I'm glad to hear that you resolved things! Sometimes friends who genuinely care about each other can have different communication styles and different levels of contact/communication that they consider ideal, and it can be a challenge to navigate a healthy relationship with those differences in mind...

Hi there, Emm5, and welcome to Scarleteen. It's hard to answer questions about virginity, because it's more of a cultural concept than a medical one; there's no one universally-agreed-upon definition of what virginity means. If to you, "virginity" means "I have never had vaginal sex,&...

Have you ever had an experience of watching/reading something and come across a scene, character interaction, general vibe, or something else that helped part of your identity click into place? I believe I've shared this on here before, several years ago, but as goofy as it is, the movie But I'm a C...

Hi there quick.sylver, I wonder if you'd find this article about sexual shame helpful at all: Undoing Sexual Shame . The author of the article came from a religious background that instilled a lot of those feelings of shame, but I think she does a good job of discussing how to try and unravel those ...

Hi keszj, It sounds like this was a painful and upsetting experience, one that's really weighing on you, and I'm sorry that it happened. The first big thing I want to state is that even though you never said no to anything, I'm hearing a complete absence of a YES, or even of any sort of discussion b...

I'm glad privacy doesn't seem to be an issue, I'm sure that's helpful. It sounds like you may just need some more time to experiment and find some combination of fantasy, media, and touch that works for you. If you find yourself losing arousal, or feeling frustrated, it may be better to just hit pau...

Hi there hijklmnop, and welcome to Scarleteen. I want to acknowledge first thing that it sounds like all these desires and feelings are causing you a lot of distress, and I'm really sorry to hear that. The second thing, though, is that these desires you're describing--being turned on by thoughts of ...

I'm sorry this feeling has been so stressful for you! I do want to say, too, that right now, with the ongoing pandemic and a lot of social and political upheaval in many places, I don't think it's surprising that you're struggling a bit more with feeling numb. I wish it wasn't such a common thing ri...

I'm glad to hear the conversation with A went well and felt productive! That's great to hear. We're certainly happy to offer help and support around planning the conversation with B if you feel like we could be helpful there.

Hi there anonymous13234, I hope it's okay to jump in and share some thoughts here. :) I don't think that these moments where you're feeling an urge to make yourself attractive to men mean you aren't a lesbian. Regardless of sexual orientation, most women get a lot of messaging about the importance o...

When you say he's mostly respectful, have there been any moments where he hasn't been respectful that really stood out or have caused you any lingering worries? It may be helpful to have a conversation with him in which you talk about what you might need during sex to feel confident that he's paying...

It really isn't strange for a clitoris to get hard and visibly larger when aroused! I'm sorry this is causing you a lot of distress, but this isn't something that's unusual, and I would certainly hope your partner wouldn't have any sort of issue with it. If they did, that would be a pretty lousy rea...

That makes a lot of sense! I think it's great that you know this about yourself. :) I wonder if searching for something like "single/unpartnered by choice" would turn up any helpful results for you? It sounds like you're looking for other folks who are making the same deliberate choice, so...

Hi there BatsNCats, and welcome to Scarleteen. Since you mention it feeling like your hymen is causing some difficulty in inserting more than just one finger, I'm curious about whether you've ever talked to a doctor about it or had a gynecological exam. If you haven't done that, that's what I'd reco...

At the risk of repeating what Heather said above, there really aren't specific things we can recommend, because what feels good during masturbation is pretty personal; what works for one person might not work for another. It sounds like you've been doing some experimentation already, and I'd keep tr...

That sounds like a great plan! I'm sorry to hear that some folks close to you got COVID (I've had several friends get it recently too, sadly), but I think spending time with friends and family is a good idea right now, especially if you weren't in touch as often during this relationship.

I can understand why it would be so difficult to accept this change; it seems like it was a pretty quick change from a positive relationship to having to breakup and having these difficult conversations with her. I think there may be a possibility that you could connect platonically in the future, b...

I can definitely understand why rejection would hit harder in that particular instance. I do think it's important to keep in mind that rejection is very often not going to be about a rejection of You As A Person; there are so many reasons why someone might not want to start a relationship, have sex ...

Yes, that's all very helpful, thank you! :) It sounds like you have some really solid ideas about what sort of polyamorous situations you'd feel comfortable with in the future. I genuinely think that's great; I know that as a polyamorous person myself it took some time before I could figure out what...

Hi there, SL796, and welcome to Scarleteen. I do have a few thoughts that might be helpful. First off, we do have an article with some masturbation basics that may be worth a read: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation . I have a few questions to ask, too, so we can have a better understanding of w...

It sounds like you aren't looking to initiate anything in terms of sex/relationships with these new friends--correct me if I'm wrong, but that's the impression I'm getting from this post. If that's the case, then yes, it's fine to have those feelings and not act on them. If I misread the above and y...

I'll be another person to say that while I'm sad things ended the way they did, I'm so glad you were able to see the unhealthy patterns that had been established in your relationship and stand up for yourself.

You may be able to masturbate in your room at night, if you don't share your bedroom with anyone and you feel sure your parents are already asleep. That may be easier than going to the bathroom and spending time in there. What do you think bout Sam's suggestion to talk to your family about a "k...

The thing about setting boundaries in a relationship is that they only work if the other person agrees to respect them, which it seems pretty clearly your partner is not, right now. I can certainly understand why you wouldn't trust your partner to respect boundaries you try to set right now. I agree...

Something that's been helpful for me to think about, when approaching sex with a new person who has had a bunch more experience than me (or just very different experiences), is that there's a learning curve on both sides the first time any two people have sex. Even if one person's had a hundred part...