Hi everyone, As some of you may have seen on our social media channels, after 11 years I'll be moving on from Scarleteen to enter the field of death work. I wanted to leave this post to say thank you to everyone who's been part of our awesome Scarleteen community over the time I've been here, and be...

Hi Maxwell,

No, this situation does not pose a risk of pregnancy. Sperm are fragile, and they cannot survive being transferred from penis to hand to vagina, let alone being wiped off in the interim.

Hi whitelies,

Okay! Here are some pieces to get you started!

Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?
Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide
The Pregnancy Panic Companion

I would ask her about that if she's comfortable talking about it. She may know if there are things that aggravate or help the situation that you might be able to either avoid in incorporate into time together.

Hi MountainMix, I actually think this might be a time to not say anything. It sounds like your friend knows this is an issue, knows you and her other friends are concerned about it, and is planning to speak with a healthcare provider soon. So, if you do want to talk with her about this, a way to go ...

Hi veronica37111, So, while we can't say there was NO risk from this, the risk that there was is low, and you've done what you can to minimize it as much as possible (you can see the effectiveness of withdrawal, which is what you functionally used, and Plan B here: The Buddy System: Effectiveness Ra...

Hi veronica37111, Since you're only noticing them now, I think it's very unlikely that these cuts are from oral sex you performed several days ago. We can't really say for certain what they are beyond that, though if you notice they aren't going away or they get noticeably worse, that might be a tim...

Can you go back and read those articles I've linked to you so far? There are answers to your questions in all of them.

That's correct, yes. You can read more about why that's the case, and what's actually needed for a pregnancy to occur, here: Human Reproduction: A Seafarer's Guide

That doesn't change the fact that there wasn't a risk in the first place. Too, a lot of what we think of as "pregnancy symptoms" can actually be cause by a number of other things, and you can read more about that here: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul As a next step, ...

Hi Iamie_28, Nope, you cannot have become pregnant from this incident. When there's at least one layer of clothing present, let alone four, there's no chance of sperm being able to get through into the vaginal canal. If you're still feeling anxious about this, I suggest going through this article an...

I agree that deleting the tinder account was a good step! Right now, it sounds like it was just another source of sadness, rather than something that was leading to connections you felt really good about. I do want to say that there's nothing wrong with wanting to love, and be loved. It's not sad or...

Hi veronica37111, From what you're describing, it sounds more like you noticed some of your own vaginal discharge, which can vary a bit in color and consistency throughout your cycle. You can read more about that, and about times when odd discharge is cause for concern, here: Honorably Discharged: A...

A new, brave first-person piece about long-term interpersonal impacts of living in familial abuse: Hurt: How Familial Abuse and Neglect Impact my Other Relationships

Hi MoriaFlower, I promise there's nothing wrong with you. What you're describing is actually a really common experience! The reason for that is because the vaginal canal isn't all that sensitive, especially once you get past the first third of it. So a lot of people find that internal stimulation do...

Hi Sky, So, in these last two posts, you've hit on a lot of points. Here is a summary of my understanding of the main ones: -You're still conflicted about the fact that to have a relationship means opening yourself up to the potential to be hurt, and feel sex is some way of getting around that risk ...

I'm glad what I said was helpful! In terms of telling him, I think being honest while being kind is likely the way to go. You can say you've realized that this just isn't the relationship for you anymore, or something similar to that; that makes it clear that things are over, but also puts the empha...

Hi Nat, I'm actually going to tackle your last question first. Nothing you've described in this post, or in our other conversations on the boards, suggests that you're "too sexual" for your age. Honestly, I'm not a fan of the concept of someone being "too sexual," because so ofte...

I'm glad Latha's advice was helpful!

If masturbation is pleasurable for you, another thing to try is incorporating the kinds of touch/stimulation that feel good during masturbation as part of partnered sex, since you know it's something that generally feels enjoyable to you.

You're so very welcome. If you want to talk a bit more about what that overthinking might be attached to and some ways to address it, that's also a conversation we're happy to have.

Hi allninelives, I'm sorry that this is causing you so much distress! I think a helpful starting point would be to try and unpack why having enjoyed reading about these kinks is such a source of shame for you. Do you have a sense of what those feelings of shame are attached to? Is it about having li...

Hi 1111.mar, I'm sorry this has been causing you so much shame and distress. Hopefully discussing it here will alleviate that some. From what you're describing, this sounds very much like the kind of sexual exploration and curiosity we know to be common for young children. In other words, it doesn't...

Hi Sky, I'm going to focus on the dating app stuff, and the meeting people stuff, because everything else right now is steering that conversation back towards the theoretical rather than the concrete. Being vulnerable is scary, especially when it's something we're not used to doing in a certain cont...

Hi Bubblegumkid, I'm sorry things have been so rough, and that dating overall has left you feeling pretty drained and pessimistic. There are a few different things going on here that I want to address, and hopefully some or all of it will be helpful to you! The first thing is the situation with your...

Hi PomPom, With the moment when the build up seemed to stop, was it followed by you feeling a release of tension, or by the vibrations now feeling like too much? Too, I do think the main issue here is that you started out unaroused AND built a situation where you're determined to orgasm no matter wh...