I’m a lesbian but i have fantasies about men?

Questions and discussion about your sexuality and how it's a part of who you are as a person.
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H0pefull¥
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2024 3:24 am
Age: 18
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: Australia

I’m a lesbian but i have fantasies about men?

Unread post by H0pefull¥ »

Now I’m not sexually attracted to men in real life, I don’t think I’ve really ever properly liked men and when I think about being with one I feel uncomfortable and it doesn’t make me feel good, I’ve always been with women (even though I’ve never been with either sexually) but I’m happy when I think about being with a girl and I love everything about them, but I’ve noticed whenever I masterbate I only have fantasies about men, and they’re mostly degrading types of fantasies, so I’m confused. I feel like I’m ‘faking’ my own lesbianism because of this and I’m not sure how to feel
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Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 10152
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I’m a lesbian but i have fantasies about men?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi H0pefull¥,

A helpful thing to keep in mind about fantasies is that, even thought they can sometimes clue us into elements of our sexual orientation or things we might enjoy in our sex life with another person, they can also entail things that we have zero interest in ever doing.

Given that, if the people you're interested in being with are women, and lesbian feels like the word for your orientation that fits you best, nothing about these fantasies invalidates that, you know?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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H0pefull¥
newbie
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2024 3:24 am
Age: 18
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Lesbian
Location: Australia

Re: I’m a lesbian but i have fantasies about men?

Unread post by H0pefull¥ »

Thank you 🙏🏻
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Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 10152
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: I’m a lesbian but i have fantasies about men?

Unread post by Sam W »

You're welcome!
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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