You're so very welcome, and I'm glad talking here has been helpful for you. If you want to update about this situation or ask more questions about it down the road, you're welcome to keep posting in this thread. Hi there, It has been over a month since this post, and about 50 days since I moved out...

Thank you very much. This discussion has been helpful to me. I was wondering, if there are significant updates on this situation in the coming months, such as if I find myself in a confusing situation and need a second opinion, am I able to write it here on this post or should I make a completely ne...

Yes, you pose good points. I’ll have to mull a lot of that over while I’m taking this time for myself. In my mind, I had the idea of having a deadline trying out that kind of arrangement which would, yes, effectively be almost no contact but still together. I wouldn’t tell him about it, but just so ...

If there is a chance he can address and resolve his issues, I don't want to break up the relationship. I don't mind being distant, living without him etc. If I can help it, obviously I don't want to leave him. As I said in my first post, I love this person, and in my mind he's more than just those a...

Thank you for such a thoughtful response. It is comforting to hear that I've done something right, since it all feels like chaos around me right now and I have no idea what I'm doing. To your question about whether there is hope that he'll change: previously what I had based my hope on was the fact ...

My partner and I (in our late twenties) have been together for 5 years and living together for most of that. Things in general have been great - our morals, values, life vision, humour, ways of thinking all align. We have chemistry, a good bond, both reliable people etc. We still laugh together. The...

Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years, we are in a serious relationship and live together, both late 20s. We get on very well, but early on in the relationship he did something that really upset me. If it wasn't for the fact that I hadn't drawn a clear line in the beginning of the re...

Hi, I'm really sorry if this is so off-topic from the website but I have no idea where to ask, and I do frequent this forum often (even as a lurker). My partner and I moved into a new flat a few months ago, and we live in a big city so the place we were in before was absolutely terrible and surround...

Hi Milkybarlife, I hope you don't mind me jumping in with a few thoughts here. I understand the hesitancy to attach a sense of purpose to you work or your career, especially when you fear that the attachment is to the idea being valuable rather than the work itself (which is a little bit what it so...

Before anything else, I want you to put this new Kesha tune on repeat: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXyA4MXKIKo Maybe for as long as we're having a conversation here, maybe for hours, or days, or even weeks. Trust me on this one. I think it may well be your perfect musical anthem/mantra right no...

Although this has happened with many of my exes before, it didn't matter then because at the time they truly were wrong for me. But now this same thing is beginning to happen with my current boyfriend and, as there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us, I am starting to realise a pattern - and my o...

Glad Sam was able to help you think through some of this. If you want any help around initiating a conversation about compatible sexual values with your boyfriend, just say so. :) Thanks so much, Karyn! : :) That might be helpful actually, as I don't want to start a conversation in which he feels s...

So, to make sure I've got this right, it sounds like a big part of what is bothering you about this particular type of porn is that it feels very intimate and "real," which makes it feel like he's forgoing something real (you) for something else "real" instead of another type of...

Thanks for filling me in, that helped a lot. Before I say anything else, I want to note that if him continuing to watch porn is a dealbreaker for you, then it just is. Everyone gets to have their own limits and boundaries and wants and needs in relationships. Too, if you decide - today or next week...

...Having written all that and with you asking specifically what I don't like about it - I realise that I actually would be okay with him watching other porn, if it involved like two people and not focused only on the girl. I don't find that as threatening, because I don't find that personal, and if...

Welcome to the boards, milkybarlife. So, I have a couple of questions to start, just to help me get a better idea of what you might be needing here. You mentioned that if he was fantasising or watching porn about partnered sex in some way, you'd find that easier to understand: I'm wondering if he w...

I'm in a relatively new relationship - we have been together for 7 months now, but our relationship started after only 10 days of knowing each other, so the length of our relationship is also pretty much the same as how long we have known each other in general. We knew very early on how well we get ...