Turning 18, online spaces, mostly rambling

Questions and discussions about relationships: girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, partners, friends, family or other intimate relationships in your lives.
bluespreadsheet
not a newbie
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Turning 18, online spaces, mostly rambling

Unread post by bluespreadsheet »

Mostly rambling about nsfw online. Put in relationships because it asks about how weird it is to talk to people about things that would normally be reserved for a partner.
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I'm aromantic and asexual, and I dislike any idea of being involved in any real-life sex with another person... BUT I am really interested in fictional shipping, nsfw drawings, and writing. When I turn 18 in about five months, I'm interested in getting involved in those fandom spaces.

I'd use an alternate account separated from my main one for nsfw art so that I can stay more anonymous and it's just a better idea to have them separate I hear, because some people only want to find nsfw art when they look through an account and some people want to fully avoid that.

Another reason is because I'd far prefer to be discussing nsfw with... complete strangers? That might sound a little odd, but if I know someone it can be really awkward to explain kinks and whatever to someone who knows you for other things. If they only know me for nsfw and that's it. "discussing nsfw" as in nothing to do with real people, me OR them (highlighting because I think that's very important), but nsfw headcanons as it relates to characters and text-roleplaying as those characters.

I'm not sure how to stay safe in those environments though."Those environments" meaning things like fandom nsfw discord servers or chat websites. When I was 13 I used to go on one of those "chat with random stranger online" websites (completely unaware they were supposed to be used for nsfw, I would only use them for sfw fandom rp with other clueless 13 year olds. I am being entirely honest, I only realized it was supposed to be an nsfw website a few years later XD).

Normally people only would do nsfw rp with their partners I think? But is there anything wrong with only doing it with strangers online (as long as you're not sharing personal info about yourself that could get you into trouble)? What about nsfw rp with close friends? A relationship is determined by those who are in it, so if we're just totally platonic friends AND like to discuss nsfw, that should be normal???
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
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Re: Turning 18, online spaces, mostly rambling

Unread post by Heather »

It's interesting you bring this up after dependentdragon's post today over here: viewtopic.php?f=17&t=12320 Sounds like you two might have some interesting conversation about this!

I don't think it's correct that "normally" people only do this with IRL partners. My sense is that it's just as common (and maybe even more so?) common for people to do so with people they aren't with in real life. But even if that isn't or wasn't the case, if all of what you have described is what feels right for you, and also feels right for anyone else involved, then I think it's fair to say that nope, nothing is wrong unless something changes and then someone doesn't feel right. And in that case, that doesn't necessarily mean the whole thing is a problem, it may just mean some kind of adjustment needs to be made. Same goes for when/if this is something you want to do with friends.

I'm happy to talk with you more about safety in online spaces, but if you want a couple pieces here that are a really good start, I suggest:
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/etc/ ... on_the_net
https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abus ... rom_online
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
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