awkward question..

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26beanbags
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Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2023 1:39 pm
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awkward question..

Unread post by 26beanbags »

hello! i think i am probably on the younger side of users on this website so that makes this more embarrassing (dont worry, i fit the age requirements ), but i have some questions about.. self pleasure. i am a girl and have "girl parts" , and identify as a lesbian. but last night, i had a dream that got pretty "romantical" with a fictional male. as of today, i tried "pleasuring myself" to some explicit photos of said male, and had a very good experience. i am now wondering if this changes anything about my sexuality.

more info:
-when being the master of baiting, i like male pov (i would pretend to be a male doing things with a woman)
-i prefer straight r34, just because there is more of it that fits my desires. however, i dont really desire wlw r34, because most of it is from the male gaze

so sorry if this is tmi, but im very confused !?! :?
Carly
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Re: awkward question..

Unread post by Carly »

Hey 26beanbags -- welcome to the boards! None of this is TMI.

So, what I'm hearing is you're asking us if this changes anything about your sexuality. Truth is, you'd know better than we could. But we can try to help guide you through sorting this out. Can you explain what identifying as a lesbian means for you? How did it feel to have sexual fantasy about someone male?
26beanbags
not a newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2023 1:39 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: US

Re: awkward question..

Unread post by 26beanbags »

to me, it means being a nmlnm. i am romantically only attracted to women (never men), and irl, id would NEVER engage in intimacy with a man, but with a woman i would (when i am older or course). having a fantasy about a male made my sexuality feel insecure to best put it. i thought the man was attractive though, and that made me feel superrrr invalid, since i found a male attractive. i dont how to feel about this since i didnt feel awkward about finding this man attractive since hes fictional, but thought that i might be lying to myself.
Sam W
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Re: awkward question..

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi 26beanbags,

So, while fantasies or other things we enjoy while masturbating can offer us clues to what our sexual orientation might be, they're far from the only thing that tells us what it is. And it sounds like you have a VERY strong sense of what genders you do, and don't, want to be in relationships with, and that you have zero interest in being with men in real life. To me, those strong feelings bear way more weight than one fantasy does, you know?

Too, it sounds like the initial incident was a dream, not a fantasy, and I generally caution people against reading too much into their dreams for information on their sexual interests or sexual orientation because dreams are, to put it bluntly, weird. Our brains are kind of tossing a bunch of information around in a way that seem meaningful at the time but doesn't actually tell us anything important about ourselves.
26beanbags
not a newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Jul 26, 2023 1:39 pm
Pronouns: she/her
Location: US

Re: awkward question..

Unread post by 26beanbags »

thank you for your reply! I’ll take that into some more consideration on my own and try and figure out what fantasy actually means to me.
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