contraceptives in college

[ireallylovecats]

hey so im virgin and i will be leaving for college later this year and for years i’ve been planning that i want to have a lot of sex in college because of the freedom. like i just can’t wait. it seems like this magical sexy place to me. i imagine myself meeting guys who are as horny as me and just being able to do it with whoever whenever no problem. but i want to make sure that i do it as safely as possible and i researched all the contraceptive options. i really don’t want anything hormonal bc of side effects - i heard it causes weight gain and headaches. i think my top choice is a copper iud because you don’t really have to worry about it once it’s in, it lasts a long time, and doesn’t release hormones. (obviously i would use condoms too to prevent std’s.) however, how does one go about getting one? like a regular doctor’s office or a planned parenthood? i’m not even sure where i’m going or if every college town has something like that. i heard they’re expensive and that you should have a prescription/be on a healthcare plan because you need checkups and stuff. the problem with that is that my parents are strongly against me having sex before marriage. i don’t feel comfortable like having them know about if it’s on my record or going to my doctor’s office at home. i once brought it up to my mom and she was like “oh that’s unnecessary, why would you want that if you’re not gonna have sex?”. its just very awkward and i probably owe some of my sexual shame to my parents. they think the only reason i would need birth control is if i got raped. but thats another story. so is there a way to get an iud in a college town, as cheap as possible, without having my parents find out? money isn’t a huge issue as i can save up but i want to know now so i can start saving. btw, i will turn 18 the month after i arrive at college. if not, any alternate options?

[ireallylovecats]

also i feel like a really immoral bad person for all this because it’s going against my parents wishes but i need some relief omg.

[mikky]

Hi again!

I love that you're planning on what birth control feels like the best fit for you AND planning to buddy it up with condoms for STD prevention. I'll also note that different BCs can affect folks in very different ways, so not everyone gets the same side effects (or any at all), and it can be a little bit of a trial and error process for many of us.

As you probably know, there are SO many reasons why someone might choose to use birth control that aren't just to prevent pregnancy. It doesn't seem like your parents know this or at least aren't of that belief. I hope that moving away to college gives you the space to explore your own values and beliefs. I also want to note that college isn't necessarily a "magical sexy place." The newfound freedom that a lot of folks get, meeting new people, being around a bunch of people your age, etc definitely can support an environment where sex is happening. But there's such a range of other experiences that come with that- like new academic stressors, responsibilities, loneliness, figuring out new things about yourself.... my point being, it might not be like Sex Disneyland, and that's okay. You are not an immoral or bad person for wanting sex. You are not an immoral or bad person for having values that conflict with your parent's.

IUDs can be prescribed and inserted by a number of health providers, including primary care physicians, gynecologists, and sexual health clinicians at places like Planned Parenthood. Most places will want you to engage in some kind of consultation process to determine which birth control methods will work best for you. A lot of colleges have health centers where birth control consultations are pretty commonplace. Not all of these places will have the copper IUD, just to note.

While your medical records will be private as an adult, if you are on your parents insurance and use that insurance to cover the cost of BC, I am unsure of the privacy of those records. I will defer to my coworkers to see if anyone has more information. Cost and availability are really going to depend on where you are living, what insurance you have and whether you feel comfortable using it, and which method you choose. When you have more information about where you will be living, we could do a deeper dive into resources in that area for you to see what's available and what to expect.

[ireallylovecats]

hi thank you for the long detailed answer! not sure what insurance i have but i’ll be in ny.

[KierC]

Hi ireallylovecats!

I also wanted to pop in and say that if you’re heading to college, there might be a student health service attached to your school that can offer birth control options! To my knowledge, that might be a more confidential option for care, but if you’re ever worried about the possibility of your parents finding out through a medical bill or insurance statement, it might be helpful to call and verify their privacy policies beforehand. How does that sound to you?

[ireallylovecats]

i think that’s helpful, i’ll research once i decide the specific college. most probably have resources for students. i’m less anxious lmao

[HannahP]

That's a great idea! Yes, most colleges will have a page on their website about health services, and usually one specifically about sexual health services. Sometimes colleges will specifically offer birth control consultation services or mention that you can talk with one of their providers about your options. There are a lot of new college students who are accessing birth control for the first time, so I think it's something a lot of colleges know how to handle pretty well.