ocd and sexuality
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ocd and sexuality
okay hi so as said in the subject title, i have ocd and it rlly affects how i experience attraction. im asexual as well so they prob intersect a ton . but im also a writer and sometimes write suggestive/sex scenes bc it has potential for character development .
the thing is my flavor of ocd is pocd and my brain keeps telling me the characters im writing r children even though they most definitely arent. part of it is bc of the fact one of the characters i write nsfw of is from a series that takes place in the near future. the series takes place between the years 2027-2029, but in 2024-25, theyd be younger, so my brain thinks that imagining sexual scenarios for them would be weird even though theyre a canon adult and i'm envisioning them as they are in canon, aka a 22 yr old (im 20 for reference)
honestly idk what to do bc i didnt mind writing smut fic for the first time but i dont want my ocd beating me over the head esp since im writing abt canon adults here + my ocd is trying to convince me otherwise with its weird ocd logic. any advice on how to challenge these thoughts that isnt me being stuck in an obsessive compulsive thought loop?
the thing is my flavor of ocd is pocd and my brain keeps telling me the characters im writing r children even though they most definitely arent. part of it is bc of the fact one of the characters i write nsfw of is from a series that takes place in the near future. the series takes place between the years 2027-2029, but in 2024-25, theyd be younger, so my brain thinks that imagining sexual scenarios for them would be weird even though theyre a canon adult and i'm envisioning them as they are in canon, aka a 22 yr old (im 20 for reference)
honestly idk what to do bc i didnt mind writing smut fic for the first time but i dont want my ocd beating me over the head esp since im writing abt canon adults here + my ocd is trying to convince me otherwise with its weird ocd logic. any advice on how to challenge these thoughts that isnt me being stuck in an obsessive compulsive thought loop?
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Re: ocd and sexuality
Hi Vio, welcome to the boards!
It would be nice if it were enough to know that something is fine to stop worrying about it. Alas, anxiety isn't always that reasonable. I’m sorry you're experiencing this, it must be frustrating! Before I say anything else: if you are not seeing a mental health professional already, that might be something to consider. A therapist would have the expertise to help you manage these kinds of thought loops in ways we can't.
Challenging these thoughts with accurate information is a good strategy. You're right, these characters are not minors, they are adults. See if you can focus on the absurd elements of these thoughts. Your characters are in the present of 2027: if you can't write about them having sex because they were minors in the past, no one can talk about anyone having sex, because everyone was a minor at some point.
There are other strategies you can use, such as mindfulness and distraction. Anxiety might tell you that this is important and that you need to stay in this conversation. However, you know the truth, and you probably have other things you want to do with your time. By just postponing when you think about this again, you may give yourself evidence that this isn't actually an urgent problem.
It would be nice if it were enough to know that something is fine to stop worrying about it. Alas, anxiety isn't always that reasonable. I’m sorry you're experiencing this, it must be frustrating! Before I say anything else: if you are not seeing a mental health professional already, that might be something to consider. A therapist would have the expertise to help you manage these kinds of thought loops in ways we can't.
Challenging these thoughts with accurate information is a good strategy. You're right, these characters are not minors, they are adults. See if you can focus on the absurd elements of these thoughts. Your characters are in the present of 2027: if you can't write about them having sex because they were minors in the past, no one can talk about anyone having sex, because everyone was a minor at some point.
There are other strategies you can use, such as mindfulness and distraction. Anxiety might tell you that this is important and that you need to stay in this conversation. However, you know the truth, and you probably have other things you want to do with your time. By just postponing when you think about this again, you may give yourself evidence that this isn't actually an urgent problem.
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Re: ocd and sexuality
Hi Vio,
One thing I want to add is a reminder to try to be gentle with yourself as you navigate the thoughts and feelings your OCD is bringing up around your writing.
Challenging what OCD is saying instead of trying to push the thoughts away can be really helpful, (OCD hates being challenged, after all), but it can also be draining, so try not to put pressure on yourself to handle this right away on your own, and give yourself time to decompress if it gets overwhelming.
We’re here if you just want to vent about it, too.
One thing I want to add is a reminder to try to be gentle with yourself as you navigate the thoughts and feelings your OCD is bringing up around your writing.
Challenging what OCD is saying instead of trying to push the thoughts away can be really helpful, (OCD hates being challenged, after all), but it can also be draining, so try not to put pressure on yourself to handle this right away on your own, and give yourself time to decompress if it gets overwhelming.
We’re here if you just want to vent about it, too.
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Re: ocd and sexuality
Hey, man. First off, I just want to say I get how distressing OCD thoughts can be, especially when they latch onto something you enjoy, like writing. The fact that you recognize this as OCD and not reality is already a huge step in the right direction. OCD thrives on doubt and tries to make you question things you already know to be true. In this case, your brain is taking a logical fact (your character is an adult) and twisting it into an intrusive fear. That’s just how OCD works—it exploits your worst anxieties and makes you feel like you have to engage with them to "make sure" you're not doing something wrong.
The best way to challenge these thoughts is to not engage with them. Every time you try to argue with OCD, you're reinforcing the idea that the doubt is valid. Instead, acknowledge the thought, remind yourself that it's just OCD trying to mess with you, and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but the more you resist the urge to "prove" to yourself that your writing is okay, the less power these thoughts will have. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy could also be really helpful if you're not already familiar with it. You're not doing anything wrong, and OCD doesn’t get to dictate what you can or can’t write. Keep doing what you enjoy, and try not to let the disorder take that from you.
The best way to challenge these thoughts is to not engage with them. Every time you try to argue with OCD, you're reinforcing the idea that the doubt is valid. Instead, acknowledge the thought, remind yourself that it's just OCD trying to mess with you, and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but the more you resist the urge to "prove" to yourself that your writing is okay, the less power these thoughts will have. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy could also be really helpful if you're not already familiar with it. You're not doing anything wrong, and OCD doesn’t get to dictate what you can or can’t write. Keep doing what you enjoy, and try not to let the disorder take that from you.
xx
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Re: ocd and sexuality
Hey Arlo, and welcome to the boards!
Thank you for your contribution. Indeed, ERP can be a really helpful intervention with OCD.
A quick note on language for the boards for future posts <3 : We ask that folks not use gendered language like “man” towards other users without knowing how they identify and which words they prefer to use to describe their identity. Does that make sense to you?
Thank you for your contribution. Indeed, ERP can be a really helpful intervention with OCD.
A quick note on language for the boards for future posts <3 : We ask that folks not use gendered language like “man” towards other users without knowing how they identify and which words they prefer to use to describe their identity. Does that make sense to you?
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