i tried fingering myself and it hurt like so bad i had to stop...

[just_a_girl]

I've fingered myself plenty timws before and I normally used to get off but I don't really know what's going on because now I can't.
It started around like two years ago, yes thats a long period, but i never really paid much attention to it. A long time ago I was sexually assaulted and after it, ive never really orgasmed. My clit is practically dead like I can't get off and I can't do literally anything its so frustrating. I know this is like tmi but like I'm helpless. Is it because I was assaulted and everything just shut off or what..coz I don't even know what to do. And even if I'm close to an orgasm it disappears...it sucks tbh. Even if I watch something to get myself turned on, nothing. No matter how much i try no orgasm. What do i do

[Jacob]

Oh my heart goes out to you! It sounds like having been assaulted is absolutely playing a role here, and what you're experiencing is a very common thing among among people recovering from rape and sexual assault.

I'll say firstly is that this is not TMI... this is just as important a part of trauma and recovery as anything else. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It's also not a hopeless situation, trauma can have a profound effect on us but it's unlikely that these parts of yourself are permanently "switched off". Just as your sexual response has been affected by trauma, it will also continue to evolve and there are ways you can help it along towards recovery, and you are more likely to see a gradual change, than an instant solution.

We actually have pieces on this topic, and I feel like this one might be a good place to start, so maybe give it a read and see if there's anything you find helpful there: Late Bloomer: A Guide To Orgasm After Rape

Here's quick summary of the advice there:

• Heal, Take Time To Process
• Don’t Force It
• Work To Consciously Change Mindsets
• Reconnect With Yourself
• Check-In When You Check-Out
• Open Up and Find Support
• Remember: Recovery Isn’t Linear

[just_a_girl]

Thank you

[Latha]

Hi just_a_girl,

You might also be interested in this article series: Aftershocks: The Physical Effects of Sexual Trauma.