Self Harm Fetish

[suomi]

In short, I have a self harm fetish. I haven't been able to get aroused at anything else but self harm. I just want to know if there's any way to get rid of this or if this is even acceptable in the first place. Any responses are welcome, and thank you in advance.

[Ellie]

Hi Suomi,

I'd love to help. Could you describe this a bit more? Is this a fetish that remains in the realm of fantasy (imagination) for you, or are you concerned about physically hurting yourself?

[suomi]

I'm concerned about physically hurting myself, I cut myself before for sexual reasons.

[Amanda B]

Hey there suomi,

Thanks for giving us some more details. Have you reflected on just what about the cutting and self-harm is the turn-on? There are many ways to simulate intense physical feelings during sex acts that incorporate safety. Could it be that there is an alternative way to experience these same sensations, but just a bit safer?

[suomi]

That's a good idea!

I like feeling being cut or the looks of cuts on another person.

[Sam W]

Hi Suomi,

If part of this is about liking the looks of cuts on other people, then that would be one of the safer ways to engage with this preference,as you could seek out visual media that includes that. And I would encourage you to explore other activities that involve pain since that idea sounds good to you; any kind of behavior where you're cutting into your body just isn't something that can be done safely, because if it goes wrong, it's going to go wrong in a BIG way.

Just as an aside about language, a fetish is an object that causes a person to feel sexual desire- fetishes are not behaviors, preferences, or uncommon kink. So preference or "kink" is actually what you're describing.

[suomi]

That's a good idea! Would it be wrong to lightly cut to the point there's no blood? I also thought of brushing my nails against my skin also. Thank you again for helping!

[Sam W]

I'd avoid using anything to cut lightly that could still lead to a deeper, bleeding cut if you misjudged the pressure or otherwise had an accident with it, just for safety's sake.

From a risk reduction standpoint, brushing or otherwise doing relatively gentle touches with your nails is a sound choice, since you can get quite a bit of sensation from it without any serious risks.

[suomi]

Got it! Thank you so much for talking with me.

[Sam W]

You're very welcome!