Dryness for no reason

[Addyleigh]

I recently started going further with my boyfriend. While I’ve had other bfs before we never did anything at all. While I’m new to mostly everything, I still kinda know what I want in bed because I masturbate at least once a week. While my and my bf haven’t have sex as I’m not ready yet, he has fingered me and tried to eat me out. Whenever he fingers me, I start out REALLY wet but after a few minutes I get so incredibly dry. It’s not that it doesn’t feel good, because it does. I bought lube thinking it would help but it was drying up as fast as I was . Because of this, I’ve only been able to focus on how dry I am and not relax enough to have an orgasm. He feels really bad because he thinks it’s something on his part. We’ve talked about me not coming, but I’m too embarrassed to talk about the fact that I get dry after he starts actually doing anything. I have no clue what to do

[Heather]

Hi there, Addyleigh.

Vaginal dryness is nothing to be embarrassed about. How wet or dry the vagina or vulva is has to do with a lot of things, from where you're at in your menstrual cycle or how hydrated you are to nerves, etc. The vagina will not always get or stay wet when a person is sexually aroused, it just won't. Sounds like you might need to tell that to your boyfriend, too.

If your lube is drying up instantly, I'm betting it's because it's not good quality lube. Unfortunately, most of what is usually sold at pharmacies or big box stores is low-quality (which is infuriating to me as a sex educator and someone who has been low-income most of my life as well as rural for part of it: all people deserve good lube!). If you can fill me in on where you do and can get lube I might be able to help you find some better options.