difficulty reaching orgasm

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
ivnjes
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Apr 19, 2026 11:00 am
Age: 14
Primary language: english !
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: bisexual with a preference for women more
Location: Philippines

difficulty reaching orgasm

Post by ivnjes »

hello! i have a question about sexual health. i'm female (14) and have a difficulty of reaching orgasm.

is it normal to have difficulty reaching orgasm? i usually rely on pillow humping and i'm not comfortable with inserting my fingers inside my vagina. even when i feel like i'm close or at the peak, i end up getting tired and stop before finishing. i'm curious why this happens and if there’s anything i should know or consider. thank you!
mikky
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 189
Joined: Sat Jun 07, 2025 11:08 am
Age: 25
Primary language: English
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Pacific North West

Re: difficulty reaching orgasm

Post by mikky »

hi ivnjes, welcome!

That is absolutely normal- if you scroll around our boards for a bit, you'll see we get this question extremely frequently.

In masturbation, or really with any sexual activity, orgasm can seem like the most important "goal" or outcome- but it is just one, momentary piece of a very big and complex landscape of pleasure. If you are otherwise enjoying what you are doing, and exploring and learning what feels good to you, that is awesome! There are also plenty of ways to masturbate that don't involve inserting your fingers into your vagina but might provide more stimulation than pillow humping. You can read more about exploring masturbation here: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation, and here: Take a Self-Love Road Trip: Let Curiosity Guide Your Masturbation, and here:
How Do You Masturbate?

Can you tell us more about what the "getting tired" is like for you? Are you physically feeling tired, mentally bored, physically overstimulated, or something else?
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