One thing you may want to try is setting up some sort of system where you can have a "knock first, please" sign of some sort on the door. When I was in college, a lot of people had small whiteboards on their doors where friends could leave messages and they would draw a certain design or p...

I definitely hear you on not liking the weird "masturbation is bad" messaging of online spaces like the nofap reddit! I don't think that's a helpful or healthy approach to handling masturbation even if you want to cut down for other reasons. There is a lot of talk about "addiction&quo...

I think, too, that some people have the thought that there's a "best" size or shape for a penis to be, in terms of what partners will enjoy. Just like there's no "most attractive" person, though, there's no "best" type of penis, either! People have all sorts of preferen...

That all sounds great! If you want a helpful resource for information on safer sex practices and getting tested, this article has a great overview: Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

It does sound like your partner's struggling to deal with conflict in a way that's not abusive, but I don't think the way for him to get better at it is for him to remain in a relationship where he's able to continue that abuse. I don't think putting yourself at continued risk of abuse is likely to ...

Many people are able to retract their foreskins by that age, but not everyone can, and it isn't necessarily a sign of a problem. It sounds like it isn't painful for you, which is a good sign. If it ever does become painful or uncomfortable, it's something you could discuss with your doctor.

Hi Pips, and welcome to Scarleteen. First off, I promise we will not judge you for reading fanfiction!! It's not like none of us here do that. :) When you're trying to masturbate, are you doing it when you're already feeling aroused, like when you read fanfic you find arousing? Or are you trying to ...

There isn't a guaranteed way you and your sister can assert your independence from each other (and your parents) without your parents freaking out or having a negative reaction, but I think it's important to assert that anyway, if you can. When they indicate that they expect you to do things togethe...

It's so true! Friendships and all kinds of relationships can be really tough, and I know the isolation of the pandemic has made maintaining friendships harder for a lot of people. I think it's worth putting in the effort to connect with people when you can, but it's also good to acknowledge that it ...

One thing to keep in mind is that sperm aren't bacteria; cross-contamination isn't something that happens with sperm. We do find that a lot of people are worried about sperm behaving in very bacteria-like ways, so it may help to remember that they just can't do the same things bacteria can.

I think taking it slow is a good plan! It can be hard to see someone working hard and not taking time for themselves, for sure. It can be a tricky thing to talk about, since some folks don't have the option of cutting down on work or are prioritizing it for a valid reason even if it causes some stre...

Thanks for the update, Amthyst!! I'm glad that the two of you have connected well in person. It's great to hear that he's being respectful and thoughtful in regards to what you've told him about your anxiety and experience with abuse. I hope you continue to have a good time when you're hanging out t...

The new abortion law states that an abortion is illegal after cardiac activity can be detected in an embryo. These sorts of bans, which a few other states have also instituted or are trying to institute, are often called "heartbeat" bans for that reason. This usually happens around the six...

These are all good questions, and I wish I had concrete answers for all of them, but a lot of these will vary from one person or situation to the next. The big, general answer I'd give to all of this is that it's good to practice good communication skills as much as possible: ask for clarification i...

Hopefully there will be a time when he'll be able to attend one of your parties! You could even ask something like "I know you couldn't make the last couple of these I hosted and I'd like to include you, is there a time you know you'll be free that i could plan one?" That might give you a ...

Hi there noordinarylove, and welcome to Scarleteen. Sometimes it can take a bit of experimentation to figure out what might make orgasm more likely to happen. It may be worth taking some time to try out different ways of touching yourself, adding lube or toys, exploring different sexual fantasies, e...

Hi p3beo, and welcome to Scarleteen. I'm sorry your dysphoria is making masturbation so upsetting and difficult. It's something that a lot of trans people struggle with, sadly, and while I don't have a clear solution I'm hoping some of our other community members who've had similar struggles might h...

That's going to depend on the law in your area. Many areas allow for nude swimming or sunbathing but even in areas where it's technically legal, not everyone is going to be comfortable with it. It's probably best to err on the side of caution and make sure to have a swimsuit with you.

We go over some of the common errors folks make in condom use in a few of our articles about condoms: Condom Basics: A User's Manual & All the Barriers! All the Time!. Most errors in condom use are related to improper use or storage that makes breakage or slipping off more likely.

Hi there James, welcome to Scarleteen.
We actually have an article about how to make some DIY sex toys that you may find helpful! Check it out: D.I.Y. Sex Toys: Self-Love Edition.

When you're feeling the urge to masturbate, what is that feeling like? Is it a sense of physical arousal? The reason I ask is that if you aren't feeling aroused, it's unlikely for sexual touch to feel that great, and that might be contributing to your frustration. I hear you that it's tough to know ...

How are you feeling, when you decide to masturbate? Are you already feeling aroused when you start? The kinds of touch that can feel great when we're already turned on can feel uncomfortable or completely unremarkable when we aren't aroused. I just wanted to check in to see how you're feeling during...

In general, when we're talking about birth control methods being ineffective, it's because those methods fail or are used improperly. It may help to know a bit more about how effectiveness rates are calculated! Our article Have a Little Faith in BC has some in-depth information on this process that ...

One thing I do want to add is that part of proper condom use includes holding the base of the condom when withdrawing from one's partner, to make sure the condom doesn't slip off the penis during withdrawal. Because withdrawal can happen pretty suddenly, when used as a birth control method, it can b...

I'm so happy to hear this! It's a huge positive step and I am so glad you were able to take it.