Hi FanndisTS, I just wanted to chime in here. I think you are handling this in a really compassionate way, and that is something that unfortunately, survivors don't see a lot of, so it's really wonderful to see that. An important thing I'd like to say is that it doesn't have to be just one conversat...

For me, I felt the "free lunch" dilemma big time, particularly when I was younger and I didn't have access to a regular source of income. I would get allowance, intermittently, from my father. It wasn't a regular thing, and I would save from my past city excursions. I internalized that mod...

I think a large part of it can be having no good models to accept critique and to be self-reflexive in our culture. So there can be something really threatening and scary about hearing a no, especially when it intersects with things like toxic masculinity (as we can see from the "nice guy"...

I also think this double standard is heavily culturally influenced/reflected back to us. Seeing older men with younger women is really normalized in our culture. I saw a chart a while back on NY Mag about how when men start their film careers, their love-interests are the same age, but as they age, ...

I really appreciate Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt as a survivor narrative. I also read a great article about it by Emily Nussbaum that kind of expands on that tack, that link's here:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/03/30/candy-girl

Dear tos3, I'm really sorry to hear that you have to be in close proximity to your rapist, and that, on top of that, you have to be around a verbally abusive parent. It can be difficult to be in that environment and not internalize those messages. I've found personally that immersing yourself in oth...

Dear Brave1, Thanks so much for creating this thread! Since I spend a lot of time on the computer, I find that watching videos of cute cats really helps when I'm in a mood. I also really like Jeffrey Marsh's Vine account; he has a lot of wonderful positive affirmations that make me feel better about...

Hi Brave1, I'm really happy you've been able to identify trends in your life and you're starting to be able to articulate what safety looks like for you. That's a super-important step towards recovery. I'm also glad you've been able to get some external support in the form of therapy. It's really im...

I'd also like to stop in and say thanks for updating us on your situation. I'm glad things are looking up for you. Having an outside support group is really helpful towards having a direct lifeline towards the resources you need, and it's a brave action to seek that out. Another important thing I se...

For those of you that have experienced abuse in the past and are processing your experiences in those past relationships, what patterns have you noticed in those relationships that you now can identify as unsafe? This thread is intended to be a space where you can share your process about seeing tho...

I really love this thread, too! A lot of my friend-dates are centered around getting food, which is partly out of necessity since I buy most of my own meals and they're all based in the city. Less frequently, they'll be centered around making food, which I find is often wonderful and healing. The ma...

Oh, man, I really need to watch Adventure Time, just in general. So many amazing GIFs on Tumblr challenging linear relationship scripts. I'd like to speak more to how the lack of these scripts have the potential to create anxiety. I wonder if all this coverage about social media and kind of having t...

I'm really happy to hear this too, Infinitea! I think when memories of the abuse take up less mental space, that's definitely a good sign.

As someone who used to be on this specific forum asking for assistance, I'm really appreciating this as a space where people can come back and share their growth, since day-to-day it can be hard for us to see and observe for ourselves. I can personally say I feel like I've grown a lot. I'm doing cog...

I still don't have access to my PMs, either on the receiving or sending side! And I think I've hit the newbie post quota, so I don't think that's the issue.

There are so many good books that I have either read, have had recommended to me, or are lying around my house waiting to be read! :D If anyone remembers me from the old boards, you probably know that I have been going through it these past couple of months. Thankfully (and in large part due to this...

I would be very interested, both in creating time for a practice and what some things you do to help calm your mind are. I think it'd be an excellent resource for a lot of people on the boards!

I've finally become comfortable using menstrual cups, but it took me a long time. I'd never put anything inside me before and I was really scared (I came from a sex-negative family, and despite my father being a doctor, they were both convinced that tampons were only for "loose women"). I ...

I think right now, I've just been focused on not assigning a label to myself and just focusing on having partners that respect me. Right now, the simplest way to condense my orientation is "everyone but cis men," just because that's felt the most unsafe for me after my assault (as well as ...

I really appreciated reading the piece, Heather, even though there were some parts I wasn't ready to read or integrate into my life or practice yet. I think for me, it's still taking some time. The most important thing for me to remember during this time has been that healing isn't linear, and just ...

I actually like my breasts a lot. I used to worry about them a lot because my aureolas are quite big, and all the breasts I saw in movies, etc., were small and pink, but I feel more comfortable now because they're an average size and they don't hurt my back. They have small little stretch marks on t...

I usually will eat something nice, and I have been trying to exercise to ease my cramps! That's been helping a lot. I used to associate my period with hibernation and generally just being away from the world, but a nice part about getting older is having a lot more control over what menstrual produc...

I was thisisnotascreenname39 (and my display name was: The Definitive Po-Mo Username!).