeling like flirting is a language I don't speak thing. Something that helped me was realizing that my way of flirting did not necessarily match the standard expectations of what flirting looked like (to this day, if I try to flirt in a classic, feminine way, I look ...

Hi Cottoncandy, It's totally within bounds to have a little tuftiness on your bikini line when at the beach, if for no other reason than most people, generally, won't actually notice. They're all busy paying attention to their own body hang-ups/playing in the water/ this cool rock that they found on...

Hi Tonasa,

Yes, it is most likely part of your period, but we can't diagnose it via internet. So, if you're worried, checking in with a doctor is a good move