Size and depth issues with vaginal penetration

[dansktop]

I am a 22 year old transsexual man (female-to-male) who is experiencing problems with vaginal penetration. I have been on testosterone injections for more than 3 years and have not experienced severe complications related to vaginal atrophy such as vaginal dryness, cramping or migraines. I have no problems with external masturbation and achieving orgasm through clitoral stimulation, but have never attempted vaginal penetration, even in non-sexual contexts. I recently purchased a dual-stimulation vibrator, the Lovense Dolce, whose G-spot stimulator measures about 3 inches in length and 1,5 inches in diameter - not an extreme size that should induce pain during penetration.

Despite this, I cannot insert the toy into my vagina. I have attempted to do so while aroused, lying down with my legs spread as wide as possible and using my free hand to spread the vulvar lips apart, but it feels as if there is a lot of resistance when pushing the toy inside, followed by an uncomfortable sensation at the vaginal entrance. I have attempted to insert a finger into my vagina to diagnose the issue and feel that there is sufficient natural lubrication, but my finger is not able to penetrate the vagina deeply either. There is no discomfort at the vaginal entrance, but it feels as if the finger cannot go any deeper after a short distance. I do not know if this is caused by internal resistance or an incorrect insertion angle. I'm told that the correct angle should be slightly downwards and it's easier to penetrate the vagina when the hips are elevated, but I have not been able to overcome the resistance.

I have never visited a gynecologist and am not keen to do so (gynecologists where I live are not experienced with transsexual patients). My research so far points to either vaginismus or an imperforate hymen, although I'm wondering if vaginal atrophy could be the cause of this as well. It doesn't feel like I am straining my pelvic floor muscles (the sensation of holding in pee) when attempting penetration. I am aware of vaginal dilators, but I would prefer not to buy new tools unless no other method works. What is the best way I can identify the root problem get myself used to vaginal penetration without medical assistance?

[Latha]

Hi there, Dansktop- welcome to the boards!

You've already been very thorough and you're doing a lot of what we'd recommend. A doctor could help diagnose any physical problems with more certainty, but I completely understand why you don't want to see one. (Long-term, I would still recommend trying to find a doctor who is respectful of trans patients and understands their needs, just to take care of your health.)

If I may, I'd like to ask some clarifying questions: are you experiencing any pain when you try to insert something? How were your periods? It is true that vaginal atrophy could cause this- are you experiencing any other symptoms, like burning, itching, or difficulties with urination?

As you probably know, it is important to stay relaxed when we insert things into the vagina- but sometimes muscle tension can be hard to notice. It may still help to try relaxation exercises, like breathing slowly and deeply, and consciously relaxing your pelvic area (or even your entire body). You could also try to take a warm bath.

If you do end up looking into trainers, we have two articles that may be of use to you:
Debunking Dilators: The What, Why, and Which of Dilation (Part One)
Debunking Dilators: The When, Where, and How of Dilation (Part Two)

[dansktop]

Thanks Latha for the reply - glad to know that I've done my due diligence in attempting to solve the problem on my own and that I'm trying the appropriate techniques.

Are you experiencing any pain when you try to insert something?

I don't feel any sharp pain during insertion. When I insert a finger in a lying position, there is no additional feeling of pain or pleasure. It simply goes inside, but doesn't make it further than about an inch before it feels as if it cannot go forward. If it's relevant, I have large labia majora that may cause me to feel as if I'm penetrating myself more deeply than in reality, so the actual penetration depth may be shorter than an inch. When I insert the toy, there is a feeling of the vaginal opening being stretched, similar to opening one's mouth very wide, which is mildly uncomfortable but not intensely painful.

How were your periods?

My periods were regular with a normal flow rate that could be managed with standard pads (I have not used tampons before). They did not interfere with my daily life and I have never needed to take medication for them. I can count on a single hand the number of times I experienced "intense cramping" that interfered with my regular activities. My periods were responsive to testosterone and stopped one month into my treatment, and resumed for a time when I lowered my dose by one half to two-thirds to ration my testosterone supply during the pandemic.

It is true that vaginal atrophy could cause this- are you experiencing any other symptoms, like burning, itching, or difficulties with urination?

I didn't experience itching or difficulties with urination, and burning sensations are mild, extremely rare and short-lived. They mostly occurred within my first few months on testosterone and were never longer than a minute or intense enough to disrupt my activities.

[Latha]

Hi Dansktop

Since your periods were pretty regular, I think an imperforate hymen is unlikely (though I'm not a doctor to say for sure). It is good that you haven't experienced too many difficulties with vaginal atrophy- perhaps you could still experiment with some vaginal moisturizer or water-based lube, just in case. It certainly can't hurt. Making sure you're very aroused should be helpful too. Inflammation from atrophy can cause the vaginal canal to shorten and tighten, so another thing you could try is to look into estrogen creams, tablets, and rings. They are meant to go in the vagina, and their effects are localized there, so they won't affect the testosterone that you're taking.

It is honestly a bit hard to tell what is happening, I'm sorry. Perhaps you could try a self-examination with a mirror if you haven't done so already, to see if there are any visual signs. And getting dilators may be a good idea at this point.