Hey lol it’s been a long time. So I’ve made pretty great strides since this I first made this post here. Well, good ish. Long story short, I went to a psychiatrist! I have an official diagnosis but more might come, as of now I have, ocd, severe depression, general anxiety disorder, ptsd and psychosi...

Hey heather, sorry. Been busy with working and just trying not to fall apart. I went to therapy again yesterday and I am gonna get a new therapist I don’t like her really. She’s nice and stuff but I don’t think she really knows how to handle me. She always asks me what I want her to do and I don’t k...

I just don’t want to be alone. Like I’ll be alone while she’s at work and she goes to visit family a lot and I don’t want to be alone I’m gonna fall apart

I don’t want to be alone

I’ve never not lived with family so never have had one. I’m a bit nervous, we’ve been friends for a bit, we’re gonna get a 2 bedroom, 2 bath so I’m not super worried but I also am. Anything you have is great lol. I’m really afraid to leave home because they are very shitty and they are telling me I ...

Heather! Guess what!!!! Not sure why I’m telling you this but I have an emotional connection with you because we’ve talked about a lot and sometimes good things happen and I’m like I can’t wait to tell heather! Lol. Anyways, I found a roommate and I’m moving out!!!! It’s gonna be in about 2 months s...

Hey,

So, if me and someone are together and they get horny and I don’t want to have sex what do I do? Same with texting, if she gets horny and I don’t want to offer anything what do I do?

I’m self sabotaging again and told my therapist that I’m done seeing her and I don’t know why I panic and just do this stuff. I’m so afraid to get better and to get hurt etc

I’m afraid because I think I’m just seen as someone easy to manipulate and abuse so I’m just not gonna date or anything

Yeah, and I just don’t wanna do any of that.

Yeah intimacy is not for me

Thank you for understanding and letting me talk.

But intimacy is always touching, so I don’t know if I can even have that so I stick to talking to people online but then it hurts me because I’m incapable of love or intimacy. Fuck my life.

I understand. It’s just the way I was raised it’s that someone won’t really love you unless you’re giving them sex. So I have in my mind that no one will love me unless i have sex with them. If they tell me they love me without sex then I will know that sex will make the love stronger. So I keep tel...

Yes relived. It’s extremely exhausting. I have a question for you and I don’t know how to word it so I’ll try my best so you understand. Can sex/relationships be a trauma thing? Because I’m afraid to Get into a relationship because I could be abused again and I’m afraid to have sex because I don’t l...

Okay well I cried a bit when I read that so I’m assuming that means it works haha

Is that an okay identity to have?

Hey heather,

Yes that’s how the first appointment want, I talked to her about it. I don’t know but now I think I am ace again and I’m nb trans masc and I don’t know anymore

Well I don’t wanna be gay so, I like about it when I catch feelings and I really liked her and I miss her. Therapy was hard because I got triggered about the sexual assault and I spiraled out of control. Sure we can talk about it all

I told her I wasn’t gay and asked to be friends and she said no. So, I’m giving up fully on relationships, forever. I don’t wanna go to therapy today or ever again

I’ve only been once and it was super rough. So rough that I ended up relapsing on cutting because I couldn’t handle the way I was feeling. 4 months down the drain. But I’m okay now, until Wednesday when I go again. Yes she’s okay with the way I wanna do things (not having clothes off) but she’s 1000...

Hey everyone! So I’ve been talking to this girl for awhile, we had plans to meet but I freaked out and told her I couldn’t do this and I blocked her. I cried a lot because I really want her. I went to therapy and she helped me realize I was molested not to long ago and that’s why I have so much fear...

I have in person therapy today. I don’t have anything to say and I’m so hurt at something that happened yesterday that I don’t even wanna get out of Bed to go but I have to!!

Heather, Why shouldn’t I date/have sex right now? Why is so hard? Why are you so set on it?

I have used headspace before! I love that app. I’ll check the other two out. I’ve used mood trackers and it’s so frequent. It bothers me. I’ve also done journal but I kinda refuse to do that anymore as well

I’ve looked into apps that help when I feel the urges to cut and I’ve used apps that help me sleep when I can’t shut my mind off. If you know of ones that are good, send them my way. Also yeah that’s good in theory. But I don’t realize that I’m impulsive/destructive until it passes or I do it and re...