how do you go down on a vagina?

[HelllyR]

HIIIUHHII Hello! Great to finally find a place I can send my doubts without feeling judgment. Me and my boyfriend are both eachothers firsts and we like to explore eachothers bodies in any way. I am lucky to have found a boy that is not afraid to go down on me and always tells me how much he likes it. The only problem is I don't seem to like what he does. We're both inexperienced and are just figuring out how to do things, what we like and how we like it, etc. He does all the things to get me excited and I get super wet, but the moment he goes down I dry up and it doesn't feel stimulating. I'm wondering if the problem is me, if it's just not my thing, but also how can I know if something isn't my thing if I don't know how that thing is supposed to be?
we're trying to find a way that works for us. Thank you in advance for any help!!

[KierC]

Hi Helly!

I hear you that oral sex doesn’t feel super stimulating right now, and you’re wondering if it’s the way it’s happening, or if it’s just not your thing. I want to send you this advice article we have on our site, where a user asks a very similar question about oral sex: Oral Sex Doesn’t Affect Me. Is This Normal?. Can you read through this article and let me know if it helps clear anything up?

I also want to address your question of what oral sex is “supposed” to be like. Oral sex can include many types of stimulation. Too, what feels good is highly individualized to each person. From the article Mouthing Off On Oral Sex:

Cunnilingus involves licking and sucking the vulva: the inner and outer labia⁠, the external clitoris⁠, and can also involve the tongue and the vaginal opening⁠ and other areas. Like with fellatio, some people also like to combine it with manual sex⁠, too, getting their hands or fingers involved at the same time. What parts of the vulva someone likes having stimulated during oral sex and how they like that stimulation is – I know, here we go again! – going to vary from person to person. For instance, while plenty of people really like having their clitoral glans⁠ and hood directly stimulated during oral sex, for others, that feels like too much stimulation and tickles instead of feeling good. And some people will prefer sucking rather than licking, some the other way around, some both: it’s all over the map. Just like with fellatio, the best way to find out what you or your partner likes is to explore, experiment and communicate, keeping each other filled in with what feels good and what doesn’t.
Ask questions, and pay attention to body language: if your partner likes what you’re doing, that’s what you keep doing if it also feels good to you. All in all, the best sex tip anyone can give you when it comes to a technique or practice like oral sex or intercourse is to learn to communicate with your partner. There isn’t anything else that can help out as much as simply learning to voice our likes and dislikes, and hear and be responsive to what our partners tell us.

Lastly, this was mentioned in the advice column, but masturbation can be a great way to discover what sort of touches feel pleasureful for you, and can help you tell your partner how to touch you in ways that feel good. Is that something you’ve tried?

[HelllyR]

thank you so much, I'll read the articles you sent <33 thank u divas!!

[KierC]

You are very welcome! <3