Hi Carly, I guess so? The thing is I want to keep from wallowing in a way where I just focus on being sad to the point where I end up not doing anything proactive or simply just never get over it in a way where I can healthily pursue new relationships of any kind. Like I don't want to sit around bei...

Hi Siân, I wouldn't say I don't give myself permission to be sad, I just don't want to be sad. I was the one who was unhappy and while yes I understand I'll still grieve the relationship I also still find it pointless to sit and feel bad when I can finally go and out and get one of my needs met. Eve...

Hey Sam, I've been kind of doing that but it feels like it usually still leaves me in the same spot. Especially since there are quite a few people who use certain apps meant for dating to find friends. As for events, I feel like it's even more difficult because then I have to figure out how to appro...

I wouldn't say I feel like I won't ever find a partner but I do feel like it'll be very difficult to find FWBs/longer term hookups. Is there any way to socially gauge if a person is interested in a friendship rather than sex and vice versa? Preferably without having to outright ask? It feels like th...

Hey Sam, I'll admit it'll be rough to remind myself of the potential partners out there when it feels like they're hard to find and even harder to make that connection with. Also what you said does make sense. Also I want to give a quick update on the person I met up with. They seem nice but I have ...

Hi Carly, I am still seeing my therapist. Unfortunately we have to reschedule my next appointment and because I don't know what my work schedule will look like I don't know when I'll see her again. I did already mention to her my break up and how I felt guilty for "moving on too fast" when...

Hey just wanted to update. As I'm typing this I'm crying because I recieved my hoodie back from my ex and my anniversary gift. I realize I still call them my partner when I talk about them to others sometimes. I have my appetite back but have been going hours without eating to the point where I feel...

Hey Marisha, When I was in my teens, I felt dating was supposed to be; you're friends first to get to know the person then date them with the intent to marry them. The very old fashioned, heteronormative bs. As I've gotten older I've learned most people don't do that it seems and once I started actu...

Hey Mo, I will agree on my most recent ex probably saying harmful things that even I didn't realize was harmful until afterward. However, I disagree that this most recent ex wasn't manipulative at all but the one before them was. As for the section on incompatibility, I'm very aware of that and acce...

Hey Marisha, When I say extremism, in the past I would alternate between trying really hard to hookup at any given chance as though it were a personality trait or I would be too anxious about any sort of remote attraction to anyone and would avoid it at all costs. I feel like I sometimes end up in r...

Well Sofi, I do have some healthy coping skills. Last time I was playing guitar everytime I felt those sad feelings coming up, working out, seeing my friends when I could and putting myself into my work. I ended up not having an outlet for these feelings and if I did it could only do so much. My old...

Hi Sofi, Thank you for your response! It's been tough to reach out to friends and chosen family given the pandemic keeping everyone separated. I've also decided to take a break from social media for a while. As for managing my feelings, the loneliness is the hardest part. I remember before this most...

So my now very new ex and I broke up. I broke up with them because our circumstances became far too much for me. Between their parents being racist and anti-LGBTQ+ and living over an hour away with different work schedules that drove us further and further apart I finally said I couldn't do it anymo...

This is going to be extremely straightforward. My dad died last week and I'm okay with it. We had a terrible relationship before he died and the only thing I really grieved was not being able to have that healthy father-child relationship. Am I the only person who has felt a sense of relief/happines...

Hey everyone, Mo I did talk to my partner about this and they still don't consider therapy a priority right now. We've been having much more productive conversations about quality time and trying to sexually explore while everything sucks. They're more open to car sex and I guess I've gotten used to...

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from on that. From my end I feel it would make things worse and I think I'd cope in an unhealthy manner (isolating and doing nothing but work to avoid assessing the feelings regarding breaking up and overall going back to being single and avoiding dating). Like su...

Hi Sofi, So my partner and I, in both past and recent discussions, have established that relationship remain monogamous. The primary reasons why are because we both want to try and resolve any issues within the relationship before involving anyone else. They aren't dismissive at all. We've just come...

Hi Alexa, I just want to specify this is primarily a Me issue with feeling as though I can't say things to my partner. I have said things in the beginning of our relationship that have triggered their own trauma or have simply worded things horribly that have upset them before. I don't feel like I'm...

Hey Siân, So my partner started their new job recently and I'll be working more so we fell into a routine of calling each other when our schedules allow it and we talk about work or how our days went. I've been stressed because of the start of the holiday season which means more hours at my job. Plu...

Hi Siân, So yes, all of this makes sense and I highly agree! After reaching out to broader suppirt group to vent more about this and allowing myself to be more vulnerable in regards to these feelings, I've come to gather a few things. 1. Obviously mine and my partner's sex drives are both influenced...

A quick update: So we did work something out but I have a problem. I want more sex and I guess I accepted or internalized along the progression of our relationship that I can't get enough of the sex I want from my partner. We agreed to trying to schedule sexting, something I thought wasn't even poss...

Hi Mo, Yes they do. They let me know that they're stressed and that unfortunately the primary things keeping them from being interested in sex (like their brain says yes but their body says no or they're simply too stressed altogether to even think about sex) are all out of either one of our control...

Hi Sofi, So you were very right for me to check in with my partner on the chat rooms and such. They weren't comfortable with the idea because I was talking about interacting with accounts from friends/people I knew. Their headspace in response was a very cisheteronormative "I'm a prude so my 'b...

Hey Sofi, I'm open to it for sure! I don't think my partner would mind but I will definitely check in with them. As for my partner's boundaries I have been. I do talk to them about how our sexual needs clash though because aside from enjoying sexual pleasure it's one of the many physical ways I like...

Hi Sofi! I really appreciate the input here a lot and appreciate the support about how I feel with everything going on right now. My partner and I have been keeping an open line about how I've been feeling in terms of how to go about that validation. I'm very aware of the porn industry's "main&...