Hi Sam, If this seems like a good thing to do then I'll mention it. I guess when I say I don't think I'd be happy it'd be more of a circumstance I'd "have to accept and live with" rather than something I'd be truly content with. I'll just drift through life and different people but not nec...

Hey Heather, So with that first bit I say "purest" meaning as vulnerable as a person can be, not "pure" as in like "wholesome" or "untainted". Just the ability to be extremely vulnerable with a person (whatever that means for that person). For me this means ex...

Hey Heather, 1. Okay, these things are all true but I still don't enjoy this concept that virtually regardless of what I or the other person does that things cam still "go wrong" and end (outside of out living the other person and accidentally viewing Sam's odea of temporary as EVERYTHING ...

Hi Sam, Sorry I misunderstood your idea of temporary as it relates to relationships. Pretty much I agree and don't mind any of these ideas and only feel that sense of hopelessness if I were to simply never have a lifelong partner because the idea of a lifelong partner is impossible. Does that make s...

Hi Mo, There's no doubt in my mind that I can and will have different outcomes with my exes. So far none of them have been positive in terms of how well we get along as people or keep in contact with one another after the relationship. With my most recent ex, I would love to be their friend someday ...

Hey Sam, I'l be very honest with all of you, I would love to be in a relationship where I'm content and have a person to "share my life with" I don't think I have been or ever will be aromantic which is why a lot of these feelings relating to my ex are pretty painful for me. When it comes ...

Hi Mo, I feel like love and romance should go on the back burner because they tend to impact my mood and decisions in ways that I feel may not be okay. If I'm interested or attached to a person I can either be energized and chipper or very distressed and down in the dumps to the point of a breakdown...

Hey Siân, In response to the first part, I guess that's how I feel? Ultimately I'm in this state of not only letting relationships, serious or not, run their course but also feel it best not to expect any romantic relationship to be permenant or even last for a long time, not matter how much I may w...

With the feelings of my original appraoch to relationships being pointless, it just feels like I tried to go the "best" route to keep from being heartbroken and hitting a dead end with someone. I wanted a long term partner to grow up (or even old) with and knowing now that no matter what I...

Heather, I'll be honest about how I feel about this; that sounds awful. To know and accept, whether I like it or not, that any ideal relationship including the one I'm trying to get over could ultimately go to sh!t because of something like timing or anything else out of my control is absolutely f*c...

Hi Heather, thanks for the clarification about my sexual attraction and romantic interest. Hey Sam!, I guess what burns me the most about this what-if game is that I still feel those tinges of guilt regarding how the sexual aspect of the relationship was handled and it feels unfixable because my ex ...

Hi Sam, So the good news is I decided to overcome my fear and pursue this casual relationship with this person. I did have sex with them, we both had fun and it was really nice. However it's now the day after and all I can really think about is my ex and how much I miss them. I feel stupid for not l...

Hi Alice, One of the things I will say is that yes my family and possibly some of my friends would judge me if I went into a relationship "too soon", especially if it ends in me getting hurt. I do have a journal but I haven't used it in a while and even more conflicting thoughts like these...

Hey everyone, So recently aside from pondering about sex I've been trying to further look into my sense of emotion and how that emotion reacts to relationships. It's been about a month since the end of my previous relationship and recently I was getting myself tangled into flirting, flings and a pos...

Hi Heather, I wanna thank you for the advice and kind words. I'm not more openly discussing this with friends (quite a bit who are closer to the person in question's age or older) and regardless of what decision I make they don't want me getting hurt. Only a couple of friends who are around 20/21 en...

Hey Heather, When I shut everything else down, my overanalyzing and my sexual desires, I have on two things in mind. I am completely calm and okay with the idea of waiting to have sex but there's this mindset that I just want to continue feeling calm, relaxed and to have fun. Sometimes that fun invo...

Hey Heather!, This makes sense and these potential partner(s) would be respectful of my boundaries. I guess the bigger problem is I'm having fun and I sort of want to get caught up in that fun and sexual curiousity and forget about whether or not a relationsip should be commited and just go have sex...

Hey Siân, To answer your first question; things still kind of hurt and feel weirdly numb. A part of me doesn't feel anything and I'm perfectly fine but every now and again I just see something small that reminds me of them and burst into tears. It feel like my grieving has been coming in waves rathe...

Hi, So I'm the person from the Sexual Shame post who was struggling with feelings regarding a crush while in a relationship and other sexual shame feelings regarding their current partner. About three weeks ago, right before my area's Pride, my partner and I broke up. They couldn't give me attention...

Hi Siân!, This totally makes sense and it's why I was very relaxed during the trip. It's why I really knew I would be okay and would be in control of myself while feeling these emotions. Even through some slightly embarrassing aspects of the encounter were there (people wondering about the relations...

I've heard this is normal, especially since situations can get tough and people can get lonely, but how doed one navigate a crush while still in a relationship? I recognize logically that I love my current partner and that I know them better but I still don't understand exactly why I can be attracte...

Hey Sam, this is very understandable. Relationships and mental illness are both difficult things to deal with and things won't always be sunshine and rainbows but I know that as hard as it is that it is worth while to us both. It's why we are doing this. It does make sense issues will flair up, mayb...

With any counselor or therapist they've all said the same things; it was just a messy, mutual event and that my sexual desires are natural. I have not had yet received a plan of action for thos issue in particular and have been talking about this in the sea of other life events that I've been stread...

Hey Sam, Yes!! I 100% agree with you and my partner and I have discussed this prior to our break. The boundaries established were that my partner did not want to be touched in more intimate ways for the time being whereas I (at first) didn't really care about any sort of touch. I just told myself th...

That's fine! I'll leave this set of thoughts for you: Well I don't know how I would feel about this relationship shifting from romantic to platonic. We've established we would still be friends or at least try to be if our romantic relationship ended but I don't think either one of us would be okay w...