Okay, I think it might help for us to circle back to the beginning and refocus a little. What, as of now, would be things that we could do to help you? And what are things you are willing to do to try and help yourself? Too, if you'd like, we can talk about some ways to keep closing channels with th...

And then what would happen? That may sound like an odd question, but their emotions are theirs to deal with. So, if all that happens is they would be worried, but they wouldn't stop you (or might even help you), that's not the worlds worst outcome. And, in truth, we cannot go through life letting ou...

I see. If it's possible, would you be able to explain how you getting help or taking care of yourself would hurt the people you care about (also, are those people friends? Family?). I mean, given his behavior to you during the relationship, this was not someone who ultimately had your best interests...

I know how that feels hawley-smoot. It can feel like, sometimes, if you could just keep the image of being okay going long enough, things would actually start to be okay. But the hard truth of things like this is that, no matter how hard we're trying, the unhappiness and hurt shows (and the process ...

We'd love to hear your thoughts!
http://www.scarleteen.com/node/7719

I want to take a little detour here to ask, is this kind of dissatisfaction or decrease in pleasure happening elsewhere in your life?

Hi namlop, I think something that might help with masturbation, and be translatable to partnered sex, is to do some experimentation or exploration of your body and what you do and do not find pleasurable. That be just taking your time and trying out new motions, positions, or sensations (and some pe...

Hi Hawley, I will say, it says something about the quality of that relationship that many of your depression symptoms stopped once this person broke up with you. Finding a counselor who you mesh with can be tricky, and sometimes you do have to try one or two before you find someone who works for you...

Hi anon082,

Yes, one of the side effects of Plan B is that it can create irregularity in menstrual cycles.

The thing is, we can't tell you about the next few years and what they will be like (as much as I wish I could predict the future, I can't). But, one thing I can say is that we have users in this space who have been around for years, and who we've talked with through multiple events and life changes...

Okay, we've given you quite a bit of info and a lot of stuff to process all at once and that can be super overwhelming. Something that might help at this point is to take a few days (or as much time as you need) to sort of process and think through what we've talked about, and then decide how you'd ...

Hi hawley-smoot, I know the instinct to blame yourself for what happened is strong. But believe me (and Johanna) when we say that, from where we're standing it doesn't look like your fault. That might be something to keep in mind when those thoughts come up. That's not too say that how you're feelin...

So, between now and when you have your next partner, it might help to work out what about porn/fantasy would be translatable to an actual interaction (certain dynamics, positions, activities, etc). Too, I think something that might help is to when you are masturbating, start being mindful of how you...

Okay, so in those sexual interactions, were you and your partner engaging in stuff where you were able to express your desire to be submissive? Or did that not enter into the interaction? If it hasn't really come up before, that may be part of why you're not finding yourself particularly turned on. ...

Hi Namlop, Okay, so if you're someone who tends to enjoy being submissive, then there might be some difference in the pleasure you feel (especially mentally) when you masturbate vs with a partner (it can be hard, after all, to replicate having someone dominate you when you're alone). When you've bee...

Okay, that's still on the physical end in a lot of ways. In those memories you have of those physical things, do you have a sense of what your mind and emotions felt like at the time? Too, let's take it a step back and talk about pleasure in general. With things (that aren't sex) in your life that y...

Hi Namlop, You're right that if some of what you're experiencing has to do with not recognizing what's happening as arousal, then the underlying issue has less to do with getting the feelings to happen and more to do with how you're reacting to those feelings. I think it can help to take a step back...

Hi Icantthink,

If you haven't, I'd start by reading these pieces and seeing if they clarify things for you:
Get With the Flow: All About FAM
Honorably Discharged: A Guide to Vaginal Secretions
On the Rag: A Guide to Menstruation

Hi namlop,

Just to clarify, is this sensation occurring while you're doing something sexual (either with a partner or on your own)?

So, we'll be launching a new section of Scarleteen soon, one that's aimed at parents. Specifically, we want to create a space to talk with parents about what their teens wish they knew/would do (or not do) around sex (and that includes things like body image, relationships, and sexual orientation/ge...

Hi celica, I'm going to quote Heather from this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/what_do_you_want_to_know_about_periods_and_sex "a period has you shedding the lining needed for a fertilized egg to implant in, and because around the time a period starts, there usually is not an ...

Hi whatacath, First off, I'm sorry for what happened (both the initial abuse and the trigger). Those are sucky feelings in so many ways. I think, if it's not something you're already doing, seeking out a therapist to talk about this with would be sound. It would give a trained person to work through...

Hi Ashley, We have a guide to how to use fertility awareness method here, if you're interested in it: Get With the Flow: All About FAM If you are having pregnancy worries, we ask that you start out by walking through this article: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodies/the_pregnancy_panic_companion

Ah, I see. I think a part of this may be that she's having trouble adjusting to the fact that you are growing up, and are hitting the point where more and more of your decisions (big and little) will be made without treating her view as the final word. But, whatever her reasons, it's still not pleas...

Hi muskratsunshine, I'm glad to hear that you two were able to talk in that way, even if the realization you came to was not a happy one. It can be incredibly hard when someone we love (and someone we view, in a way, as a caretaker of us) is struggling with depression in this way. You want to help y...