One quick note - I definitely don't think it's too late to talk to folks about how you feel about them seeing those images. I get that it's easy to feel like you've lost your chance to say something (I feel like this a lot!) but honestly, I think it's rarely really too late to talk about important t...

I'm sorry to hear that you had to have an ER visit on top of everything else, but it sounds like you have some good strategies in place to take care of yourself even though it's tough at the moment. Having a lot of conflicting and rapidly changing emotions isn't unusual when processing trauma, and i...

One thing I want to mention is that you aren't being dishonest by not explicitly talking about your orientation with your co-workers. If you'd feel more comfortable coming out to them, then it's totally fine to, but it's not wrong or sinister in any way if you don't do it right now.

I think focusing on taking care of yourself is a good idea. As part of that, are you able to avoid being around this friend, or at the very least avoid situations where you'd be alone with her? If you want to talk to someone who's specifically trained to help people who have been sexually assaulted,...

Pretty much anything can exist in microscopic quantities, but in the situation you're describing we really can't tell you anything more specific about your potential risk than our other risk-assessment materials can. If you haven't seen this specific article, I think it does a great job of outlining...

I would hope that your friends would understand the need to keep from gossiping or sharing information in this case! I understand that it can be hard to share sensitive material when there's a culture of things being spread around, but if folks were to do so in this situation that would be really un...

This sounds like a very confusing and upsetting situation, and I'm sorry you find yourself in it. It may be a good idea to give yourself some space from your partner for a while, so you have a chance to gather your feelings a bit and think about how you want to proceed. Do you feel like taking that ...

You may also be interested in our DIY sex toy article: Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition

If you check that instructions that come in your pill packet (you can do a search online if you threw it away) you can see what that particular brand states as being late. We really can't say why you're not seeing your period when you're expecting it but since you've recently had a big shift in how ...

Hi there,

I know we covered this in chat today; is there anything we talked about there that you need more clarification on?

Finding notes about yourself absolutely sounds creepy, so I'm not surprised you feel confused and upset by it. I realize it's late enough where you are that by now you've already made the decision to go to therapy or dinner or not; I hope that whatever you decided turned out to be what you needed. I...

In terms of why it feels like you can feel or smell him - sense memory can be very strong, and many people find that a stray scent or sound can trigger traumatic thoughts or memories pretty easily. It's a pretty understandable fear response from your body! That's something else that may fade with ti...

Healing is definitely not something that happens in a straight line, where you know that as you travel forward in time you will "get better" at a steadily increasing rate. It might help to imagine a graph showing upward growth overall, but with high and low points scattered throughout. It'...

Sure thing!

I just want to throw in something about your third point above. I do agree with you that it's good to be able to handle not hearing from her for a little while, and getting adjusted to fluctuations in how often you see/talk to her is a good idea. In the context of non-monogamous relationships, thoug...

I've been actively polyamorous for a while now and within that very large framework I've had a few different types of relationships. Just as it took me a while, when I first started dating, to figure out what sort of relationship structure worked for me there, it's taken some time to experiment and ...

I hope you find that app helpful! That might be even better than the web version in case you're out somewhere and popping your headphones in for a few minutes is feasible. It's likely that as time goes on, you'll have a better sense of what might cause flashbacks or trigger feelings of panic, and th...

Hi Tigger, I have a few thoughts. During flashbacks, many people find it helpful to work on grounding themselves in the present. This can take the form of lists of things you see around you, affirmations to say or think to yourself about how you're in a safe place now, deep breathing exercises, or d...

I wrote an advice column recently that talks about breaking up with someone you care about and how to do it compassionately; it's here if you want to take a look. It addresses some of the things you mention here so I hope it's helpful, and of course I'm happy to discuss anything in particular I said...

Hi there, kdtx. I'd say there's hope for you for sure! I'm not sure where these stories are coming from, but I wouldn't say they're representative of why most breakups or divorces happen. People decide to end relationships for all sorts of reasons, and sexual incompatibility can be a factor, but I d...

I definitely encourage you to try looking at yourself with a mirror! Not just to specifically help with tampons, although I think that'll be useful, but because I think it's helpful to have a good sense of your own anatomy in general.

When I was in my teens I spent some time in church environments that stated masturbation was not just wrong, but equivalent to adultery. I don't know that I ever fully believed it, but it was hard not to internalize some of that message; this particular church was great at promoting sexual shame.

Hi there carrotcake, We can certainly answer questions like this. We can't give specific tips for how you should masturbate, because it's such an individual thing that universal "best practices" don't really exist, but it's something we're happy to talk about! I don't think you're necessar...

Hi ladyrevan21, and welcome to Scarleteen! In terms of inserting a tampon, many brands have an insert that will offer some suggestions to make it easier (for example, some people find that standing with one foot on the ground and the other on the side of a bathtub or something of a similar height he...

Thanks for the update! It sounds like you have a good, solid plan for now; hopefully your OBGYN will have good news for you at your next appointment.