Not Feeling Anything When Masturbating

[BadgerQueen]

To start with, I'm a non-op trans woman, so I still have the genitals of someone assigned male at birth, and that's part of the problem. I've been on HRT for almost three years now and I've never had a problem with masturbating before until recently. The toys I use have worked, and even felt great before, but now I don't feel anything physically. I can use whatever toy I know has worked before and I can mentally be in the zone but I just can't get relief. Normally, this isn't a problem as I don't need or want to masturbate often but when I'm on my cycle (or at least the trans woman version of it), I really need some release. Because of this, I'm getting frustrated during a time when I'm hormonal and emotionally sensitive already and makes focusing on anything, especially my schoolwork, impossible on top of feeling horrible. I don't know why this is happening or what I can do to alleviate to pressure but I'm also new to opening up myself when it comes to my sexuality, so it's still all relatively new to me. I'm at a loss.

[Andy]

Hi there and welcome to the boards!

I’m sorry to hear that, it can be frustrating when something that has been working for us for a long time suddenly doesn’t work anymore, especially at times when you really need it too.

To get a better sense of what might be going on here, what exactly do you mean when you say that you don’t feel anything physically: is that part of your body numb? You can feel something but it isn’t pleasurable? The feeling is not bad but you can’t get the relief you want to? Something else?

[BadgerQueen]

It's more of the latter. I mostly use a wand as it's worked for years but now it's just... vibrations that are not pleasurable anymore. If I want relief I have to be more... vigorous in it's use which just doesn't feel good and slightly hurts and isn't the relief I want. It's a physical release but it is not enjoyable at all. I'm not sure if it's me or the toy that needs to change but I hope it isn't the toy as I'm a college student with no money.

[Andy]

Hi and thank you for the additional info,

I can definitely relate to the collage student on a tight budget experience! If you haven’t tried it yet, you can try giving yourself some time and just experimenting with different things you haven’t tried before. Sometimes the reason why something that used to doesn’t feel good anymore, can be just that our bodies or minds changed and now need different things, or simply that the activity lacks the novelty it once had and shaking things up a little might be all that’s needed.

Apart from that, how are you currently feeling about your life, were there for example any big changes lately? Are you able to experience other non-sexual pleasure from things like food or massage? I’m asking because our mind often plays a big role in our ability to experience arousal and pleasure even when we don’t realize it at the moment.

[BadgerQueen]

Well, I'm finally able to get electrolysis for facial hair this year as well as now having top surgery scheduled this year, I got accepted into the STEM program I wanted to study in, and I started my first serious relationship with another woman just a few months ago, so it's actually going really well for me. I haven't felt this good about my life ever. I can experience non-sexual pleasure from cooking or from crocheting to learning guitar, so maybe I need to change how I approach this as I'm not the same person I was last year.

[Andy]

Congratulations on everything, that’s all so great to hear!

That sounds like a really good approach, I’ll be hoping you will find it helpful. Let us know if there is anything else around this or something else we can help you with!